Category Archives: Guest Posts

Grand Theft Auto V vs. Saints Row IV

Welcome to the first ever side-by-side review here at Henchman-4-Hire! When both Grand Theft Auto V and Saints Row IV decided to release within only a few weeks of each other, we of the strained wallets could only afford one of the two. Fortunately for me, Sean Ian Mills, and my favorite gamer gal pal, Alyssa (1wombat4u), we each had a favorite. I’ve been a Grand Theft Auto groupie since the days of top-down vehicular larceny, and Alyssa is insane – or at least that’s what I would call someone who isn’t in love with the GTA series. But we’ve had some amazing times in the co-op Saints Row games, so she decided to check out the latest in that wacky, dildo bat-loving series. And now we have pit our two experiences against each other in a head-to-head battle to see which 3D crime simulator is truly the best.

It’s the grand daddy of the entire genre vs. the knock-off that managed to find it’s own direction; it’s Grand Theft Auto V vs. Saints Row IV!

Most important question: which one has the prettiest logo?

Let the battle begin after the jump!

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Five Movie Nerds who Aren’t as Nerdy as you Think

One of the most unfortunate tropes in movies is the introduction of a character that you can immediately label.  These archetypes help foreign audiences to understand the role of a character, even if they don’t understand that character’s background:  The supermodel cheerleader, the suave leading man, the funny fat guy, and the hopeless nerd, among dozens more.   As much as we may hate  it, Hollywood clings to these archetypes, even if they’re derogatory.

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The nerd in film is just there, for the most part, to help the leading man or woman work through the plot of the story and disappear (possibly into a locker).  He may make funny jokes (Possibly locker-related), or come up with a clever invention (locker-related) to help save the world:  But the nerd will rarely, if ever, have his or her day.  But some of these big-screen nerds aren’t as nerdy as they let on.  Here are five nerds from film who are secretly awesome behind the scenes:
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Crysis 3 review

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In my mind, Crysis is one of the most underrated first person shooters that I know of.

Released in 2007, the first Crysis went virtually unnoticed against such competition as Halo 3, Call of Duty 4 and Gears of War.  It was a treasure waiting to be excavated by gamers like myself.

The protagonist was a member of a special unit of highly-trained soldiers wearing experimental “nanosuits” like the one shown above.  The nanosuit offer a range of special abilities to be activated in-game, including super-speed, super-strength, a cloaking device, and armour-plating which added a refreshing new dynamic to the old “Supersoldier kills hordes of aliens” trope made popular by Halo.

Your unit in Crysis was sent to a remote island to fight a North Korean threat.  The short version of the story is that the North Koreans in Crysis woke an ancient, hibernating alien race beneath the earth.  Picking up where the first Crysis left off, Crysis 2 began with an alien plague that had wiped out much of Manhattan’s population and brought the city under marshal law.  A new main character found himself in command of one of the aforementioned nanosuits, and the fate of New York City (and by extension, the world) rested on his shoulders as the Big Apple found itself being invaded by the alien threat unleashed in the first game:  called The Ceph.  He defeats the Ceph hivemind, and the world is saved…until now.

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Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance

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When Metal Gear Solid was released on PSX, its combination of solid, smart gameplay and deep storyline made director Hideo Kojima a respected name among gamers. Followed by the success of three sequels and several portable renditions, it seemed that Kojima could do no wrong.

As such, fans of Metal Gear have been eagerly awaiting this week’s release of the next-gen spinoff, “Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance.”

The game mashes Ghost in a Shell with Ninja Gaiden in a hack-and-slash beat-em-up with surprising depth. Starring the cyborg, Raiden (one of the central characters from Metal Gear Solid 2 and 4), Kojima took Metal Gear Rising in a new direction, providing fast-paced action and crisp, cutting-edge graphics, Rising was a step away from Read the rest of this entry

Game of Slap!

Marshall Erikson (Jason Segel) sings a touching melody in tribute to the young King Joffrey of Westboros…accompanied by a lot of well-deserved slapping. Brilliant.

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