6 Characters I Can Blame For the Common Cold
Ugh. Is there any worse feeling than trying to shake the last days of a cold? Probably, but for me right now, there definitely isn’t. I’ve been battling this bug for days now and I just want my nose to work properly again! Is that too much to ask?!
At any rate, as with all things that crop up in a given week, I’ve decided to turn my cold into a List of Six! So I scoured the world of pop culture to find six characters, good and bad, who revel in disease and infection. It’s not going to be pretty. You might want to have a box of tissues handy before joining me after the jump!
Surprisingly (at least to me), there aren’t a lot of mutants or superheroes with sickness or infection powers. I looked all over but couldn’t find a one! If you know of any, let me know in the comments. But I did find Bile, a rather minor member of an early incarnation of Omega Flight, back when they were bad guys to the heroic Alpha Flight in Canada. Bile, otherwise known as Tom Preston, had the ability to secrete viruses from his skin, giving him a sickening touch. But he and the rest of his team were killed by their master when they failed to defeat Alpha Flight. In Bile’s case, that was probably for the best.
5. Oil Slick
You’d think that robots would automatically be immune to disease and sickness, but apparently you’d be wrong. Oil Slick is a Decepticon from Transformers Animated, the series that started in 2007. He’s a gnarly motorcycle Transformer who specializes in icky chemical tomfoolery. He’s infamous for using Cosmic Rust and the Reverse Evolution virus, which somehow turns Autobots into Decepticons through chemical warfare. That’s pretty hardcore. His robot mode also features a protective dome around his head to keep him from getting infected by his own products. That’s smart thinking.
In the world of the X-Men, Pestilence is one of the horsemen of the mighty Apocalypse, and there have been multiple Pestilences over the years. Polaris served as Pestilence for a short while, as did Caliban, and then there was a fancy new Japanese geisha Pestilence in recent years (pictured above). But the first Pestilence was the ickiest of them all. She started out as Plague, an old woman and member of the Morlocks who could adapt and absorb any disease, then spread it through touch. It’s no wonder she was a Morlock. Then after the infamous Morlock Massacre, she accepted the job from Apocalypse to become his horseman, which involved a badass power upgrade. She was part of the villains steed team in their original incarnation, before getting defeated by the good guys.
3. Verminous Scumm
A villain so sleazy that they had to get 1990s Jeff Goldblum to voice him, at least in the beginning. Scumm was one of Captain Planet’s most dangerous foes, if you can consider any of them dangerous. He’s some kind of half-rat person who revels in toxins and sickness — including an infamous episode where he organizes an entire town to hate on a local basketball player with HIV. That’s some evil 90s villainy right there.
2. Leezle Pon & Despotellis
One is a warrior for good, the other a warrior for evil, but both of them are literal diseases. Leezle Pon is a sentient smallpox virus who became a member of the Green Lantern Corps, meaning Pon is one of the bravest, most willful beings in his entire section of galaxy. His mortal enemy is Despotellis, a member of the villainous Sinestro Corps. Despotellis is an alien-made virus, part of a long strand of viruses that continued to be refined in an evil lab until the latest strain became self-aware. Despotellis then unleashed itself on the entire planet, killing every living thing. That’s the sort of villainy that gets you a high ranking spot in the Sinestro Corps. Leezle Pon and Despotellis came to blows inside the body of Guy Gardner during the Sinestro Corps War, with Pon proving to be the tougher illness.
1. Infectious Lass
Infectious Lass makes sickness look adorable! As a fan-favorite third-stringer in the Legion of Superheroes, Infectious Lass is an alien who comes from a planet that formed a strong symbiosis with a host of microbes and diseases. On her planet, she’s a normal person, but when she travels to Earth and other planets, she’s essentially got the power to infect people with horrible sickness. This hasn’t curbed her can-do spirit, though, and Drura Sehpt auditioned to join the Legion. They didn’t accept her at first because she couldn’t control her powers (and made everybody sick), so Drura joined the Legion of Substitute Heroes instead. She’s since gone on to become a full-time Legion member in various continuities.
Infectious Lass is also known for her adventures through time and space with Doctor Thirteen. Yep, you read that right.
There you have it, six of the sickest superheroes and villains in existence. I only wish one of them would come along and cure me of this danged cold! A pox upon all colds!
Posted on May 13, 2015, in Cartoons, Comics, Lists of Six!, Television and tagged Apocalypse, Captain Planet, Captain Planet and the Planeteers, Legion of Substitute Heroes, Legion of Superheroes, Morlocks, Transformers, Transformers Animated. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.