The 6 Greatest Long Lost Toylines
Ladies, brace yourselves, because you’re reading the blog of a 30-year-old man who still collects action figures. Oh yes, oh yes. Take a few breaths if your hearts are fluttering too much. But I kid. I love toys. They’re such a wonderfully wacky and colorful part of our world.
And I only sometimes take my action figures down off the shelf to play battles with them.
No school like the old school
But not every toyline is as successful as the Transformers or LEGO. And not every toy can stay popular like the Ninja Turtles or superheroes. Sometimes, in this unfair world of ours, some truly great toys are lost to the ages. I’m as much a fan of nostalgia as the next person, so what say we spend an afternoon reminiscing about the great toys of our youth and wondering where it all went wrong! Join me after the jump for my six favorite childhood toys!
So Many New Comics!
Apparently the time has come for Marvel and DC to start announcing new comics for the Fall. DC has a slew of new titles, while Marvel is relaunching Captain America yet again – but this time with a pretty big twist!
In All-New Captain America #1, Rick Remender will be writing about a new hero taking over Captain America’s mantle. Apparently in the latest Cap stories, the Super Soldier Serum has been pulled out of him, leaving Cap as a 90-year-old man stuck in a hospital bed. He’ s still as sharp as ever, and determined to be a leader, but it’s time for someone new to take on the mantle.
Let it be Cyclops!
Remender had this to say about Cap:
“He’s a man in his 90s now without the frame or physical strength, but that doesn’t mean he’s out of the fight. He’s basically orchestrating things and playing tactician, fighting against Zola, using his friends in the Avengers to try and do so. He’s waging a war from a room rather than the front lines, which is new for Steve. There might be some shuffle boarding in his future. I do like the idea of giving Steve a bit of a break once the new Cap steps up and takes the mantle for a while. Steve’s going to continue to play a role in the series as mentor and tactician and eye in the sky, running ops and things. He’s got all of his faculties and is still the super soldier he earned the right to be called; he just lacks the physical form.”
Obviously Steve Rogers will return to the role of Captain America before too long. Probably in time for the Avengers next year, or his next movie. Hopefully Remender will get an awesome story out of the change, like Ed Brubaker did when he had Bucky take over as Captain America for awhile, or when Dan Slott wrote about Doctor Octopus taking over as Spider-Man. Both were great comics.
I haven’t been reading the series, so I don’t know who’s in the running to be the replacement, but Bleeding Cool has a pretty good idea. Don’t click if you don’t want to be spoiled…though it’ll probably be spoiled on the Internet at large before too long.
Bleeding cool also seems convinced that a Spider-Woman and an Ant-Man comic are on the way. The latter one is guaranteed, considering the movie. And if it really is drawn by Chris Samnee, then count me in thricefold!
Meanwhile, DC Comics is doubling down on titles that will surely be cancelled within the year. First there was Arkham Manor and Gotham Academy announced a few weeks ago, which I foolishly forgot to write about. The latter of the two might actually be pretty neat, considering Becky Cloonan is writing. I’m pretty sure she’s awesome.
Then DC announced yesterday a new series called Trinity of Sin starring Pandora, Phantom Stranger and the Question.
She’s missing her fedora
I have no idea what would possibly compel DC to publish this comic. For some reason, they still seem to think that anybody cares about Pandora. I don’t think anybody has ever cared about Pandora. And it didn’t help when the big reveal of Pandora’s Box and the Trinity War turned out to be nothing but a prologue to Forever Evil. The big secret behind the New 52 was nothing but a prologue!
Is anybody reading the Pandora or Phantom Stranger comics? Not that every comic needs to be about Batman, but these characters are just so boring! And I can’t imagine DC doing anything interesting with their new cosmic version of the Question. That may be my least favorite New 52 character revamp.
There’s an interview with writer J.M. DeMatteis at that link. I can’t bring myself to care enough to search through it for a good quote. Nothing against the guy, I know he’s a great writer, but I can’t imagine there’s one iota of interest in this comic from the reader community.
