Sean’s Guide to Wedding Gifts
I attended the wedding of an old family friend over the weekend and I’ve come away with a rather fun anecdote I thought I’d share with everyone. I can’t be talking about comics all the time, right? Sometimes I might actually have some interesting advice to dish out! And I definitely do when it comes to wedding gifts.
Neither my sister or my brother has gotten married yet, so for the past several weddings I’ve attended, I’ve pretty much just been a cousin or a random friend who got invited. They’ve been some great ceremonies, and I love all these people dearly, but in the grand scheme of things, I was pretty low on the totem of important people – and therein lies the genius of what I’m about to tell you. I’m sure we’ve all been in this situation, where we’re just not that important of a person at a wedding. There are tons of aunts, uncles, parents, siblings, best friends and more who can do all of the important wedding stuff, like stick to the gift registry or support the bride and groom. For those of us on the fringes, I recommend having some fun with that position.
Here’s a picture I took of the bride – let’s call her ‘Mel’ – and her son ‘James’ admiring the gift I bought.
Note the Star Wars bag in which it was delivered.
During the wedding reception, James happened to notice the bag, which was entirely the point. I knew the kid would love it. What I didn’t expect was that James hunted down his mother, pulled her away from the festivities and asked her if they could open the present. Fortunately, my table happened to be right next to the gift table, and I was able to witness this glorious exchange. And of course I told them they could open it. It was their present.
Inside was three things: an air-popping popcorn maker, the necessary popcorn, and a Halloween card in which I had written ‘Happy Wedding’.
It’s OK, I’ll wait until your laughter dies down.
This was definitely a ‘you had to be there’ moment. But from it I hope to impart a kernel of an idea: if you’re a low on the totem-pole wedding guest, then have some fun with your gift! I once got my friend Shannon a toaster that burned the Spider-Man symbol into the bread, because he’s such a Spider-Man fan! (I’m not sure what his wife thought of the gift) And this was the second air-popping popcorn maker I’ve given out as a wedding gift. They’re just fun, and I think a wedding is a great place to have some fun.
So my advice to you is that next time you attend a wedding, put your gift in a Star Wars bag…but only if the bride and groom have a good sense of humor. Don’t go getting your head bitten off by angry relatives.
Also, James was really, really disappointed that there weren’t Star Wars toys in the bag…So plan accordingly.
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Gotham is Going to be More Badass Than We Hoped!
Opinions may vary on the quality of Gotham, but I like it, and this new promo trailer for the first season is pretty darn exciting!
We’re two episodes deep into Gotham, and so far, I’m a happy camper. Once they shake the opening jitters, I think Gotham is really going to take off. But while we’re on the subject, I was reading an interesting article on i09 the other day and thought I’d weigh in.
How does Gotham successfully tell the story without Batman? If Gordon succeeds in cleaning up all of the crime and the super-villains before Batman even arrives, then why does Gotham City even need Batman? Or conversely, if none of the super-villains show up until after Batman debuts, doesn’t that mean he only makes the situation worse?
I think Gotham can pull this off with ease.
Obviously, they just need to introduce Batman. I’m thinking by season 3 or 4, they can get a whole season out of that scene in Batman Begins where Bruce Wayne visits Gordon in his office and says, “Now we’re two.” Problem solved!
But seriously, the show can pull off this balancing act, and I think they already know how: focus on the mobsters.
This is a very storied time in Gotham City’s history, when the mob control of Carmine Falcone slowly slips out of his grasp as the freaks take over. And you’ve got your lead freak in Oswald Cobblepot, whose rise to power is clearly going to be one of the main storylines. Penguin perfectly straddles the line between mobster and freak super-villain. So focus on Gordon and Bullock battling Falcone and Fish Mooney in the first season, while the Penguin works his way up from the trenches.
This then leads to an all-out gang war on the streets of Gotham at some point, between Falcone, Sal Maroni and Fish Mooney, with the Penguin surprising everybody by being more vicious and more wild than any of them could have predicted.
And, most importantly of all, you have Gordon lose.
Oh he’ll try, and he’ll fight, and every once and awhile, he’ll get a victory. Harvey Bullock will come over to his side in full at some point. More police officers will listen to him in time. But in the great big grand scheme of things, Gordon will lose, and Gotham City will keep getting worse.
