Category Archives: Video Games
6 Classic Video Games That Need Modern, R-Rated Cartoons
In these virus-ridden times, the only thing we all have to look forward to is crashing on our various couches and binging Netflix. I recently finished the latest season of the Castlevania cartoon, and it was awesome! Great character work, fun and clever writing, glorious animation and an eye-popping amount of Hard-R-Rated gore and more. They went all out with this cartoon.
Go ahead and binge all three seasons while you’re in quarantine!
So let’s kill some time in our new virus reality by daydreaming about other modern, Hard-R-Rated versions of classic video games. Why not? What do we have to lose? Sure, some of these could be turned into goofy, kid-friendly cartoons. But I want more total badasses kicking butt and being hardcore! That’s the sort of world we deserve. That’s the kind of world we should live in!
Join me after the jump for six classic video games that I think should get the modern Castlevania cartoon treatment! Life will just be more fun that way.
How About a Blood-Soaked Mortal Kombat Cartoon?
Mortal Kombat Legends: Scorpion’s Revenge comes out next month and they’ve decided to entice us with a blood-soaked new trailer! Let the cartoon blood flow!
This movie looks interesting…to an extent. It’s weird how the first half of the trailer is all about a cool Scorpion origin story…and then the second half switches over to Liu Kang and company. It’s like the movie wants us to think it’s all Scorpion all the time…but it’s probably just another retelling of the same old Liu Kang story again.
Which is doubly weird, because aren’t we supposed to get a new live action Mortal Kombat movie soon? And won’t that movie probably also focus on Liu Kang’s story in the first tournament? Why do MK producers keep going back to that story? Surely we’re all bored of it by now?
If you had to choose between Scorpion and Liu Kang, I think 99% of us would choose Scorpion.
Or better yet, Sub-Zero! Like this write-up I did last year on my idea for a Mortal Kombat movie! It’s time we leave Liu Kang, Sonya Blade and that third guy in the dust! Focus on the actually interesting characters! You’re already most of the way there with Scorpion’s Revenge!
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6 Things I Want to See in a Sonic the Hedgehog Sequel
Gotta go fast! The Sonic the Hedgehog movie is here and I didn’t like it! I had some cautious optimism going into the film, but that proved to be utterly misplaced. This was a dumb, cliche, by-the-numbers film where a hapless white male becomes best friends with a CGI version of a classic cartoon character. It wasn’t Sonic the Hedgehog so much as it was Hop 2.
One would argue, he’s already going fast
But I’m a pretty solid fan of Sonic lore, especially in my youth. I loved the games, I watched most of the cartoons, and I would definitely be open to a sequel that delved more into the lore. And knowing my luck, Sonic the Hedgehog is going to become a huge hit and lead to a bunch of squeakquels. That’s how the world works and I might as well embrace the stupidity of it all.
So join me after the jump for what I would want to see happen in a Sonic the Hedgehog movie sequel! Expect FULL SPOILERS for the movie.
They’re Going All In With an Animated Mortal Kombat Movie, Apparently
I just heard of this movie and I think it’s rather silly. The people behind Mortal Kombat are coming out with a new straight-to-DVD animated film called Mortal Kombat Legends: Scorpion’s Revenge. I think the idea is pretty cool, but the execution looks tame.
From that trailer, it looks like they’re just going to do the first Mortal Kombat tournament all over again. How many times do we need this event portrayed? Why does everybody think that’s the most interesting story in Mortal Kombat lore? Hell, the title of the film is about Scorpion, and he seems to be a major player in the movie…why not just do that?
Do the people behind Mortal Kombat really think we care about Liu Kang, Johnny Cage and Sonya Blade? When you’ve got a cool story like that of Scorpion vs. Sub-Zero, why would anybody want Liu Kang to show up?
Last year, I did my own write-up on a plot for a Mortal Kombat movie, one that focused on the second Sub-Zero. He’s a far more interesting character with a far more interesting story than any of the regular Earth realmers. Just putting it out there!
Scorpion’s Revenge comes out this spring.
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Resident Evil 3 Remake is Another Game I’ll Probably Not Play
I have been weighing my desire to play the Resident Evil 2 remake since it came out a year ago. The original Resident Evil 2 was one of my first must-play video games back when I finally joined the Playstation generation. But even as the RE2 remake goes on sale, I can’t bring myself to buy it and relive the memories!
And the same is likely to happen with the just-announced Resident Evil 3 remake!
I loved Resident Evil 3 just as much as RE2 back in the day! But man…something about these games is keeping me at arm’s length. At least it looks good!
Meanwhile, in other video game news, it’s only been two weeks since my list of my most anticipated games of the year came out…and already half of them have been delayed. Cyberpunk 2077, Avengers and the Final Fantasy VII remake have all been pushed back to the fall. So perhaps I’ll have plenty of time to finally play that RE2 remake…
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Henchman-4-Hire 