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Sonic the Hedgehog Doing a Thing

So I’ve been pretty lost in the drudgery of self-isolation these days. I wake up, work from home for a couple hours, nap on the couch watching YouTube in the afternoon, maybe play a boring video game, watch a show. It’s weird. But I like the idea of still posting on this blog and sharing fun content from around the internet. So here’s How It Should Have Ended: Sonic the Hedgehog.

Fun stuff. These people know what they’re doing and they do it well. I hope quarantine is going well for all these cartoon internet creators. Though they’ve got to be on the verge of running out of new movies to parody…so they’ll probably just go back and find old movies they’ve never done before. There will be no end to the movies to parody!

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6 Things I Want to See in a Sonic the Hedgehog Sequel

Gotta go fast! The Sonic the Hedgehog movie is here and I didn’t like it! I had some cautious optimism going into the film, but that proved to be utterly misplaced. This was a dumb, cliche, by-the-numbers film where a hapless white male becomes best friends with a CGI version of a classic cartoon character. It wasn’t Sonic the Hedgehog so much as it was Hop 2.

SONIC_INTL_J_CARREY_FORWARD_RUN_DGTL_1_SHT_UK.indd

One would argue, he’s already going fast

But I’m a pretty solid fan of Sonic lore, especially in my youth. I loved the games, I watched most of the cartoons, and I would definitely be open to a sequel that delved more into the lore. And knowing my luck, Sonic the Hedgehog is going to become a huge hit and lead to a bunch of squeakquels. That’s how the world works and I might as well embrace the stupidity of it all.

So join me after the jump for what I would want to see happen in a Sonic the Hedgehog movie sequel! Expect FULL SPOILERS for the movie.

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The New Sonic the Hedgehog Redesign is Here!

The world came together in one voice this summer, declaring that the Sonic the Hedgehog movie design was hideous and everything wrong with the world. Welp, the movie studio went back to the drawing board and have returned a redesigned hedgehog that looks more like the video game.

The design is better. The movie still looks really dumb.

Someday I hope we get the Citizen Kane of cartoon animal meets real people movies. This looks like the next installment of the Chipmunk movies. But God help me, I’m probably still gonna see it.

Sonic the Hedgehog comes out on Feb. 14.

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Dread It. Run From It. Sonic the Hedgehog Trailer Still Arrives.

Oh man, this defies description. You’re just going to have to watch it for yourself and be amazed at the Sonic the Hedgehog live action trailer. Are people really still making movies that look this terrible in 2019?

I don’t even know where to start! The Sonic CGI is worse than we imaged when we saw those pictures. Doctor Robotnik is worse than we could have imagined. The human characters seem worse than we could have imagined. The humor is worse than we could have imagined.

Oh my God this looks terrible!

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My 6 Favorite Villains Turned Heroes

I talk a lot on here about one of my favorite tropes in fiction: the Heel-to-Face Turn. Or, to drop the wrestling parlance, when a bad guy becomes a good guy. I just dig it for some reason. I like the idea that these villains, albeit bad people who do bad things, are still reasonable people who are capable of more than just playing their villainous role. When the chips are down, or when doing the right thing is on the line, these baddies turn out to be alright folk.

Heel Face List 01

The granddaddy of them all!

For counter example, I don’t particularly like the Joker. I know he’s probably the most popular super-villain in all of comics, and people adore this guy, but I just don’t really like him. I don’t like his straight crazy villainy. There’s little complexity to the character. He’s just crazy and he does crazy things; clever crazy things, sure, but still just crazy things. Count me out.

Give me a morally complex figure who can recognize the error of their ways or recognize the need to do the right thing in a given situation. Join me after the jump for my favorite Heel-to-Face Turns in all of fiction!

 

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