Category Archives: Video Games
The Day I Killed Hitler
Sniper Elite V2 casts you into the role of a rugged, chiseled, surprisingly well-coiffed sniper at the end of WW2. With an emphasis on stealth, long-range shootouts and setting traps, this game is beautifully detailed and far more satisfying than the majority of WW2 shooters I’ve played.
With a spring in your step and a song in your heart, you traipse through the rubble of Berlin with your trusty sniper rifle, utterly annihilating any opposition that stands in your way. Most of your kills will result in a slow-motion presentation that follows your bullet from the barrel of your gun on its merry journey into the body of the least-fortunate nazi in the world. This is combined with an x-ray display of exactly how horribly your victim died (in the same vein as Mortal Kombat 9), just before a score is presented on your screen, rating any given kill you make.
Being both English and Jewish, I can tell you that I always feel a bit of smug satisfaction when I blow a Nazi’s tonsils off, but it’s rare that a gaming system tells me how well I did at snuffing out his life. And while it might seem arbitrary and pointless to congratulate a player on the act of killing a nazi (an average gamer could kill fifty per day and still not find it worthy of boasting about), it’s an immensely satisfying feeling when I get a high score for a beautifully-rendered, often gruesome kill. It feels a bit like getting an outstanding mark on my report card, or winning a cheap prize at a boardwalk game booth.
The game plays smoothly, and the graphics for the PC version are extremely detailed. In all, you receive a very deep, gratifying gaming experience for your money, with only a few real gripes about it.
For one thing, almost every encounter ends in a firefight. And while that’s half the point with most WW2 shooters, it somehow feels as though you’ve failed as a sniper when the entire population of the Nazi Germany turns on you after your very first shot. And while the game offers you chances to conceal your activities while sniping (timing your shots with the explosions of bombs or the chimes of churchbells, for instance), you usually don’t have too much stealth to your advantage afterward. At this point it stops being about killing a specific target, and more about killing Everyone.
As you assassinate every Nazi in the world and deal with Soviet soldiers on your mission to kill a group of Nazi V2 Rocket scientists all by yourself, you get the distinct feeling that not only are you winning the War single-handedly, without an Ally in sight.
The multi-player experience allows for less stealth, as a team of two is far easier for the enemy to spot, but it’s nearly as satisfying as the single-player mode. Using teamwork and a shared hatred of nazis (but sadly no baseball bats), your partner takes the role of an anonymous, somewhat generic fellow soldier as the both of you engage in a wholesale slaughter of the Third Reich.
If you’ve beaten the campaign, however, and your craving for goose-stepping aryan blood isn’t sated, you can kill Hitler for a little extra in the game’s only current DLC.
Sniping Hitler sounds more satisfying than it is, however. For one thing, the DLC is single-player only, in the form of a Challenge-level. Here, you’re thrown into a parallel reality in which Der Handlebar arrives at a train station by motorcar, and you are there to take the shot that ends his life.
Your objective is to sneak to a vantage point before Hitler arrives, and snipe him on his way to the train. You’re spotted, however, and it becomes a Nazi shootout with the Fuhrer darting from one bit of cover to the next. Once you’ve killed every nazi in the level, Hitler rushes to the train itself, and you have a window of about five seconds to snipe him in mid-sprint.
Before I played this, I wasn’t sure if any game company could ever take the gratification out of the possibility of blowing Hitler’s moustache off, but Rebellion Games has succeeded. Killing Hitler is something that should be savoured. It’s something that you should take your time doing, and enjoy it as long as you can.
While I can appreciate that it’s a CHALLENGE map, the challenge should have been getting into position and getting away with killing the Nazi leader–not in the assassination, itself. This could have been done in any venue: Sneaking into a building overlooking one of Hitler’s speeches, or shooting him through the window of his estate, or a diner. The fact that he knows its coming and does everything he can to evade it completely eliminates the point.
As a game, I can’t recommend Sniper Elite V2 enough. Despite a few minor flaws, it’s an amazing romp through the second World War and I’m happy that I got to experience it.
As for the Kill Hitler DLC, there are two additional rifles that it offers aside from the three available in the Campaign mode that you may enjoy, and despite the linear, joyless method in which you have to complete the mission, you can still glean some satisfaction in killing the greatest monster of the 20th century.
I give the game 8/10, and the DLC 6/10.
Happy sniping!
Studio To Get Their Grubby Hands on Batman: Arkham Sequel
Or should I say prequel.
According to Variety, Warner Bros. is taking a firmer hand in the third part of the Batman: Arkham series. It’s going to be a prequel, and it’s going to tell the story of how Batman first met the Joker. Not only that, but it’s apparently going to include appearances by the Justice League.
F*** this.
According to that article, Warner Bros. has finally started to get their act together in preparation for a live action Justice League movie in 2015. And part of that process involves steering all of their existing properties towards that goal – including properties that are really popular and have nothing to do with a Justice League movie. Properties like the Batman: Arkham games.
You know what’s great about the Batman: Arkham games? That they’re not a tie-in to anything. Superhero movie tie in games suck. Sometimes they’re playable, like the Captain America movie tie in game, but most of the time they just flat out suck! The Batman Begins tie in game was terrible, especially compared to Batman: Arkham Asylum, which came out a short time later. Game developer Rocksteady had the freedom to create their own version of Batman on their own timetable, and not rush it out to stores in time for the movie’s release. Rocksteady has created this amazing world and story in their two Batman: Arkham games, and we all want to see that story continue.
