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I Want Elsa to Be Gay in Frozen 2

Disney is currently hard at work on Frozen 2, the follow-up to their most popular cartoon of the decade. By all accounts, Frozen 2 is probably going to be a nuclear bomb of popularity with kids of all ages.

So here’s the thing: I want Frozen 2 to be a love story where Queen Elsa falls in love with another woman. I want to live in a world where that happens.

Elsa Gay 01

Think about it

If you haven’t suffered through it yet, there’s a 20-minute Frozen cartoon that plays before Pixar’s new Coco film. The cartoon is insufferable, like some sort of mental torture. Coco is great, but this cartoon — Olaf’s Frozen Adventure — is the sort of low budget, cash grab, pure treacle, Christmas special garbage that they’d throw on ABC Family. And the fact that you have to suffer through it before getting to see Coco should be qualified as a crime against humanity.

But while I sat there watching the cartoon in pained silence, I got to thinking about the Frozen universe and the upcoming sequel. I don’t think we have any story details quite yet, but it’s probably a solid bet that Queen Elsa might get a romance in the new film. Her sister, Princess Anna, had a love story in the first one, and Disney loves a good love story.

And I think Elsa should get a girlfriend.

Elsa Gay 02

Celebrate it!

Now, I’m not the first or only person to suggest Elsa should be a lesbian — or really anywhere on the LGBT spectrum. This isn’t some bold new suggestion I’m making. This is just a thought I had recently and feel strongly about, and that’s pretty much the single hurdle something must clear to be worth a post on my blog.

I want to live in a  world where Elsa can be gay.

I want to live in a world where Disney, the most powerful entertainment company in the world, working on their most anticipated movie in decades, takes a stand and makes same-sex relationships totally normal. I want them to look square in the eyes of everybody out there who would decry such a move and tell them to get over it. I want Disney to willfully and gladly suffer whatever financial pitfall might happen.

Frozen 2 could be just the cash grab sequel we all expect it to be. Or it could be one of the most important films of the 21st century. Disney has that kind of clout. I want to see them use it.

Plus it would be super cute for Elsa, which is also important.

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Do You Want to Build a Meth Lab?

Unlike most people on the Internet, I’m not sick at all of Frozen. I love the song ‘Let It Go’, even during that month when the receptionist at my office seemed to play it at least twice a day! So how about a Frozen/Breaking Bad parody? C’mon, you know you want to watch. It’s very well done, and the animation is great.

Also, watch out for Breaking Bad spoilers if you haven’t seen the show yet.

We have animeme to thank for this lovely video. They make the Epic Rap Battles, so are they good at songs and lyrics. You’re god damned right!

Frozen is the New Black

Only Leigh might be my favorite online animator. She’s got the adorable part down, at least!

I love Disney. I love Orange is the New Black. What’s not to love about splicing them together?

How Frozen Should Have Ended

I always love a good Iceman joke.

Though personally, I would have ended Frozen way differently. I liked the movie, sure, but what really bugged me was the romance angle. Obviously, that rich duke guy was evil; we knew it from the very first moment he appeared on screen. But for a little while, I kind of hoped he was going to be legit. His evil turn kind of comes out of nowhere. I thought for sure that Anna would end up with the rich duke and that the lumpy lumberjack guy would end up with Elsa.

But the moment the lumpy lumberjack started racing back to town with Anna, determined to get her to her ‘one true love’, the rest of the film was pretty obvious and painfully predictable. Alas, poor Frozen.

Also, what was up with the trailers having no idea what the movie was about?

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