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In Which I Rank All of the 2023 Oscars Best Picture Nominees
I’m a big movie guy. I love watching movies. I love talking about movies. I love sharing trailers on this blog. And I write a movie review column for my day job newspaper, as well as host a movie review podcast for the paper. Do you listen to Sentinel Cinema? You should! It’s me! Talking about movies!
Anyway, for my podcast, I put in the effort and watched all 10 Best Picture nominees for this year’s Oscars, which are airing tonight. I think I’ve only done this once before. Ten movies is a lot when more than half of them are obscure indie films that don’t get played in my local theaters. Since I went to all that trouble, I figure I might as well share my thoughts on this blog as well.
So without further adieu, I will rank all 10 movies from my least favorite to my best favorite. This is not a ranking of what movies I think will win. Or what movies are the best movies, cinemagraphically speaking. These are just my personal taste in these films.
10. Tár
This is definitely not my kind of movie. I’m a bit of a philistine, and I’m slowly discovering that I just don’t care for arthouse, indie films that appeal to cinema snobs. Cate Blanchett gives a fine performance, I’m sure, but that’s just not something I notice or pay much attention to when I’m watching a movie. This one is long and a bit ponderous, and apparently full of ghosts? At least if the internet is to be believe, when I Googled the movie afterwards to figure out what it all meant.
9. The Banshees of Inisherin
Also not my kind of movie. I’ve been hit and miss with McDonagh brother movies, and Banshees was a miss for me. I understood the metaphor, and they did a fine job telling the story they wanted to tell, with characters that could be understood and were sometimes funny. But almost none of it really worked for me as an entertaining thing to watch.
8. Elvis
This was an OK film. Definitely worked as a biopic for a person I don’t know anything about. And I typically enjoy Baz Luhrmann movies. But I don’t have any particular interest in Elvis Presley, so it wasn’t that catching of a movie for me. Just a good, solid, sometimes very weird story about this poor man and the treatment he went through, despite being the King of Rock and Roll.
7. Triangle of Sadness
I had no idea what this movie was before I started watching, and it turned out to be largely entertaining and sometimes funny. I like dark humor as much as the next person. I had no idea where this movie was going, and each new twist was very interesting. The satire works, the characters work and I was mildly entertained.
6. All Quiet on the Western Front
Just a well-made, very bleak war movie. I liked the character progression, I liked the realism of the war scenes. But it’s just a gruesome movie about how war is hell. We all know it, and I suppose it’s important to keep teaching that lesson. But this was a lot to handle.
5. The Fabelmans
Steven Spielberg knows how to make entertaining movies, and he makes an entertaining semi-autobiography. It goes on a bit too long, and isn’t as deeply effecting as some of his films, but it tells a fine story with a lot of really well-developed characters. And I like its lessons about the importance of film and the magic of filmmaking.
4. Women Talking
This one really surprised me by how much I liked it. I put off watching this movie because of its indie, arthouse nature. But I finally got around to seeing it and this one was really damn good. The subject matter is obviously important, and what really stands out is how engaging and compelling they make what is essentially just a long, ongoing conversation/argument.
3. Avatar: The Way of Water
I liked this movie just fine. The CGI was spectacular, obviously, and it was fun to watch in 3D. But much like the first Avatar, the story and characters are not that memorable in the long run. I think this one will have just as little cultural impact as the first one, despite making all that money.
2. Top Gun: Maverick
Great damn movie! Action-packed, with fun characters and a solid story. The practical special effects, with cameras and actors in real planes, was a definite highlight of the entire 2022 film release schedule. If Marvel wants to keep their audience, they should take lessons from Top Gun: Maverick. This is what we want to see, not big, CGI landscapes. Kudos to that weirdo, Tom Cruise, for single-handedly carving out his own successful corner of Hollywood.
1. Everything Everywhere All At Once
A once in a lifetime masterpiece that excels in every aspect of filmmaking and storytelling. This was my favorite movie of last year, and could be my favorite movie of the decade. Holy cow, this movie was so good and so cool. Rich, exciting characters; a wild story that lived up to its title; a cornucopia of emotions; a satisfying conclusion for everyone involved. I loved this movie, and it immediately joined my Top 5 favorite movies of all time. If EEAAO doesn’t win Best Picture, I will likely never trust the Oscars again.
And that’s my rundown of all 10 of this year’s Best Picture nominees! What did you think of the movies? Agree with my ranking? Completely disagree? Am I a fool? I like watching movies and I hope to do all 10 nominees again in the future.
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I Want Black Panther to Win the Oscar for Best Picture
Black Panther was one of eight movies nominated for the Best Picture Oscar this morning, and some people out there across the internet don’t think it deserves the nomination. I’m here to ask them and you: so what? Can’t we all just rally around a superhero movie to win Best Picture, regardless of quality? The Oscars are largely a joke anyway. Why can’t we come together to get this superhero movie win?
I loved Black Panther when it came out, though I will admit that my praise has probably waned since. But it’s still a solid, enjoyable movie that had a major cultural impact.
And it’s the first superhero movie to be nominated for Best Picture. Can’t that be enough? We all love superhero movie. We all love Marvel Studios movies. And none of us really super care about the Oscars. Can we not all just come together and root for the superhero movie to get the win?
Cast aside your demands that the Oscar for Best Picture truly go to the best movie from 2018. Are any of the eight nominees really the best movie? Are any of the front runners really so worthy of the award that they have to win? Surely Black Panther is better than at least some of them. It’s better than Green Book and Bohemian Rhapsody, surely.
And it’s not like the Oscars aren’t rigged or anything. It’s not like they’re some great noble event where only the purest and most worthy films are awarded. It’s all just a bunch of Academy idiots who don’t see all the movies voting on them anyway. The Oscars aren’t real.
So as comic book fans and superhero movie fans, let us set aside our lofty expectations for the purity of the Oscars and root for Black Panther to win big!
Though if I’m being honest, I’d probably go with BlacKkKlansmen to win Best Picture, and I haven’t seen Roma, A Star is Born or The Favourite yet. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse for Best Animated Feature for sure, but when it doesn’t win, then I’ll be vindicated in my claim that the Oscars aren’t real.
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