Hench-Sized Comic Book Reviews – 4/26/14
This is the week of zero issues, apparently! All of the cool kids are starting off their new comic books with an issue #0 instead of the traditional #1. Because who needs tradition, amiright? Besides, ‘zero’ starts with a ‘Z’, so that makes it cooler already.
We’ve got both Justice League United #0, the start off the next Justice League spin-off , and Original Sin #0, a prologue to this Summer’s Big Event from Marvel. Original Sin actually makes for a nice little prologue, while this #0 issue of Justice League United actually reads like a #1 issue. I wouldn’t be surprised if Justice League United #1 just picks right up from where #0 left off.
So what was the point?
Beyond those zero books, we’ve got new issues of Aquaman, Fantastic Four and Batman Eternal, which continues its efforts to drive me insane. I also decided to jump back into Red Lanterns, which was a good choice, because Red Lanterns #30 wins Comic Book of the Week! Though, admittedly, there wasn’t much released this week.
Comic Reviews: Aquaman #30, Batman Eternal #3, Fantastic Four #3, Justice League United #0, Original Sin #0 and Red Lanterns #30.
You can also check out my review for Elektra #1 at Word of the Nerd!
Cyborg Cast in New Superman/Batman Movie
This casting news has come out of left field, but Broadway actor Ray Fisher has been cast as Cyborg in the upcoming Man of Steel sequel. Variety reported the news yesterday. I’ve never heard of the guy, but the people who cast Ben Affleck as Batman and Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor seem to think he’s their man.
Not quite the $6 million man
So what started out as just a sequel to last year’s successful Superman movie is suddenly turning into Justice League Lite. Not that I’m complaining, mind you. I think it’s a great idea. The Superman sequel now has Batman, Wonder Woman and Cyborg in it. I’m just upset that nobody has announced Robin yet for the movie!
For those who don’t know, Cyborg is Vic Stone, a member of the most recent Justice League. He’s basically just a cyborg, a guy who’s body was enhanced with robotic parts. The article says he won’t be a big part of the movie, but obviously, at this point, we can all see that Warner Bros. and DC Comics are gearing up for a full-on Justice League movie. More power to them. I didn’t like Man of Steel, so cramming a bunch of other awesome superheroes into the sequel might make up for it.
Review: Teen Titans #30
Strap in, friends. We’ve got a bumpy ride ahead of us. Teen Titans #30 is the worst issue of the entire series. Scott Lobdell has been cancelled, and it’s clear from this issue that he isn’t going down without a war. He’s going to bury his volume of Teen Titans! In horrible dialogue, in ridiculous callbacks, in desperate attempts to wrap-up dangling plot threads; whatever he can cram into this ending, he’s gonna do it.
Teen Titans #30
Lobdell’s Teen Titans has got nothing left to lose and nothing more to gain. It’s going to flame out in craptacular fashion!
Comic Rating: 1/10 – Terrible!
I will never know what Lobdell originally planned for the Titans’ return from the future, but there’s no way it was Teen Titans #30. I’m going to assume that he assumed he’d be writing the series for a long while to come, and that this cancellation was never part of the plan. You’ll see what I mean when we get to the synopsis, but Lobdell just shovels characters, plots and dialogue into this final issue in such a way that it’s clear he’s trying to squeeze in as much as possible before the end. I suppose it was nice of DC to let Lobdell finish the series on his own terms. I would also call it a mistake, except that who cares? Teen Titans is going to restart with a brand new #1 issue, and there’s a good chance that, in a few months, Lobdell’s entire run will just be a footnote in history. We’ll never have to think about it ever again.
I just don’t know if I can properly convey how bad this issue is. I wish I was more poetic or clever, and maybe I could turn this review into its own work of art. But I am not that gifted. I am just a man. A man of many words, yes, some of them rambling, but a man I remain. Though perhaps inspired by some of my favorite superhumans, maybe I can rise to the challenge and use these many words for the good of all Internetkind. Maybe I have what it takes to talk about the painfully unfunny dialogue, the mind-bogglingly pointless cameos or the unfettered love of editorial notes pointing you to previous issues. I think…I think I can do this.
Gulp, here we go! Join me after the jump for the full synopsis and more review of the worst Teen Titans issue you will ever read!
6 Gritty Reboots I Want to See
I’m a big fan of gritty reboots, and apparently so is Hollywood. They’re all the rage these days. And they’re the best way to keep a big time franchise alive. Want to find a way to make a whole new Spider-Man trilogy only a few years after the first one? Gritty reboot! Want to make Daniel Craig’s James Bond more appealing to modern movie audiences? Gritty reboot! Want to turn the silly, cartoony, 1980s Transformers into a modern, billion-dollar blockbuster franchise? Gritty reboot!
Gritty reboots are a Hollywood cure-all, and I think they can make for some really good stories.
Old Man Flanagan bought a lot of rubber zombie masks
The key to making a gritty reboot is to add realism to an otherwise preposterous story. Often these movies are more grim than their previous counterparts, but I don’t think ‘grim’ is a necessity. It’s all about realism. It’s the difference between the Avengers and the Ultimates. Between the campy, colorful madness of Batman and Robin and the dark, urban realism of Batman Begins.
This year, gritty reboots of Godzilla and the Ninja Turtles will be hitting the big screen. But there are still some properties out there that I think are ripe for a big, gritty, realistic return!
Join me after the jump for six franchises that could use a little more grit!
Batman: Arkham Origins DLC Out Today!
It doesn’t feature Robin – as far as I know – but Mr. Freeze is a good consolation prize, right? Plus, Batman gets a beefy new super suit!
That’s a pretty awesome trailer. I haven’t played Batman: Arkham Origins since it came out, but I definitely enjoyed it, so maybe I’ll plot down the $10 and get this DLC. I’ve been looking for some new games recently.
Henchman-4-Hire 