Category Archives: Movies

6 Things I Want to See in a Ninja Turtles Sequel

I would be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. I couldn’t help myself. The film was too energetic to be boring, and I will forever be a lifelong fan of the Ninja Turtles. That’s not to say it wasn’t a ridiculously stupid movie. There were so many plot holes and gaps in logic that I considered making a whole List of Six out of those flubs.

But I’m a positive guy who loves everything Ninja Turtles related! With a sequel already announced, I felt like embracing this franchise and everything it has to offer!

Like angry eyeballs!

And I’m only maybe talking about the Punk Frogs. One of the things I loved most about the Ninja Turtles cartoon in the 80s was the huge cast of fun and colorful mutants. But Michael Bay and Friends should probably stay away from adding too many new mutants to a movie franchise. So that’s out. I also probably shouldn’t request they change everything, like the stupid new take on the Turtles’ origin. We’re probably stuck with this new status quo, but it’s not so bad, as long as you just ignore it and focus on other parts of the movie.

As bad as this movie might be, we’re looking at a whole new Ninja Turtles franchise here, folks. I, for one, am going to embrace this new madness! Join me after the jump for my six suggestions for the Ninja Turtles sequel!

Read the rest of this entry

I Am On the Fence About a Planet Hulk Movie

How cool was it when the Hulk punched that Leviathan during the big climax of The Avengers? I can still remember the audience bursting into cheers as my own heart soared. I don’t think I’ve seen anything as thrilling as that moment since. That punch may very well be the defining moment of the entire Avengers franchise.

He’s always angry

So where’s the new Hulk solo movie?

Mark Ruffalo nailed it in The Avengers. He fit the role perfectly, and I for one couldn’t be happier with his performance. I think we can all also agree that the Hulk was the breakout character of the movie. Joss Whedon got the Hulk absolutely right, his feats of strength writ large on the big screen. The character couldn’t be hotter. But we’ve heard bupkis about any new Hulk movies.

Other than rumors that Marvel might send the Hulk into space for an adaptation of the Planet Hulk storyline from the comics – to which I am fairly unsure about. A lot of people want to see Planet Hulk on the big screen, but I don’t think I’m one of them.

Hulk doubtful

On the one hand, I just don’t think Planet Hulk would be the best use of the character in the Marvel Movieverse. The storyline worked fine for the comics, but a movie is a different beast entirely, especially in the Movieverse continuity. For one thing, Bruce Banner barely factors into Planet Hulk, so Ruffalo would be wasted. You better believe that matters in a big budget movie.

In the comics, Planet Hulk is a story about the Avengers sending Hulk out into space so that he can’t trouble the people of Earth anymore. Hulk winds up on a strange alien planet, where he’s immediately captured and turned into a gladiator, exactly like the gladiators of Ancient Rome. Hulk suppresses Banner so that he never has to change back, and the Big Green Machine eventually fights his way to freedom and then leads an uprising against the cruel regime that imprisoned him. It’s a pretty standard storyline, but the bare bones approach of Hulk smashing everything to freedom really appealed to readers.

So good!

But I don’t want this adapted to film (other than the cartoon adaptation they already made). The story is as basic as it gets: Hulk as a gladiator. There is little depth to the Hulk or his characterization. He doesn’t like being controlled, so he breaks free and then takes the fight to the people who tried to control him. He makes a bunch of friends along the way, and finds love, but it’s just the Hulk smashing everything until he wins, and that’s not my kind of movie.

I prefer my Hulk set firmly in the context of Earth, where HULK IS THE STRONGEST THERE IS! If you plop the Hulk into the world of Guardians of the Galaxy, he’s just another freaky looking alien. And if you take away Banner, that makes it even worse, and Hulk becomes even less human. Do we really want Mark Ruffalo running around on some alien gladiator planet? Doesn’t he work better as the nerdy science guy on Earth?

A handsome nerdy science guy

On the other hand, Hulk has already had two mediocre outings that kept him on Earth. Sending him into space would be new and interesting. I will go on record as a fan of both Ang Lee’s Hulk in 2003 and the Edward Norton reboot in 2008, which is an often-ignored part of the wider Movieverse. But society as a whole isn’t too favorable to either film. They outright dislike Lee’s film, and generally ignore the Norton movie. Both were about Bruce Banner as a tortured soul, where being the Hulk was a great curse that he tried to cure.

That’s why Joss Whedon got the character right in The Avengers. In that film, the Hulk was embraced, treated as something useful and fun. Sure, Banner was still bothered by having to become the Hulk, but by the end, both he and the Big Green Guy were embraced by their fellow heroes, and Hulk was instrumental in saving the day.

That’s the Hulk I want to see in future films.

I don’t want to watch the Avengers or anyone else send Hulk off into space to get rid of him. I don’t want to see Banner and friends spend their lives trying to cure the Hulk. I want to see a movie where Banner embraces the Hulk in the context of life on Earth, where he remains the strongest person alive, but also fallibly human.

Sorry, I lost my train of thought due to awesomeness…

I don’t exactly have any ideas beyond that. But there are decades worth of great Hulk stories out there. People only remember ‘Planet Hulk’ because it was recent, and there haven’t been any Hulk stories as notable since. But these movies no longer rely on any sort of direct adaptation. Most of the new Marvel movies are original stories, borrowing freely from the comics to make something uniquely their own.

The Hulk is in just such a position. Planet Hulk would be a rote adaptation for the breakout star of the franchise. There’s no doubt that the character is going to explode all over again in next year’s Age of Ultron.

After that, Hulk is going to be too big to just sit around playing gladiator games.

———————-

What If Michael Bay Had Directed Pixar’s ‘Up’

This isn’t your daddy’s mash-up trailer. Youtuber MrStratman7 went above and beyond with this bit of silliness. Can you tell how? It’s not that hard. My hat is off to you, you crazy Internet madman! 

Cinema Sins Does Sin City, a Video So Sinful We All Might Be Going to Hell

This week sees the release of Sin City: A Dame to Kill For. Will it succeed, like the original Sin City? Or will it be just another 300: Rise of an Empire? Waiting a decade for you sequels rarely works out.

But you better believe I’m buying my ticket and seeing that film this weekend! I’m hoping for the best!

Today Feels Like an Expendable Kind of Day

I don’t particularly care for The Expendables franchise, but gosh darn it, I love the attitude behind it. The idea of getting together all of the classic action movie stars in one franchise is just the bee’s knees. And today, being the random Thursday of my week off from work, it feels like an Expendables kind of day!

Check out the Honest Trailer for The Expendables.

And then as a real treat, check out Expendables: The Musical by legolambs. These guys are geniuses and this is one of their best.

That song gets me pumped for the rest of my day of lounging around doing nothing!

———————