Look, I’m going to level with you fine readers. I’ve spent the past week hip deep in Red Dead Redemption 2, gleefully shootin’ and hollerin’ my way across the old west. Or the new west, whatever the story might be. I haven’t done very much critical thinking beyond whether or not to rob that stage coach. So how about a list of other storytelling genres video game developer Rockstar could develop games for?

I’m still not entirely sure if that’s Arthur or John in the logo

The beauty of a Rockstar game is in the immersion. There are plenty of well-made sandbox games out there, but none reach the depth of world like a Rockstar game. From growing and styling your beard to polishing your guns to tracking animals to realistic mud physics, Red Dead Redemption 2 is a work of art. It’s a game where I like to just walk around, because it wouldn’t fit the story/world/character if he sprinted everywhere.

So Rockstar needs to abandon whatever money-making plans and start whole new franchise! They’ve got cops & robbers with Grand Theft Auto, they’ve got the wild west with Red Dead Redemption and they’ve got a boarding school setting with Bully. Join me after the jump for some loosely imagined other options!

6. Shogunworld

If you think I just Googled “samurai” and picked the most innocuous image, you’re goddamned right

We’ve got Westworld with Red Dead Redemption 2, so how about just do Shogunworld while they’re at it? Samurai, horses, the rich Japanese countryside, plus it would be a chance for a Rockstar game to focus on a culture other than America. Those are all positives. Unless they got the Last Samurai route and just have a white savior as the protagonist…

5. Fantasy stuff

I bet Dragonheart holds up

You know, elves and goblins and dragons and ogres and stuff. Just go nuts with it. Create a big, elaborate world with different races and politics and a humble criminal protagonist. Maybe get really weird with it and do a modern day fantasy, like that movie Bright from Netflix. Just get weird with it.

4. Outer space

Something like this

Whether in the future or in the present, do something with space travel. Maybe aboard a big hub ship. Maybe we have our own ship and can fly to a couple different planets. Maybe a Rockstar version of Firefly? I want to walk around a big spaceship with Rockstar physics. I want…robot horses, maybe? Or hover cars. This would probably rely more on Grand Theft Auto stylings.

3. I dunno…World War II?

Why is there not a movie about the Yalta Conference yet? I’ll admit, I don’t know what happened at Yalta, but you’ve got Roosevelt, Stalin and Churchill in the greatest historical crossover photo of all time! Just imagine that Cinematic Universe!

People are still super into World War II. Rockstar could make a game like that. Or maybe World War I in the muddy trenches? Actually, there are so many video games set in and around the world wars. So maybe Rockstar should do something else…forget this entry.

2. Castles and such

Yep, this is just a picture of a random Renaissance Faire, but it’s better than my first idea, which was to just Google “castle”

We’ve got the horse physics from Red Dead Redemption, along with the wide open countryside. So instead of turn of the 20th century ranch towns and plantation houses, how about medieval villages and big castles? Let’s go jousting! Let’s muck about in a muddy stable. Let’s buy and customize our own suits of armor at the local blacksmith! Think of all the tawdry criminal stuff that could come up around a king and his court. Maybe Rockstar-produced Robin Hood stuff!

1. Pirates

Not the pirate movie reference you were expecting!

Nothing else on this list matters. We need a Rockstar pirate franchise. The people making Assassin’s Creed games came really close with Black Flag, but they didn’t go far enough. We need a full, lived-in, deeply detailed, dangerously addictive pirate video game. Why does none exist? Where’s our open world pirate franchise?! Maybe every other developer is waiting for Rockstar to do what we all need them to do. Give us big, bustling port cities. Give us small island nations. Give us a heart crew on our own ship, where we know everyone from the captain down to the deckhands. And give us Assassin’s Creed ship mechanics…or do them even better!

Just make it happen, Rockstar. Obviously, we want you to keep working on Grand Theft Auto 6. Just hire more people to make this pirate franchise. During my lifetime, please.

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