It’s that time of year again: San Diego Comic-Con! Except the world sucks and those of us in America are going to die from a horrible virus that’s ravaging our dumbest states! Comic-Con, like everything else, was cancelled this year. They’re going to make a lot of big announcements virtually, and I’ll still report on them on this blog if they’re fun enough. But really, the main thing I care about is my annual tradition of fan-casting a superhero team!

And since San Diego Comic-Con is not real this year, then neither is my superhero team! Meet the Secret X-Men!

So basically, ever since Dawn of X revived and relaunched the X-Men franchise, we have seen all manner of new X-Men comics come and go. We’ve got X-Men, New Mutants, X-Force; we had Fallen Angels for a bit, and we’ve got Marauders and maybe the Hellions; a new X-Factor is supposed to be coming out. There’s a ton of freestyle X-Men books, is what I’m saying. Me being the creative chap that I am came up with one of my own: Secret X-Men. And since it’s probably far too late for me to get my foot in the door of Krakoa to pitch this idea to Marvel, I’m just going to make a fan-casting blog post about it!

I’ve done a bunch of these over the years. They’re basically just a fantasy game where I get to write some major team comics and pick my own roster. Last year was Guardians of the Galaxy. I’ve done the core X-Men team. I’ve done my version of X-Force. I’ve done the Avengers, the Justice League, the Fantastic Four, the Teen Titans, the Defenders and the Exiles. So enjoy those old lists and join me after the jump for my idea and the team roster of the Secret X-Men!

And feel free to share your own dream Dawn of X comics, real or imagined, in the comments below! This is just going to be a creativity free-for-all.

The Premise: So basically, in Dawn of X, the X-Men and all of the mutants on the planet (good and evil) have moved to their own island to create a new mutant nation/paradise. This island is Krakoa, and all the various X-Books branch off this one general premise. But there is one thing lacking in all of these X-Books: what are all the average, boring, non-superhero mutants up to on Krakoa? What about Joe Mutant, who was an average dude living a boring mutant life before he decided to take up the offer to move to Krakoa and join the mutant civilization? What about some of the C and D-list mutants from X-history who don’t get a spot on an X-Team? That’s where Secret X-Men comes in.

To give you a taste of this world, the Dawn of X comics did once publish a snippet of a mutant message board that, I think, sums up my idea really well. Who is organizing the intramural sports on Krakoa?

The specific premise of Secret X-Men is that something happens on the island of Krakoa (or off, I haven’t decided yet) that brings together a small group of original and existing minor characters. And for whatever reason (I haven’t decided yet), they are compelled not to reach out to the larger X-Men groups to let them know. It’s this small group of unimportant mutants who decide that there’s something they need to handle, so they dub themselves X-Men on the down low.

The comic is half slice-of-life/half character growth/half minor superhero struggle. So, like…the TV show Friends but mutants.

Now then, on to the characters!

6. Original characters

I would definitely be using some OCs in this comic, so let’s get them out of the way quickly because they don’t really matter. They’d matter to the comic, but I don’t imagine they matter to you fine readers. You do not care about my mutant OCs. But basically I’m picturing ordinary people with pretty lame mutant powers who were living normal, ordinary lives before Professor Xavier put out his psychic message inviting all mutant to Krakoa.

Moving to Krakoa would be a pretty easy decision for Cyclops to make…but what about Michael Griswald of Pittsburgh whose mutant power is enhanced hearing, who works a dead-end job and hates his ex-wife? He’s just been handed the golden ticket to an island paradise, right? What’s his story?

I have a couple of character ideas like that kicking around; I won’t bore you with the details. But basically a couple of ordinary people who, for their own personal reasons that will be explored over the course of the series, give up their previous lives and take the leap of faith of moving to Krakoa. What’s their dorm situation like? Do they have internet access? Jobs? Media? A core part of Secret X-Men would explore how these characters adjust to their new lives and and the impostor syndrome of being nobodies in mutant paradise.

5. Stacy X

Who is she: Stacy X is a mutant with snake-like skin and the ability to control a person’s bodily functions via touch. She was an X-Man briefly in the 2000s, having been recruited from a mutant brothel. Most notably in recent years, she’s one of the few named mutants who lost their powers on M-Day who never got them back. But, presumably, she’s alive, well and has her powers back on Krakoa.

