Blog Archives
I Don’t Like Anything About Wish
It’s one of those Mondays where I don’t have anything to share, but I want to post something, so I’m digging up this trailer from a week or two ago for the upcoming animated Disney movie Wish. I don’t like Wish. I don’t like these trailers. I don’t like the characters, the jokes or, especially, the talking goat. Alan Tudyk is a national treasure…but man, I hate his talking goat.
The premise seems OK…but also really crummy. Gah. I don’t like how I hate everything about this trailer. The main character, Asha, seems like she was written by committee looking to make the human equivalent of ‘plucky’. The villain seems pretty dull. I’m not entirely sure what’s even happening in the story. And the talking goat is such a ‘talking animal sidekick’ cliche to the max, and I hate the talking animal sidekick cliche with a passion.
But it’s Monday, and I wanted to share something, so mission accomplished. Wish is coming to theaters sometime around Thanksgiving.
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I Like the Look of Elio
I went and saw Elemental this weekend and I liked it. The film is cute and it won me over in the end. I don’t think it’s a great film or anything that’s going to fix Pixar’s recent losing streak, but it was a fine watch. It was also as predictable as I feared it would be based on the trailers, and a lot of the logistics of its world really annoyed me.
Why do you have chain link fences? Because the animators put them in the movie, that’s why. Jeez.
Anyway, Pixar’s next film is Elio, which is a bad title for what looks like a fun film.
I think this looks neat. It’s not as predictable, I don’t think. Lotta weird and funny stuff could happen out in space to this kid. That “Uh, Earth” joke is stale as hell and has been done a bajillion times, but that’s fine. Surely that’s not going to be indicative of a bad script overall. This looks cute.
Also, what’s up with Pixar/Disney animated films and these one-word titles? There are so many interesting titles that could come from this wild, sci-fi alien premise, but they just go with the kid’s name? Heck, “Uh, Earth” would have been a better title.
Anyway, we can expect Elio in March, 2024.
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Disney: The Last Wish
Disney Animation has revealed their first look at their next movie, Wish, which I think is about the magic of Disney making a wish upon a star. Just like how Puss in Boots made a wish upon a star?! I kid. But so far, this teaser looks pretty generic. Heroin, villain, animal sidekick.
They even included the little star dude from the Mario movie!
Still kidding. Anyway, I’m a big fan of Disney animation in recent years. Encanto was great! I don’t remember what they did after Encanto…oh right, Strange World! Yeah, Strange World was fine. So we’re just gonna have to hope — rightfully so — that Wish will also be fine. That’s my hope, at least. Or perhaps it’s my…wish?
Anyway, Wish comes to theaters on Nov. 22.
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Pixar’s Elemental Looks Pretty Bland
The next Pixar film is called Elemental, and we got the first full trailer today. It clearly looks like a movie where someone said “what if elements had feelings”. And then they whipped together a pretty bland and basic script about love interests from different families getting together, despite being told that their kinds don’t mix.
Elemental looks really, really bland. The two main characters look bland. Their families look bland. Their conflict looks bland. Their world looks bland. Why make a joke about chain link fences not mattering to elements? Why not make a world so amazing that it doesn’t need chain link fences? Why not do something that actually involves elements instead of just using them as unnecessary metaphors?
I dunno. I’m not a Pixar filmmaker. But Elemental is what they’re sending to theaters on June 16.
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The Little Mermaid Movie Looks Wild
We finally got our first, full trailer for the live action Disney Little Mermaid movie, and it looks wild. I think the CGI just looks slightly off, in both Ariel and in the talking animals, like Sebastian the crab. The rest of the movie looks fine, maybe. Disney hasn’t proven themselves very successful at these live action adaptations.
But hey, what do I know? Maybe people love The Little Mermaid so much that this will be fine. I’m just saying that things look pretty wonky in this first big trailer.
The Little Mermaid comes to theaters on May 26.
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Henchman-4-Hire 