Hench-Sized Comic Book Reviews – 11/12/16

The biggest takeaway I’m going to have from this election is that I need to ramp up making awesome diverse comics. I’m a storyteller, and these are the stories I’m going to tell in whatever Hell soon awaits us. If you haven’t read Gamer Girl & Vixen yet, visit our website or hit me up for a free digital copy of the first issue! Our graphic novel will be out soon!

For now, regular comics will still sustain me. Lots of good comics this week, with some mediocre attempts thrown into the mix. Detective Comics is still a hoot, but Marvel isn’t really wowing me with new titles like Mosaic or Invincible Iron Man.

Fortunately, Power Man and Iron Fist starts a new story this week, and already it’s off to a great start! Comic Book of the Week!

What's with that lobster guy?

What’s with that lobster guy?

I also read the second issue of Clone Conspiracy in Dan Slott’s Spider-Man, but decided not to do a review. It’s a fine story so far, though I feel like Slott could be doing a lot more. So far, it’s pretty much just exposition with a bit of action thrown in. He hasn’t convinced me that this clone storyline is anything more than Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

But at least this issue saw the return of Kaine as the Scarlet Spider. Been missing that guy since Spider-Verse. Leave it to Slott to kill Prowler but resurrect Kaine in the same storyline. My fanboy heart can’t take it.

Comic Reviews: Detective Comics #944, Gotham Academy/Lumberjanes #6, Invincible Iron Man #1, Mosaic #2 and Power Man and Iron Fist #10.

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Doctor Octopus Should Have Gotten a New Body

Doctor Octopus is back from the dead in the pages of Clone Conspiracy, and I think they should have given him a new, studlier body. Chubby may be classic, but this is a new century. Spruce this guy up.

Makes quite the first impression

Makes quite the first impression

So I bet you’re wondering how Doc Ock is back from the dead, right? Well, this is where things get kind of weird and very comic booky. This is only Doctor Octopus by a weird stretch of comic book science. The ‘original’ Doctor Octopus died when he sacrificed his life at the end of Superior Spider-Man, the best writing of Dan Slott’s tenure on Spider-Man.

Before he died, and before he became the sort of man who would make a heroic sacrifice, Doc Ock made a digital copy of his brain and put it in computer storage to wake up in the event of his eventual death. This digital copy of Doc Ock spent a while in the Living Brain robot before he orchestrated the purchase of his original dead body by the Jackal, who used his new cloning technique to make a new Doc Ock body.

But rather than the usual cloned pod person mind taking control of the body, the digital doctor invaded the brain and took over.

So Doctor Octopus is now the combination of a cloned body and a digital brain scan from before he died. Such are comics.

He even went back to the old, dumb costume

He even went back to the old, dumb costume

I bring this up because, in my opinion, Marvel should have mad Doctor Octopus hotter.

As you can see from the pictures, his cloned body is the same chubby Doc Ock we’ve always known, with the same dumb bowl cut hairstyle. If you’re cloning a body, even rapidly cloning the body, why would it have that haircut? And since Doc Ock is a master of switching brains, why not have the Jackal produce him a genetically manipulated slender/muscular body?

I bring all this up not just because I want a svelte, sexy Doc Ock, but because body image was a major aspect of Superior Spider-Man. Slott spent a lot of time playing with the fact that Doc Ock went from that old, chubby body to the young, muscular body of Spider-Man. For the first time, he was handsome and in shape, and this was a huge boost to Otto’s self-confidence. He even got an awesome girlfriend!

Anna Maria Marconi is the best new Spider-Man character since Phil Urich

Anna Maria Marconi is the best new Spider-Man character since Phil Urich

In the story where this digital doctor came back, he even remarked how he wanted to just take over Peter Parker’s body again because it’s an awesome body.

So with all of that build-up, why throw it away just to go back to the classic Doctor Octopus?

Granted, making him a younger, fitter Doc Ock with better hair reeks of pandering. But in this instance, it would work for the story and the character. Otto had a taste of being young, handsome and fit, and I would think he would want that again when cloning a new body.

Yes, everybody loves classic Doctor Octopus, but for the sake of the story and his character growth, I think Marvel should have cloned him a slimmer, younger body, and he should have given himself a better haircut. If he wants to win back Anna Maria, looking handsome would be a good first step — not that she’d take him back, she’s not that shallow, but still.

Considering Spider-Man’s long history of romance, Otto Octavius and Anna Maria Marconi is the best love story Spidey comics have seen in years.

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Hooray, the New Scarlet Spider is Back!

So I’ve noticed for awhile now that I’ve been slacking in my blogging. I post a List of Six on Wednesdays and comic book reviews on Saturdays, and then pretty much just Youtube videos every other day. That’s no way to blog! That’s no way to Internet! I haven’t gone on a good rant in awhile. Or written something just for the fun of it.

Well that’s hopefully going to change. I need to take back this space and have some actual fun with it. And from now on, that’s going to include just some quick, fun posts about my pop culture thoughts. I don’t need to do full length movie reviews for everything I see; a quick review is good too. And when something happens in comics that I like, I should mention that too!

For example, as the headline suggests, Kaine is back!

Sorry for the spoilers

Sorry for the spoilers

I used to do full length reviews of the Scarlet Spider series back in the day because I’m a huge fan of the character. Then he was killed in Spider-Verse and that was sad. Well time heals all comic book wounds, and Kaine returned in the second issue of Clone Conspiracy this week!

This is just fun news.

I’m not going to spoil too much of Clone Conspiracy for anybody. Just gonna say that Kaine seems to be doing something heroic, and that’s pretty cool. I hope writer Dan Slott has some fun plans for him.

That's our Kaine!

That’s our Kaine!

To explain why I care, the original Clone Saga in the 1990s was my first real entry into comics. I started out reading the leftovers from when my dad collected in the 60s and 70s, but the 90s was when my brother and I really dove in for ourselves, and Spider-Man was our entry point. We loved the Clone Saga, and especially loved Ben Reilly, the original Scarlet Spider. Kaine was cool too.

Flash forward to now, and while Ben died a long time ago, Kaine continues to be an ever-evolving character who is actually a pretty cool guy. He’s this jerk clone of Peter Parker who still has spider-powers and is trying to sort of do some good with his life. He’s like Spider-Man’s jackass cousin, and is definitely the best lasting effect from the original Clone Saga.

So yeah, Kaine is back in Spider-Man comics. I like that.

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My 6 Favorite Post-Apocalypses

Welp, that’s finally over and it looks like the world is still in one piece. At least we have that to look forward to for the next four or eight years. And no matter which way you voted or which candidate you supported, odds are someone out there is pretty sure the world is over right now.

So how about a list of apocalypses?

There are all kinds!

There are all kinds!

Surviving in the post-apocalypse is a very common setting for entertainment. We’ve got movies, cartoons, video games, songs, books, comics, probably some poems. There’s a metric ton of this sort of thing. And seeing as how half the country (if not the world) is in an apocalyptic sort of mood today, I’ve decided to run down my favorites! Join me after the jump!

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Wonder Woman Will Protect Us On Election Day

Today’s the big day, America! Let’s do it to it and vote and stuff. I guess. I don’t know about you, but I’d much prefer just to watch videos where the new Wonder Woman movie trailers are synced up to the classic Wonder Woman TV show theme song!

Kudos to Sebastian Hughes for making it happen. This stuff is just super fun!

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