Category Archives: Comics

Doctor Octopus Should Have Gotten a New Body

Doctor Octopus is back from the dead in the pages of Clone Conspiracy, and I think they should have given him a new, studlier body. Chubby may be classic, but this is a new century. Spruce this guy up.

Makes quite the first impression

Makes quite the first impression

So I bet you’re wondering how Doc Ock is back from the dead, right? Well, this is where things get kind of weird and very comic booky. This is only Doctor Octopus by a weird stretch of comic book science. The ‘original’ Doctor Octopus died when he sacrificed his life at the end of Superior Spider-Man, the best writing of Dan Slott’s tenure on Spider-Man.

Before he died, and before he became the sort of man who would make a heroic sacrifice, Doc Ock made a digital copy of his brain and put it in computer storage to wake up in the event of his eventual death. This digital copy of Doc Ock spent a while in the Living Brain robot before he orchestrated the purchase of his original dead body by the Jackal, who used his new cloning technique to make a new Doc Ock body.

But rather than the usual cloned pod person mind taking control of the body, the digital doctor invaded the brain and took over.

So Doctor Octopus is now the combination of a cloned body and a digital brain scan from before he died. Such are comics.

He even went back to the old, dumb costume

He even went back to the old, dumb costume

I bring this up because, in my opinion, Marvel should have mad Doctor Octopus hotter.

As you can see from the pictures, his cloned body is the same chubby Doc Ock we’ve always known, with the same dumb bowl cut hairstyle. If you’re cloning a body, even rapidly cloning the body, why would it have that haircut? And since Doc Ock is a master of switching brains, why not have the Jackal produce him a genetically manipulated slender/muscular body?

I bring all this up not just because I want a svelte, sexy Doc Ock, but because body image was a major aspect of Superior Spider-Man. Slott spent a lot of time playing with the fact that Doc Ock went from that old, chubby body to the young, muscular body of Spider-Man. For the first time, he was handsome and in shape, and this was a huge boost to Otto’s self-confidence. He even got an awesome girlfriend!

Anna Maria Marconi is the best new Spider-Man character since Phil Urich

Anna Maria Marconi is the best new Spider-Man character since Phil Urich

In the story where this digital doctor came back, he even remarked how he wanted to just take over Peter Parker’s body again because it’s an awesome body.

So with all of that build-up, why throw it away just to go back to the classic Doctor Octopus?

Granted, making him a younger, fitter Doc Ock with better hair reeks of pandering. But in this instance, it would work for the story and the character. Otto had a taste of being young, handsome and fit, and I would think he would want that again when cloning a new body.

Yes, everybody loves classic Doctor Octopus, but for the sake of the story and his character growth, I think Marvel should have cloned him a slimmer, younger body, and he should have given himself a better haircut. If he wants to win back Anna Maria, looking handsome would be a good first step — not that she’d take him back, she’s not that shallow, but still.

Considering Spider-Man’s long history of romance, Otto Octavius and Anna Maria Marconi is the best love story Spidey comics have seen in years.

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Hooray, the New Scarlet Spider is Back!

So I’ve noticed for awhile now that I’ve been slacking in my blogging. I post a List of Six on Wednesdays and comic book reviews on Saturdays, and then pretty much just Youtube videos every other day. That’s no way to blog! That’s no way to Internet! I haven’t gone on a good rant in awhile. Or written something just for the fun of it.

Well that’s hopefully going to change. I need to take back this space and have some actual fun with it. And from now on, that’s going to include just some quick, fun posts about my pop culture thoughts. I don’t need to do full length movie reviews for everything I see; a quick review is good too. And when something happens in comics that I like, I should mention that too!

For example, as the headline suggests, Kaine is back!

Sorry for the spoilers

Sorry for the spoilers

I used to do full length reviews of the Scarlet Spider series back in the day because I’m a huge fan of the character. Then he was killed in Spider-Verse and that was sad. Well time heals all comic book wounds, and Kaine returned in the second issue of Clone Conspiracy this week!

