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The Rings of Power Continues to Look Impressive, At Least

I have not yet watched the first episode of the new Game of Thrones show on HBO Max. I have zero interest in this high budget prequel series to an existing prestige TV show. Likewise, I have zero interest in the high budget prequel series to an existing prestige series of movies. The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power looks impressive, but man, I just don’t care.

So because of a licensing conundrum, Amazon is gonna try to cobble together a show based on Lord of the Rings appendixes? Bwuh? Galadriel is gonna get up to some fightin’ in the long past with no discernable storyline? I just don’t care. But, you know, I’ll probably watch the show eventually. It’s what I do. I watch things.

The Rings of Power comes out on Sept. 2.


The Rings of Power Hasn’t Hooked Me Yet

There’s going to be a big, expensive Lord of the Rings TV show. It’s going to be set millennia before the movies, focusing on some supplemental material from J.R.R. Tolkien. It’s going to be called The Rings of Power on Amazon Prime, and it’s going to look like this.

And I don’t think it looks like anything. This trailer looks gorgeous. Clearly the money was spent on big CGI landscapes. Because all the character scenes look far less expensive. And none of them are talking about anything interesting. It all looks really cool. But this trailer doesn’t reveal anything about plot or story or characters that gets me excited.

It looks like Amazon put all of their money into making this big show, but have probably failed to come up with any sort of story worth telling.

I hope I’m wrong, obviously. I’m going to watch this show. There’s no reason the showrunners and writers can’t have come up with something really great, that just so happens to have billion-dollar CGI landscapes.

So I’m going to keep my hopes up for when The Rings of Power premieres on Sept. 2!


6 Coolest Pop Culture Tree People (Not Named Groot)

The best laid plans of mice and men…I had the idea for this List of Six about a year ago. I knew that the Guardians of the Galaxy sequel was coming, and I thought this would make a neat list to post the week that movie came out. It would have been neat synergy! But then something happened to my brain and I forgot all about it. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 came and went (and was spectacular).

Tree People List 01

No longer the cutest Groot

Everybody loves Groot. He’s fantastic. He’s one of the only Guardians characters I actually like in the comics. Heck, I liked him before he was cool, back when the modern Guardians got their true start in the pages of Annihilation: Conquest. Groot is the best tree.

But he’s not the only tree! Join me after the jump for the six coolest tree people other than Groot!

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Lord of the Rings as a Comedy

The genius that is The Unusual Suspect has made another great trailer, this time combining Suicide Squad with Lord of the Rings — but honestly, it’s just a comedy cut of LOTR set to Bohemian Rhapsody, and it’s amazing.

This is what the Internet was made for. This is the genius that is The Unusual Suspect. This is a good way to start the day!


Review: The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

Count me among the people who regret that The Hobbit films were stretched out into a trilogy. There is so much unnecessary filler and extra nonsense in these movies, and in The Battle of the Five Armies especially, that this third movie is all third act. There’s not enough material for The Battle of the Five Armies to stand on its own, with nearly everything – especially the emotional impact – tied to the first two films. And since an entire year has passed, none of that emotion or interest has carried over.

The Battle of the Five Armies is entertaining at the barest, baseline level, because it’s still a well-made film telling a story that I like. But The Hobbit trilogy has been stretched too thin, like butter  scraped over too much bread.

Movie Review: 5/10 – Alright.

I suppose in one long, 9-hour viewing, The Hobbit as a whole might be a good movie. But who has the time or energy to watch that sort of thing? Who could have the desire? I’ve never read any of author J.R.R. Tolkien’s original works, so I don’t speak from a literary perspective. As a movie-goer, as someone who loves The Lord of the Rings movies deeply, I feel that The Hobbit was just too jammed up with nonsense. Fights were long, characters were uninteresting, story arcs were uninspired, and nothing hit with the same impact as The Lord of the Rings. Director Peter Jackson tried to make too much out of too little, simple as that.

Personally, I’m more than willing to blame the studio, which probably pushed for the trilogy in order to make more money. Cynical things like that definitely happen. And I suppose Jackson and his team of writers, actors and producers did their best to make this trilogy work. But The Battle of the Five Armies is a slog. They don’t even try to make it it’s own movie.

Join me after the jump for the full review! There will be SPOILERS from The Battle of the Five Armies!

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