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How It Should Have Ended Probably Can’t Help Themselves

I am only one man. With one dinky little blog that I write purely as a hobby. And if you take nothing else away from my ramblings, know that I don’t like it when the How It Should Have Ended cartoons cut to their inane Batman/Superman cafe scenes.

It totally ruins an otherwise awesome Aquaman parody.

These animators have a great gimmick. They are often very funny. And the animation is killer. But stop shooting yourselves in the foot by making every superhero episode cut to Batman and Superman saying the same catch phrases over and over in a cafe! Especially stop making it the bulk of your gorram episode!

There I was, waiting to see how they planned to “really” end Aquaman…only for Batman to swoop in and make their jokes and ruin the moment. Not cool, people.

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Hench-Sized Comic Book Reviews – 1/26/19

This is one of those weeks where nothing I read comes out. Sometimes there are weeks where nearly a dozen of my favorite comics come out. And then there are weeks like this one, where barely a handful come out. It’s weird. But hey, less work and expense for me.

I picked up the new issue of Aquaman, which may be my last. And I picked up the first issue of Donny Cates’ new Guardians of the Galaxy out of pure Beta Ray Bill curiosity. I also went back and reviewed Champions #1, as requested. Comic Book of the Week goes to Guardians of the Galaxy #1! Good for it.

guardians new crew 01

Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol. 4

Meanwhile, Marvel resurrected Cyclops for real in an annual issue this week. Considering I was a pretty big proponent of my own Cyclops-related conspiracy theory, I might consider doing another rant about how they’ve neutered poor Cyclops again. I’ll think about it.

Quick note: I forgot to attach the cover images to my reviews, and now I’m at work so I can’t. I’ll fix that later.

Comic Reviews: Aquaman #44, Champions #1, Guardians of the Galaxy #1. 

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Hench-Sized Comic Book Reviews – 12/22/18

Merry Christmas everybody! Or at least in a few days for those of us who celebrate. I’ve got a long weekend of hanging out with family ahead of me, and hopefully some sweet presents!

We had some boffo comic book presents this week, with new issues of Aquaman, Batman, Uncanny X-Men, West Coast Avengers and more! Comic Book of the Week goes to an absolutely delightful Runaways Christmas special!

Runaways Christmas 01

Also, watch Runaways season 2 on Hulu!

Meanwhile, how about that Aquaman movie? Was that insanely cool or what? I can’t remember a movie with that level of size and scale, and who actually pulled it off. So much fun! Such madness!

Comic Reviews: Aquaman #43, Batman #61, Catwoman #6, Iceman #4, Runaways #16, Uncanny X-Men #6 and West Coast Avengers #6.

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Hench-Sized Comic Book Reviews – 12/1/18

Both Aquaman and Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse are getting great word-of-mouth ahead of their upcoming releases. That is both crazy and awesome! I’m really excited for these movies now!

But we’re not here to talk movies! That’s just my way of opening up this article with some general superhero chatter. We’re here to talk comics, and this week is a doozy! We’ve got Superman, Spider-Man, X-Men, Wonder Woman, Booster Gold and more! Comic Book of the Week goes to Fantastic Four #4, for an issue that I hope is a solid example of what we’re going to see going forward.

Fantastix 01

There are now two flat, stretchy superheroes in the Marvel Universe

Meanwhile, I got a request to review the finale to the Drowned Earth storyline in Justice League. I dropped the main comic awhile ago, so I had a lot of catching up to do. I liked the first couple of issues, but big team-focused comics aren’t my cup of tea these days, so I faded from the series. But I take my review requests seriously, so you best believe I have reviewed the Drowned Earth finale below!

Comic Reviews: Action Comics #1005, Amazing Spider-Man #10, Aquaman/Justice League – Drowned Earth #1, Fantastic Four #4, Heroes in Crisis #3, Uncanny X-Men #3 and Wonder Woman #59.

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I’m Still Not Sure How I Feel About Aquaman

Looks like I’m just going to have to watch Aquaman in theaters and form my opinion that way. There’s one final trailer for Aquaman, and I just don’t know how to feel about this movie. The trailer seems cool…

…but then it goes and does things I don’t like. For example, it establishes the trident as a McGuffin in the trailer! There’s nothing inherently wrong with McGuffins, but I feel they’re kind of weak. And to establish it in the trailer seems tacky. For another example, the trailer also hits the viewer with a ton of awkward exposition. Like describing the antagonist in full as “your half-brother King Orm” or whatever they said. That name doesn’t mean anything to anybody, not even Aquaman fans. There’s no need to spell it out so much in the trailer. They don’t name Black Manta. There’s no need to name Orm.

Finally, the new trailer, especially, showcases a ton of CGI battle footage. It looks cool, and being filled with undersea monsters is unique, but movies that rely on nothing but overwhelming CGI battle footage don’t fair too well.

Still, I like the idea of a badass Aquaman movie. And I still like Jason Momoa in the lead role. And I’ve heard great things about director James Wan. And Black Manta looks cool. So I’m perched precariously over the prospect of this Aquaman films…

It doesn’t help that it’s coming out the same weekend as Mary Poppins Returns and Bumblebee. This is probably why Marvel doesn’t release movies the week of Christmas.

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