Why pick her: Guess who was finally getting his feet wet with ongoing X-Men comic reading in the 2000s? Me! I’ve always had a soft spot for Stacy X because she showed up just as I was getting into reading X-Men consistently, and I felt she got the short shrift. Meanwhile, she’s perfect for my needs as a character with name recognition and a history with the X-Men. She also has a unique storyline that can build directly off a Dawn of X concept that doesn’t get much focus: to get her powers back, Stacy X would have to die and be reborn. Stacy X would have to get her day in the Crucible! That’s a multi-issue story arc right there!

Also, we’d totally make her name “Ecstasy” finally, after all this time. She’s earned it and the 2020s are a less uptight time.

4. Mimic

Who is he: Calvin Rankin has the power to mimic the powers of anyone else around him. He was the very first new member of the X-Men after the original five, way back in the 1960s. He’s lived a pretty low key life, bouncing between hero and villain over the years. Most recently, he helped the X-Men in a big fight and sacrificed his life for the team.

Why pick him: First of all, yes, Mimic is one of my all-time favorite comic book characters. If I ever get the chance to write an X-Men comic, he’s gonna be on my team. But I think Mimic could have a unique role on Krakoa. He’s one of the only people with the power to copy others, and he’s alreayd been singled out in Dawn of X as one of the back-up players for the Five, the resurrection team. That’s a lot of pressure on a person. He’s also a human, always has been, which makes him one of the few humans allowed on Krakoa. That’s some more pressure! I figure Mimic would be a good source of character anxiety in Dawn of X.

3. Blob

Who is he: Fred Dukes is the freakin’ Blob! He’s big, he’s a jackass and he’s been a thorn in the X-Men’s side since the very beginning of Marvel Comics. He’s also settled into life as a bartender on Krakoa, and we’re hopefully going to see more of what he’s up too soon. But until then, he’d be a great supporting character in Secret X-Men.

Why pick him: I’ve always been a fan of the Blob for reasons that are much too complicated to get into right now. But he’s a big fun jackass of a character, and that should offer a lot to play with. He’s also the bartender on Krakoa, so he’s very important. Most recently, though, Blob was given some of the first character development of his life in the Age of X-Man, an alternate reality where Blob got to experience how great life could be if he’d never been ostracized in his life, and if he held a respectable position in mutant society. Life was so good, Betsy Braddock fell in love with him. Then that life got torn away as the real world came back, and now Betsy’s off going on adventures as the new Captain Britain. But what of Fred? Is he still longing for her? Does he think, if he plays nice on Krakoa, he might become a good person again? One worthy of love and respect? Sounds like good character drama to me!

2. Rhapsody

Who is she: Rachel Argosy is so obscure a character that I might be the only person who remembers her. She appeared in a single storyline in Peter David’s X-Factor way back in 1992. She was a mutant school teacher with the power to control people and make weird stuff happen with music. She unintentionally caused a man to have a heart attack and she got arrested and sent to prison. She hasn’t been seen since, unless you count any random blue-skinned woman in a crowd to be her. Yet despite that one single appearance back in 1992, she was selected as one of the few mutants to retain their powers after M-Day. I’ve always wondered why Marvel made that decision and then never did anything with it.

Why pick her: Speaking of my early comic reading habits, X-Factor #79 was one of my first comics. It’s one of the main reasons why Multiple Man is my all-time favorite comic book character. And so Rhapsody has always been an obscure favorite of mine. I don’t think she’d bring any particular angst or drama to Secret X-Men. But she’s a super obscure mutant that I’d dust off and bring in as a gal pal to Stacy X. Really round out the cast!

1. Dazzler

Who is she: Alison Blaire is an X-Man so classic that she was in the 1990s arcade game! I never played as Dazzler, but she was there. Her mutant power is to turn sound into dazzling light, and she’s used that to become a rockstar. Everybody and their brother has tried to make Dazzler an ongoing character over the years, but it rarely works for some reason. She’s been with all manner of X-teams and in all manner of storylines.

Why pick her: I would definitely need a popular and familiar X-character to anchor the series, and I would go with Dazzler (most others are in the main books). First and foremost, I would lean hard into Dazzler’s career as a rockstar. Everybody tries to make her a superhero or a secret agent, but those are boring. Comics have millions of those. Comics do not have very many superhero rockstars. I would put that focus front and center. Surely Krakoan society needs artists, right? Needs international attention? Dazzler is an international superstar! Her music can really get people on board with Krakoa. She’d be a great ambassador to the rest of the world. And I really think her day-to-day would be very interesting and make for great comics!

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