Category Archives: X-Men

The X-Men Assembly Line

This is bugging me more than it should. It’s been bugging me all week as Marvel has slowly revealed the roster of their newest X-Men comic. I just want to write this down so I can refer back to this article as many times as I might need to as it keeps repeating in the years to come.

This week, Marvel unveiled the lineup of the new Astonishing X-Men comic by revealing two characters at a time over the course of several days — even though they didn’t do this when they announced the rest of the ResurrXion comics. For some reason, this one is super special.

The full title, lineup and premise was revealed on Thursday.

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There are more details at Marvel.com.

The reason this has been bugging me is because of something I’m going to call ‘The X-Men Assembly Line’. This is where Marvel takes the X brand, adds any one of a number of available suffixes, adds a random adjective at the top and then assembles a random assortment of perfectly ordinary X-characters and calls it a complete comic.

Look at that roster and tell me that couldn’t also qualify as Uncanny X-Men or Extraordinary X-Men or X-Force or Uncanny X-Force or X-Factor or Wolverine and the X-Men or any other possible X-title?

They have been doing this like clockwork every year or two for what has probably been forever, but what feels really common in the past few years.

They already have it planned for 2017.

They did it in 2015.

They did it in 2013.

They did it in 2011.

They did it in 2008.

I’m pretty sure it’s been happening nonstop since at least E is for Extinction in 2001.

It’s the same thing, over and over again. Marvel just churns them out. Slap a bunch of characters together, call it an X-Men comic and let a writer or two putter around for a year or so. Throw in some classic villains. Maybe a random romance while they’re at it. Remember when Iceman and Kitty Pryde were a couple? Remember when we had two, simultaneous versions of X-Force? Remember when Rogue put together a team with Mystique, Sabertooth and Lady Mastermind?

I just want stability. I want team rosters to matter and character relationships to exist beyond a single writer’s whims. When was the last time we had a new character relationship as interesting or as exciting as Scott and Emma? When was the last time any of the X-Men characters actually developed a fun and meaningful friendship with another?

I just want X-Men comics to be good again.

I also wouldn’t mind if Multiple Man and/or Mimic showed up in one of these random rosters for once!

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The Ending To Inhumans vs. X-Men Is Worse Than I Could Have Imagined

Oh, dear lord. How has it come to this? Everything that could have gone wrong in the finale of Inhumans vs. X-Men goes wrong in the new issue. A violent sect of religious extremists are given all the credit and hailed as heroes. The legitimate good guys are shamed and retreat with their tails between their legs. And even that turdburglar Young Cyclops gets a moment to be even more of a sanctimonious prick.

And on top of all that, no Strong Guy!

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And so my Strong Guy Watch has ended

I try not to let comic book stories bug me as much any more. I don’t want to come off like the typical Comic Book Guy, getting all heated over these funny books. But man, nothing raises my ire more than Marvel grinding their supremely awesome Cyclops storyline into the mud. For years there, they were telling the most exciting, nuanced and brilliant X-Men story in a long time. Renegade Cyclops was like reading gold.

But Inhumans vs. X-Men is the final indignant boot heel into all that good will. Cyclops is dead, his legacy rotten to the core, and Medusa gets to be the pretty, pretty princess superhero that Marvel wants.

This is madness.

Join me after the jump! Full SPOILERS for Inhumans vs. X-Men #6.

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6 Ideas for the X-Men Movies After Logan

I saw Logan last weekend and enjoyed the movie, though I wasn’t blown away or anything of the like. Maybe the film would have been more impactful if I hadn’t been so disappointed with recent X-Men films. They’ve become a mess of time travel and alternate timelines, so there hasn’t really been a solid, emotional connection to Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine or Patrick Stewart’s Professor X for a few years now.

Still, it was a fine, enjoyable movie. The real question is where the X-Men go from here.

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So dramatic

Logan was the last franchise performance for Hugh Jackman and Patrick Stewart, two mainstays of the X-Men movies since the very beginning. It’s a pretty conclusive movie and, in a better world, might mark the entire end of the franchise. But nope! Fox Studios has several X-plates spinning at the moment. The franchise has to go somewhere after Logan, no matter how final it seemed.

I happen to have a few ideas on that! Join me after the jump!

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Where Everything Goes Topsy Turvy and Marvel Acknowledges Our Concerns

The Inhumans vs. X-Men end game is upon us, and in the penultimate issue, Marvel acknowledges our anti-Cyclops concerns, Young Cyclops gets put in his place and everybody is positioned for maximum character-defining results. The Nuhumans get to be the good guys and Emma Frost is set up to be the fall guy. Seems pretty simple to me.

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Medusa surrounded by all the dead X-Men is a pretty straightforward cover

In my ongoing coverage of Marvel’s wackadoo treatment of the X-Men, I’ve been pretty flabbergasted at the writing. But thankfully, it seems that Marvel has some idea of what they’re doing. And while the upcoming climax has yet to completely redeem the story so far, and while this sucks for poor Emma Frost, Inhumans vs. X-Men #5 still does a couple things right that I thought I’d share.

As for the Strong Guy Watch, this will be the third week in a row without a real update! It seems he has disappeared from the story as quietly as he appeared. Godspeed, Guido.

Join me after the jump for full coverage! And SPOILERS for Inhumans vs. X-Men #5, obviously.

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Mosaic is an Alright Guy, But Marvel Might Not Know How His Powers Work

I want to get one thing straight right off the bat: I kid because I love. I love Marvel Comics. I love the X-Men. And from Schism to Secret Wars, I absolutely loved what Marvel was doing with Cyclops. They made him the most fascinating character in their universe, with more shades of gray than a steamy, fan fiction romance novel.

Which is why I’m so disappointed that Marvel is completely futzing up Cyclops’ story in the current Inhumans vs. X-Men crossover. All the nuance and complexity is gone as they forcefully paint Cyclops and the X-Men as monsters — until the new issue this week, which might just prove that Marvel knows what they’re doing after all. And it all hinges on that most interesting of new characters, Mosaic.

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Words to live by

For those of you who don’t know, Mosaic is a new Inhuman with the power to jump into your mind and control you like a puppet. He’s also the star of his own brand new ongoing solo series, which is very rare for Marvel these days. They don’t just go around handing ongoing solo comics to brand new characters.

I’ve been reading Mosaic and it’s alright. Personally, I think it’s wasting time on surface level stuff instead of diving into the real drama that’s simmering in the background, but maybe that’s just me. Regardless, Mosaic is a pretty interesting dude, and he plays a pivotal role in this week’s issue of Inhumans vs. X-Men.

How pivotal? Join me after the jump to find out! Also, between all of his appearances in this event, I don’t think the memo is going around about how Mosaic’s body-control powers work.

SPOILERS for Inhumans vs. X-Men #4, as well as the Mosaic ongoing series.

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