Against all the better judgement from most anybody out there, the Transformers movies return to theaters this week with Transformers: The Last Knight. For some strange reason, the Transformers are now being tied with King Arthur in another big budget, Michael Bay-directed crapshoot. I have a pretty solid love/hate relationship with the Transformers movies. I really enjoyed the first one, but readily agree that every single sequel has been hot garbage — yet I still go see them in theaters opening weekend. Why? I think it’s mostly tradition at this point.
For better or most likely worse, this franchise is going to be with us for a long damn time. This is a billion dollar franchise, and that means Hollywood is never going to stop. Michael Bay has said he won’t direct the next one, but hasn’t he said that before? They’re also talking about spin-offs for a bunch of the characters, like Bumblebee. Why? Money!
So considering the fact that this franchise will likely outlive me, what do I want to see in future Transformers movies? Join me after the jump to find out!
I have no idea what’s going on in the new trailer for Transformers: The Last Knight. I think…the world has come to an end? It’s like a robot post-apocalypse.
I’m pleased to see that John Goodman’s Transformer is coming back. I’ve always been a little disappointed that most of the supporting robots get killed off quickly or disappear between movies. What’s the point of making these films if you can’t keep the recognizable robots? It can’t just be Bumblebee and Optimus Prime!
Also, am I the only person in the world who wants to see Shia Labeouf and/or Megan Fox to return? I want to see a connected Transformers movieverse.
Double also, I’m a little scared of how they’re going to sexualize this new little girl character. What strange, obscure sex laws are they going to pull out of their pockets this time?
Ugh. Is there any worse feeling than trying to shake the last days of a cold? Probably, but for me right now, there definitely isn’t. I’ve been battling this bug for days now and I just want my nose to work properly again! Is that too much to ask?!
At any rate, as with all things that crop up in a given week, I’ve decided to turn my cold into a List of Six! So I scoured the world of pop culture to find six characters, good and bad, who revel in disease and infection. It’s not going to be pretty. You might want to have a box of tissues handy before joining me after the jump!
Not the least of which is not calling the movie Age of the Extinction in order to fit with the rest of the titles in the franchise. Still, there’s so much wrong with this lazy sequel that the Cinema Sins peeps have split their video in two! This is nearly half an hour of riffing, people. Enjoy it on your lunch break maybe!
Am I the only one who wants Megan Fox or Shia Labeouf to come back for the fifth one?
Turns out I’m making this a Transformers day! I honestly did not see that coming, but Honest Trailers whipped out a video for Transformers: Age of Extinction the same week I wrote up that nifty Transformers List of Six. I could not let that coincidence pass without taking full advantage. They hit all the right points. Such a silly movie and franchise.