Advertisements

Blog Archives

Let’s Mess Around with Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

Unfortunately, the sequel to Jurassic World was not called The Lost Park: Jurassic World. The movie will never live that down. But how about also never living down the…

Honest Trailer:

And the How It Should Have Ended:

In the end, we’ll all forget this movie until the next one comes out, then it will just serve as a middle movie that nobody particularly cares about in the end. Made a lot of money, though.

———————

Advertisements

Time to Go Watch Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom!

I’mma gonna head to the movie theater after getting off work today to go see Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. I still think that’s a terrible name. Fallen Kingdom? What sort of subtitle is that? Honestly, they should have gone with Jurassic World: The Lost Park.

Thanks to Honest Trailers for giving me funny videos to post when I’m feeling lazy and figure everybody could use a fun laugh!

———————-

The Lost Park: Jurassic World is Starting to Look Dumb

Fyi, I refuse to use the title Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. What a dumb name. Why not stick to classic Jurassic Park movie naming conventions? The original sequel was The Lost World: Jurassic Park. So this sequel should be The Lost Park: Jurassic World.

Whatever the name is, a new trailer arrived yesterday and it looks super dumb!

First of all, the trailer spoils everything we’d already been told about the movie. When the first trailer came out, everybody assured us that the trailer didn’t give away the movie — only for this trailer to give it all away. And it looks dumb! And Jeff Goldblum is probably only in one single scene and probably never interacts with the new characters.

But it’s still probably going to make a ton of money.

Jurassic Park is the only really great dinosaur franchise. Why focus on making weird genetically altered super dinosaurs? That just turns them into general kaiju movie monsters and not simply dinosaurs!

———————

I Missed the Jurassic World 2 Trailer Last Week

While I was away on vacation, I missed the first trailer for Jurassic World 2, which is gonna be called Fallen Kingdom. I am hugely disappointed that it’s not going to be called The Lost Park: Jurassic World. We just can’t have nice things.

It’s still weird to think that the first Jurassic World is the fourth highest grossing movie of all time. How did it make that much money?! Are people really that enamored with Jurassic Park as a franchise? I mean, dinosaurs are awesome, but really?

This trailer looks OK. Just OK. Everybody running alongside CGI dinosaurs from a volcano? Sure, why not. And I think I agree with everybody else on the Internet that Jeff Goldblum is going to have a 2 second cameo.

————————-

Jurassic World Wasn’t that Great, You Guys

Honestly. It was OK when I saw it, but in hindsight, it’s going downhill.

Honest Trailers nailed it with this video. So many perplexing questions and issues! But a movie like Jurassic World isn’t about logic, darn it! It’s about dinosaurs! Which again begs the question of why there aren’t more dinosaur movies. Does the Jurassic franchise own dinosaurs, or something?

——————

%d bloggers like this: