Review: Teen Titans #22

I think Teen Titans #22 is where the series finally loses its mind. It’s jumped the shark. There is only the insane ramblings of a madman who has too much else to worry about, and can no longer be bothered to tell an even partially coherent story. Scott Lobdell is off writing both Superman comics. He’s got a lot on his plate. So clearly when it came time to write Teen Titans #22, he simply went off the deep end. Everything he may have learned in story-telling school has gone right out the window.

Teen Titans #22

Unprecedented recap page. The Deus ex Machina Squad. Trigon quitting. Evil Red Robin defeated off-panel. It’s all just so…so…lame.

Comic Rating: 2/10 – Very Bad.

On the one hand, the comic is comprehensible. I know what’s happening, I can understand what’s intended. But on the other hand, every other aspect of this comic is a wreck. It’s given up all pretense of being about the characters, and is instead just a rambling befuddlement of stuff that’s happening to a random, somewhat familiar group of superheroes. There’s no cohesion anymore. Issues don’t flow together. Characters are nothing more than colorful bodies who spout painful dialogue, and do what is required of them by the writer. Plot threads are dropped or dismissed seemingly at random, with only a little hand-waving to explain them away. While other plot threads just pop up out of nowhere and make no sense in the larger series.

Nothing matters anymore. Nothing. No friendships, no relationships, no idea of teamwork or why they’re even doing this. The Teen Titans are a train wreck. And the worst part is that they will now always be a train wreck.

Remember, there are no previous versions of the Titans. There is no long legacy of Teen Titans to fall back on anymore, not in the New 52 universe. It’s just Red Robin and this band of idiot misfits grouped together for the sake of hanging a series on. And it’s garbage, pure garbage. I’m pretty sure this book is surviving on name recognition alone at this point. But if it keeps going like this, Teen Titans isn’t going to have a name to bank on anymore.

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I’ll Pretty Much Post Anything in LEGO

The Wolverine comes out this weekend, and to prepare, how about you watch one of the trailers remade entirely in LEGO?

My hat is always off to the brave LEGO animators who put something like this together. It just looks like a ton of fun. If I had any skill whatsoever in anything other than poking my chubby fingers into a keyboard, I would make one myself.

6 Things I Want From the Batman/Superman Movie

Holy cow, Comic-Con International was FULL of movie news this past weekend! Age of Ultron, Guardians of the Galaxy, Days of Future Past, Godzilla, Hunger Games; it was a madhouse of movie news, spoilers and trailers! We haven’t seen a lot of those trailers yet, but the descriptions online have been stunning. Us movie geeks are in for a good couple of years. But I think the biggest, coolest surprise announcement was that the sequel to Man of Steel is going to be a team-up between Superman and Batman!

And even though I didn’t like Man of Steel, I’m nothing if not a sucker, and I can appreciate the wonderful excitement of a Batman/Superman team-up movie just as much as the next guy! I’m not made of stone, people!

2015 is gonna be a wild year

Meanwhile, the Justice League movie has been pushed back to 2017, if it even happens. Frequent readers of my site might remember that I had absolutely no confidence in DC and Warner Bros. to make a Justice League movie by 2015. But that didn’t stop me from making a list similar to this one, and a Batman/Superman team-up was my #4 choice for what I’d want to see in a Justice League movie. So seeing DC simply do this film first is a very cool turn of events. It fills me with…something close to hope. But DC has messed up their superhero movies before. I didn’t like Superman Returns, I didn’t like Man of Steel and I didn’t like Green Lantern. So if DC wants to finally make me happy (and I’m sure they do), here are my six suggestions for the Batman/Supermean movie.

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My Little Pony arrives on Xbox Marketplace

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic avatar items are now on sale for Xbox Live Arcade. Rainbow Dash is the only available “Pet,” shown above, but more are sure to come!

Turtle Van Doing Its Turtle Thing

So Michael Bay’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movie is in full-on production, with set photos floating all around the web. I haven’t been following this movie very closely, and I’m not sure why. Ninja Turtles was probably my favorite cartoon as a kid, and I wasn’t too miffed when the Michael Bay camp said his turtles were going to be aliens. It’s stupid, but I can be forgiving. We preach peace and tolerance here at Henchman-4-Hire.

The truth is I simply don’t want to clog down my blog with pictures of Megan Fox or guys in motion-capture turtle suits. Neither of those things is legitimately interesting to look at. However, a new photo surfaced today that I just had to share! Because if there’s one thing I’ll definitely post on my blog, it’s pictures of the Turtle Van!

We all wish we had one

Or as some of you might know it, the Party Wagon. I like it.  Though how are they supposed to drive with the window blocked up like that? And would it have killed them to make a 100% accurate version of the cartoon Turtle Van? That thing would be boss! I like that the movie is actually including the Turtle Van. I have no idea what to expect from this upcoming film. Will it be any good? Does it even need to be good to succeed? Clearly people pay tons to go see the crappy Transformers sequels.