The other DC trainwreck is going to be Lobo, by Cullen Bunn, starring that new Lobo DC created that everybody either hates or forgot existed.
A gun and a sword? He must be cool!
Remember him? I do, barely. What I remember most is that everybody hated the design. And when I read his comic, I was completely underwhelmed. And that was, what, a year ago? Why didn’t they give Lobo a comic back then? Why wait all this time? Were they specifically waiting for everyone to lose interest in a character they never liked in the first place?
Is my bias showing through? I’m excited for what Marvel has to offer, and I’m pretty sure DC are still just throwing crap at the wall and hoping something sticks.
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Guardians of the Galaxy Just Gets Better Every Day!
New extended trailer for Guardians of the Galaxy reminds us all why we can’t wait to see this movie! Is it August yet?
What more is there to say? That trailer is amazing! The extended scene of banter towards the end is utterly delightful! Everything about this movie just looks so much fun.
Arrow Keeps Piling Them On
At least two more comic book heroes will be joining the TV show Arrow next season: the Atom and Katana! I’m excited to see Arrow continue to give us quality DC cameos, though neither one of them is on my list of hopefuls. The Atom is a pretty big deal, being a solid member of the Justice League. In fact, beyond the Flash and Black Canary, this is our fourth Justice Leaguer in this TV universe. And Katana has a special connection to the Green Arrow in Jeff Lemire’s current comic storyline, The Others. Both represent different weapon clans, the Sword and Arrow clans, respectively. Maybe that will come up, though I kind of doubt it.
The Atom will be played by Brandon Routh.
Routh, of course, both started and stopped his career playing Superman in Superman Returns. Poor guy. He was darn good in the third season of Chuck, and in Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. According to the news, Ray Palmer will be the new owner of Queen Consolidated, so he’s gonna be a businessman with a focus on the applied sciences division. Will he be shrinking? Who knows!
Maybe DC is trying to get their shrinking superhero onto screens before Ant-Man next July. You know what…that’s probably exactly it!
Katana will be played by Devon Aoki.
Aoki starred in Sin City as a badass sword-wielding warrior woman, a role she’ll hopefully fill in Arrow too! Apparently she’s going to be a contact of Oliver’s in the Hong Kong flashbacks, though like with Deathstroke, she’ll hopefully show up in the present day too.
I’m perfectly happy with these castings. Arrow is one of my favorite shows right now, and I look forward to more comic book characters popping up! Everyone except Nightwing, though.
Stop the Universe, There Are Glorious Forces at Work Here
Theologians will be debating the existence of a higher power until the end of time. But this weekend, I received evidence that there is indeed a greater power at work here. And apparently, they’re watching me.
It is as if the universe coalesced into a single item that now exists solely for me. I can perceive no other reason why this toy exists other than some cosmic force peered into my brain and made it a reality.
How else can you explain Hasbro making a legitimate, fully transforming action figure of Dispensor, the Mountain Dew Transformer from the first movie.
Do the Dew!
I’m speechless. Both because of the awesomeness of this toy and out of fear that someone really is reading my thoughts. Why else would Hasbro make a Dispensor action figure seven years after the first movie came out?! He was on the screen for 10 seconds! And it’s not like he’s some new commercial tie-in.
They changed the name from ‘Mountain Dew’ to ‘Mood Whiplash’ on the toy, so it’s not like Hasbro is getting any advertising money.
Dew It, To It!
So why make this action figure unless someone had recently read my List of the 6 Most Underrated Movie Transformers!? Dispensor is #1 on that list! But I only wrote that list a week ago! Someone knew in advance how much this character makes me giggle! His mere existence is cause for such giddiness!
And now he’s a real toy!
What are you trying to tell me, universe?! That you’re listening to me, you’re really listening? Well then, message received! Loud and clear!
Henchman-4-Hire 