This is just fun news.

I’m not going to spoil too much of Clone Conspiracy for anybody. Just gonna say that Kaine seems to be doing something heroic, and that’s pretty cool. I hope writer Dan Slott has some fun plans for him.

That's our Kaine!

That’s our Kaine!

To explain why I care, the original Clone Saga in the 1990s was my first real entry into comics. I started out reading the leftovers from when my dad collected in the 60s and 70s, but the 90s was when my brother and I really dove in for ourselves, and Spider-Man was our entry point. We loved the Clone Saga, and especially loved Ben Reilly, the original Scarlet Spider. Kaine was cool too.

Flash forward to now, and while Ben died a long time ago, Kaine continues to be an ever-evolving character who is actually a pretty cool guy. He’s this jerk clone of Peter Parker who still has spider-powers and is trying to sort of do some good with his life. He’s like Spider-Man’s jackass cousin, and is definitely the best lasting effect from the original Clone Saga.

So yeah, Kaine is back in Spider-Man comics. I like that.

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Hench-Sized Comic Book Reviews – 11/5/16

Welcome to the last batch of comic book reviews before the possible ending of the world! I’d like to think we had some truly amazing comics in these, our final days, but they were mostly alright — except for two utterly outstanding comics.

Not only did Harley Quinn mostly stick the landing of their excellent rock & roll story, and not only did Unworthy Thor finally bring about the return of Beta Ray Bill, but writer Dennis Hopeless delivered the Spider-Woman issue he’s probably been waiting years to bring us. The man is brutal. Comic Book of the Week by a mile.

Thumpety Thump Thump

Thumpety Thump Thump

Also, if you live in America, be sure to vote on Tuesday!

Comic Reviews: Champions #2, Harley Quinn #7, Nightwing #8, Spider-Woman #13 and Unworthy Thor #1. 

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The 6 Dopest Dog Superheroes

There are a ton of cat-themed comic book characters out there, but there are surprisingly few dog-themed do-gooders. What’s up with that? I mean, obviously cats are just better than dogs. That’s an intrinsic fact. But you’d think dogs would be a more popular sort of hero.

Sort of a mix of these three

There are plenty of dog sidekicks though!

Don’t worry, comic book fans, I’ve got you covered! I’ve already written about cat superheroes, as well as both superhero cats and superhero dogs, so now it’s time to complete the loop and bring you the coolest, dopest dog-themed characters in comics! They do exist, and some of them are pretty neat!

Join me after the jump for all the dog superheroes I could find!

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Hench-Sized Comic Book Reviews – 10/29/16

Happy Halloween, everyone! Or close enough! Sadly, there weren’t any spooky comics on my pile this week. It’s like everybody forgot about the holiday! Though I suppose the fact that the greatest comic book Halloween story has already been written might deter others from trying. Oh well.

Still, at least we had some good comics this week from some of my favorites. Power Rangers, Ms. Marvel and Detective Comics were all a blast. This week also saw the debuts of the new Prowler series from Marvel and the new Teen Titans from DC. You’d think I’d be super psyched about both of those things, but you would be wrong. Comic Book of the Week instead goes to the new Silver Surfer for a particularly fun and enjoyable done-in-one story.

The Silver Surfer knows the best dates

The Silver Surfer knows the best dates

The latest issue of Civil War II also came out this week, but ugh, that thing is a definite stinker now. And I’m starting to fear the sort of impact it’s going to have on other, more fun comics. Will Miles Morales come out of Civil War II as anything other than damaged? Will Captain Marvel ever be a hero again? Civil War II is barely a story, but it doesn’t seem like Marvel is ever going to learn any lessons about putting out crappy, long-delayed, status quo-altering event comics.

Comic Reviews: Batgirl #4, Detective Comics #943, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers #8, Ms. Marvel #12, Prowler #1, Silver Surfer #7 and Teen Titans #1. 

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