And then it will need the Batman.
Gotham has more than enough time to pull this off. Start small in the battle between Falcone and Mooney in season one, with the Penguin very much on the fringes. Build up to a full-on gang war for seasons two and three, perhaps. Not every episode has to be about the serialized gang war. Throw in the occasional proto-villain here and there, like a ‘crime-of-the-week’ sort of thing, and you can pad out the seasons while remaining interesting.
All of those freaks we met in the first episode will stay on the sidelines. Selina Kyle can obviously keep operating as a young cat burglar for as long as they need. Ivy Pepper never has to do anything further. And Edward Nygma never has to turn completely into the Riddler over the course of the series. The cops are always going to need a forensic analyst, after all. Heck, maybe Riddler can become the big bad who eventually defeats Gordon. Maybe by season 4, the Penguin is coming into his full power, and he teams up with Nygma to really destroy the GCPD…which is when Batman shows up to lend a hand! Seriously, stop being assholes and bring Batman into your Batman show.
But there you go, Gotham, my two pieces of advice: have Jim Gordon lose, and focus on a gang war with the Penguin as wildcard. There’s your show.
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World of Warcraft Needs to Go Into Animation
In the build-up to the next expansion, Warlords of Draenor, the good people at Blizzard created a series of five webisodes detailing the back stories of the titular Warlords. Any fans of Warcraft lore like me will find a lot to love in this videos. They’re expertly animated and voice-acted, as we have come to expect from Blizzard. And they go a long way to selling the potential awesomeness for this expansion.
Though they’re not talking pandas…
For those who don’t yet know, the Warlords are all of the evil orc characters from the first and second Warcraft games, given a new lease on life in World of Warcraft through time travel. The whole thing is a little wonky, but like I said, I’m a huge lore fan, and I really dig this stuff.
Check’em out and immerse yourself in some amazing lore!
Kargath Bladefist
Grom Hellscream
Durotan
Kilrogg Deadeye
Maraad
I still haven’t decided whether or not I’ll be buying Warlords of Draenor. I haven’t played WoW for awhile now, and I’m kind of broke these days, but maybe I’ll give it a shot. I’m definitely eager to see the new, updated character models.
Any of you henchies going to snatch this game up on the day of release?
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Let’s Start Our Week With Some Batman
Some hyper-talented piano-playing blokes decided to do a medley of various Batman theme songs. When you’re trying to sell your record, adding Batman songs is a surefire way to go viral.
Sweet song, but it could have been longer and more badass. But hey, at least The Piano Guys tried. That’s more than I ever did with Batman music. But then those themes wouldn’t sound very good on the trombone, which I haven’t played since…high school, maybe? Good old, loyal trombone.
Trailer for the Final Season of Legend of Korra Hits Web, Fails to Impress
I can’t be the only one who hasn’t been all that impressed with the Legend of Korra, right? Every season has essentially been the same, and none of it has been all that great. It’s nowhere near the grand scale and majesty of The Last Airbender. Korra tries, don’t get me wrong, but meh.
Anyway, Nickelodeon is rushing out the final season online next week, and they’ve dropped a sizable trailer. I can’t say as how I’m all that impressed by the trailer, since it’s basically just a bunch of random people bending. The final season is set 3 years after the last one, so it’s also kind of hard to tell characters apart, since some of the kids have grown into puberty. Which one is Korra and which one is Jinora? Also, stay until the very end for the reveal of a nice cameo.
Looks to me like metal-benders are going to be the new Big Bad of the season, and that’s my problem with Legend of Korra in a nutshell: every season is about some new evil person stepping up, and then Korra and her friends struggling all season until they finally pull out a win. The three seasons of The Last Airbender told one massive, epic story, that rightfully focused on he personal and spiritual growth of its characters until they were ready to save the world. Legend of Korra is all about Korra and her dumb friends chasing after a bad guy until the final episode, where she pulls out the win because that’s how this works. There’s been very little personal growth for any character over three seasons, let alone the world as a whole.
I’m gonna watch Season 4, no doubt, but more out of duty than an actual desire to see what happens.
Henchman-4-Hire 