Nobody wants to see a freakin’ prequel to the Arkham games! Nobody likes prequels! We want to know what happens next, not what happened before. Where does the story go from the end of Arkham City? Going back in time to tell a prequel accomplishes nothing! Rocksteady are on the verge of telling a Batman story that’s never been done before. What happens after the Joker is dead? That’s a fascinating question! Let Rocksteady tell that story! They already alluded to an angrier, more volatile Batman in their Harley Quinn’s Revenge DLC. So obviously something is wrong with Batman. Obviously Rocksteady has something good planned.
Damn prequels.
I’m less worried about the Justice League appearance. Based on my classic List of Six about what I want to see in the third Batman: Arkham game, cameos by the Justice League are on that list. I think it would be cool – but not like this.
Studio executives do not know how to be creative. That’s why they are studio executives and handle the money. Keep in mind, I have no real idea how studios work, but whenever a studio tries to mess around with a creative person’s project, they f*** it up! Do you know why Sam Raimi’s third Spider-Man movie was so bad? Because of the studio! After the success of the first two, where he had total creative control, the studio stepped in and started making demands. The studio demanded that Venom be in the movie because he was popular, but Raimi didn’t want Venom. The studio won that argument, and Spider-Man 3 sucked.
Personally, I think Raimi made a bad movie on purpose just to stick it to the studio.
Keep the studio heads away from the creative properties. Nothing good will come of it. Especially if they’re demanding that the next game tie in to their Justice League plans.
It will spell doom for us all.
6 Awesome Character Classes I Want in the Diablo 3 Expansion
One of the greatest video gaming regrets in my life is that I never beat the expansion pack to Diablo 2, call The Lord of Destruction. I beat normal Diablo 2 multiple times, but whenever I tried to play the new expansion level, something came up and I never made it very far, let alone to the final fight against Baal. And I loved Diablo 2, so I don’t know what my problem was!
For those of you who don’t know video games, expansion packs were sort of mini sequels to popular games, adding new content and new levels just for the fun of it. You started with the main game, and then a few months or years later, the developers would come out with an expansion and basically say, “We know you love our game, so here’s even more of it to play! Plus new characters! New accessories! Basically just a bunch of new stuff! Now where’s our money?”
We happily paid them.
The best things to come out of the Diablo 2 expansion pack were two new character classes: the Assassin and the Druid. I played as both, though the latter was my favorite. Not only could the Druid rain fiery meteors down upon his enemies, but he summoned wild animals to his side, and was both a werewolf and a werebear! He was totally boss!
So this got me thinking: When Diablo 3 releases its inevitable expansion pack, what new character classes might they add to the game? Just in case anyone at Blizzard reads my blog, I’ve decided to make a few suggestions. And yes, I’ve kind of stolen this list idea from GamesRadar. But it’s a fun list idea! Check out my suggestions (with some help from my girlfriend Alyssa) after the jump.
A Tribute to Wes Anderson
I saw Moonrise Kingdom over the weekend, and it was an amazing film! Definitely one of director Wes Anderson’s best. I would normally do a full movie review, but I’m not scholarly enough in the filmography arts to properly review something as deep as Moonrise Kingdom. Plus I’m trying to keep my blog more in the geeky pop culture realm. But suffice to say, Moonrise Kingdom was an awesome film and you should all go see it. The movie is sweet, adorable, and whimsical in that special Wes Anderson way. If you’ve seen his films, you know what I mean. If you haven’t, what are you waiting for?
There’s a special kind of happy melancholy in Anderson’s films. A sadness that doesn’t seem sad. A happiness that doesn’t seem all that happy. The humor is deadpan, but wonderful. And the characters, while not larger than life, inhabit a special world all to their own. There’s a magic in Wes Anderson’s filmmaking that is uniquely his own.
And Moonrise Kingdom has all of this. It’s the story of two young kids who fall into the 12-year-old equivalent of love, while living on a serene island off the coast of New England in the mid-1960s. And since both of them are outsiders and ‘troubled youths’, they decide to run away together – to the other side of the island. Meanwhile, the various grown-ups in their lives – as well as the coolest scout troop ever – must organize a search effort, while at the same time try to understand why these kids felt they need to run away.
I cannot recommend this movie enough. I wish more people in the world wanted to go see Moonrise Kingdom than Madagascar 3D.
In place of a full review, I’ve decided to share my favorite Wes Anderson movie parodies from across the Internet. I’ve collected these from different humor websites from different places, each of them wonderfully made and each of them really touching into that Wes Anderson style. I hope you enjoy!
Wes Anderson’s God of War
Wes Anderson’s The Amazing Spider-Man
Wes Anderson’s The Fantastic Mr. Star Fox
And again, please go see Moonrise Kingdom! If I didn’t love The Avengers so much, this would easily be the best film of the year so far.
Necromancer in Diablo 3?
Check out who makes a cameo in Diablo 3!
Why it’s our old pal the Necromancer from Diablo 2! He was part of a random occurrence/special event that I stumbled across in the desert in Act II the other night while playing on Nightmare Difficulty. Necromancer was my favorite class in Diablo 2, and the first class I used to beat that old game ten years ago. There have been a few Diablo 2 Easter Eggs in this new game that I’ve found (poor Warriv), and this one is so far the neatest.
He’s even got an army of skeletons walking about. The guy looks exactly like the Diablo 2 Necromancer class. I think he even references the previous character.
I just thought this was a neat little cameo to share with everybody. I’m still playing Diablo 3 and am highly enjoying it. And I do have a review coming – more than a month after the game was released. I’m not a big time fancy website, so my video game reviews have to wait until I’ve found the time to beat the game. But anyone who is interested, that review is coming.
For now, just bask in the fun that is the Necromancer! Could this be a hint at what new character classes we might see in the inevitable Diablo 3 Expansion Pack?











