Category Archives: Comics
The 6 Characters On My Defenders Team
Welcome to San Diego Comic-Con Week! It’s the biggest week in comics, and I’m excited for all the news and trailers and awesomeness bound to arrive this weekend! An expected highlight this year will be The Defenders from Marvel! They’ve got a new comic book, a new action figure line and their Netflix show arrives in one month! I can’t wait!
As has become a tradition here at Henchman-4-Hire, I like to spend Comic-Con Week playing fantasy superhero draft. Superhero team rosters change all the time. Every new X-Men reboot results in several different team lineups. The Avengers or New Avengers or Champions are always changing! This year, I’m going to pitch you my Defenders lineup. If Marvel hired me to write a Defenders comic, these are the characters I’d put on the team!
In the past, I’ve dreamed up rosters for the Avengers, the Justice League, the Fantastic Four, the Teen Titans, the X-Men, X-Force and the Sinister Six!
One of My Own Personal Comic Book Wishes Just Happened
One of my favorite tropes in all of fiction is Evil Versus Oblivion, wherein a super-villain is a reasonable enough person that they willingly side with the heroes when there’s a bigger, more dangerous threat. Doctor Doom, Magneto and the Kingpin do it a lot, offering aid and resources to heroes when someone like Onslaught comes along and threatens to destroy all existence.
This past week, in the pages of Uncanny Avengers, writer Jim Zub and artist Kim Jacinto (with some assists) brought this trope to life with one of my favorite super-villains, a villain I like especially because he’s a reasonable guy.
The Shocker!

Hey! Secret identity, man, jeez!
SPOILERS for Uncanny Avengers #24 and #25.
I love the Shocker because he’s a working class, ordinary sort of crook who just wants to make some money. He doesn’t have an intense, personal hatred of Spider-Man, he’s not consumed with the desire for revenge against the wall-crawler, and he’s not just crazy and evil. He’s just a guy with some special tools that he uses to try to steal money.
And he was trying to loot the Gold Reserve with another favorite villain of mine, Scorpia, when they’re discovered by Rogue. They’re all in Manhattan during Secret Empire, wherein the evil Captain America has created a Darkforce Dimension bubble around the whole island. Monsters of all shapes and sizes are descending on the island and interrupt the villains’ looting.
Then it’s up to Rogue to convince Shocker and Scorpia to join her in fighting for their lives and stopping the monsters!
This is literally plucked from my dream journal of comic book happenings. The Shocker being used in an Evil Versus Oblivion moment? That is what I want from comics. It’s like Zub reached into my brain and picked the absolute perfect character for this moment.
Granted, Shocker doesn’t go full hero — though while we’re on the topic, I think he’d be a great addition to the Uncanny Avengers. Shocker and Scorpia aren’t big on helping Rogue stop monsters, but they’re still involved.

Spider-Man: Homecoming had nothing on this!
And that’s enough for me. I don’t read Uncanny Avengers and I’m avoiding most Secret Empire tie-ins, but when a writer I like seems to literally read my mind and make my comic book wishes come true, I gotta respect that and buy some new comics!
Also, I am now totally ‘shipping Shocker and Scorpia. So that’s a thing.
Double also, this almost makes up for Zub killing off Mach X a couple weeks ago. Almost.
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Hench-Sized Comic Book Reviews – 7/15/17
Can you believe we have to wait all the way until November for another superhero movie? Man, what’s wrong with the world? Good thing we’ve got other comics to fill the time! Detective Comics, Hulk comics, Wonder Woman comics, X-Men comics and Squirrel Girl comics!
Unbeatable Squirrel Girl wins Comic Book of the Week because Ryan North and Erica Henderson revel in what it would actually be like to visit the Savage Land!
I checked in on Amazing Spider-Man this week but decided not to review it because it’s largely a Secret Empire tie-in and I’m not super keen on reading or reviewing a ton of tie-ins. Thankfully, this tie-in is largely focused on Dan Slott’s ongoing story of Doc Ock taking back Parker Industries, so I dig that part of it. And it moves the Spider-Man/Mockingbird relationship forward a little, which I also like. But mostly it was a big, busy, crazy issue. So good times there!
Comic Reviews: Defenders #3, Detective Comics #960, Hulk #8, Unbeatable Squirrel Girl #22, Wonder Woman #26 and X-Men Blue #7.
Strong Guy Watch: It’s Spreading!
Welcome back, faithful comic book fans, for all the latest Strong Guy news! Why am I giving you news on Strong Guy, one of the most obscure and underused X-Men of all time? Because I think it’s pretty hilarious! Also, I’m a big fan.
As I’ve detailed over the past few months, the mutant Strong Guy has been making odd background appearances in a lot of Marvel Comics lately. He often just shows up, usually as part of a group, and rarely says a word. It’s like some edict went out across Marvel to just use Strong Guy in the background of stuff. As a longtime Strong Guy fan, I found this rather neat. It’s the most action he’s ever gotten outside of X-Factor.
And this week, we have a super neat appearance! For some reason, the Strong Guy Edict has reached the Spider-Man office! Behold, Amazing Spider-Man #30!
That’s Strong Guy joining a couple other X-Men to try and defend Horizon Labs from Superior Octopus at the start of Secret Empire! Strong Guy vs. Doc Ock? Cool!
Oh, wait!
Now, as we all know, and as surely Amazing Spider-Man writer Dan Slott knows, Strong Guy’s mutant powers are based on absorbing kinetic energy and transforming it into crazy musculature. So when Strong Guy lands, his body is going to absorb a metric ton of energy and likely blow up his body to a crazy degree!
And as we know from Strong Guy’s past, that sort of thing can be pretty traumatic.
Perhaps that is the origin of his Secret Empire beard? Is it a trauma beard?
This untold Strong Guy story just keeps getting more exciting and deep!
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Oh Hey, So I Finally Noticed Stingray in Secret Empire
I like the Marvel superhero Stingray. He’s a cool guy. Probably my favorite Avenger of all time. And he’s so obscure, he just doesn’t pop up all that often. When he does, I like to take note of it, because this is my blog, and I’m free to make wildly uninteresting (except to a few people) posts on it.
In Secret Empire #5, which came out a week or two ago, but which I only just read, Stingray shows up in charge of the shields at the resistance’s secret base. He apparently made a brief appearance in Secret Empire #1, but I guess I missed it. No matter, though, I’m fully on board the Stingray Watch now!

I’m surprised too!
I’ll let you all know if and when he shows up again. Maybe he won’t. Maybe they’ll kill him. I don’t know, but I do care.
Stingray rules! I’m glad he’s not a HYDRA fascist!
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