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6 of My Fictional Mary Sues
I make no bones about my life as a young fan fiction writer. I am actually quite proud of the work that Young Sean churned out at such a young age – even if I can rarely bring myself to go back and read the stories I wrote. You can check them out at FanFiction.net. Those stories laid the groundwork for the Sean you know today.
And one of the things I loved more than anything else was creating my own Mary Sue characters in popular fiction. Though back then, I had no idea what a ‘Mary Sue’ even was.
Nope, that’s Mary Jane
According to TVtropes.com, Mary Sue is the derogative term for an original fan fiction character inserted by the author into an already popular series, usually to serve as some kind of wish fulfillment. Mary Sues typically have dramatic backstories, awesome names, unique looks, and more often than not, upstage the main characters. For example, say you wrote a Harry Potter fan fic and inserted your own original Hufflepuff wizard, and the story was all about how your wizard fell in love with Draco Malfoy and turned him into a good guy with the power of love. It’s that sort of idealized character inserted into pre-existing stories.
I don’t think I was ever that bad, but I loved creating my own original characters for all my favorite cartoons and movies. Join me after the jump to take a look at just a few of them, and feel free to share some of your own in the comments! No judgement.
Also, as Google has revealed, I was not the only person in the world to come up with these exact same ideas. But I was young, and the Internet wasn’t a thing yet, so forgive me if some of these ideas aren’t 100% unique or original. They were to me at the time.
Stop the Universe, There Are Glorious Forces at Work Here
Theologians will be debating the existence of a higher power until the end of time. But this weekend, I received evidence that there is indeed a greater power at work here. And apparently, they’re watching me.
It is as if the universe coalesced into a single item that now exists solely for me. I can perceive no other reason why this toy exists other than some cosmic force peered into my brain and made it a reality.
How else can you explain Hasbro making a legitimate, fully transforming action figure of Dispensor, the Mountain Dew Transformer from the first movie.
Do the Dew!
I’m speechless. Both because of the awesomeness of this toy and out of fear that someone really is reading my thoughts. Why else would Hasbro make a Dispensor action figure seven years after the first movie came out?! He was on the screen for 10 seconds! And it’s not like he’s some new commercial tie-in.
They changed the name from ‘Mountain Dew’ to ‘Mood Whiplash’ on the toy, so it’s not like Hasbro is getting any advertising money.
Dew It, To It!
So why make this action figure unless someone had recently read my List of the 6 Most Underrated Movie Transformers!? Dispensor is #1 on that list! But I only wrote that list a week ago! Someone knew in advance how much this character makes me giggle! His mere existence is cause for such giddiness!
And now he’s a real toy!
What are you trying to tell me, universe?! That you’re listening to me, you’re really listening? Well then, message received! Loud and clear!
Transformers is as Bad as We Remember
I actually liked the first Transformers movie, and maybe a little bit of the third, but mostly the franchise has been just as big, loud and indistinguishable as we remember! And in case you forgot, Cinema Sins is here to help us out with their classic tributes to the first three movies! Though fair warning, the second two clips are both 20 minutes long. I guess there are a lot of sins.
Transformers
Revenge of the Fallen
Dark of the Moon
What better way to prepare for Age of Extinction this weekend?
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The 6 Most Underrated Movie Transformers
Because money makes the world go round, we have once again arrived at another Transformers movie! This one is entitled ‘Age of Extinction’, the logical follow-up to ‘Revenge of the Fallen’ and ‘Dark of the Moon’. Why the new film isn’t called ‘Age of the Extinction’, I will never know. But all these titles raise the obvious point: how are future generations supposed to figure out the viewing order? Will it even matter by that point? Who cares! Explosions!
“I forgot to mention the Dinobots is all…”
The big draw this time around will be the Dinobots, and I’m personally looking forward to some robot stegosaurus action. Major characters like Optimus Prime and Bumblebee will return, but Shia LeBeouf, who played the part of the human, has been replaced by Mark Wahlberg, playing the part of the new human (the part he was born to play, baby!). So if there’s one thing we’ve learned over the course of the franchise, it’s that the characters are easily replaceable, especially the Transformers themselves. There have been countless bland and indistinguishable Transformers stuffed into each movie – but not all of them are so bad.
In fact, there are more than a few diamonds in the rough. Half a dozen, to be exact. Join me after the jump to meet the unsung heroes and villains of the Transformers movie verse!
I Demand More Dinobots!
Considering the mess that Transformers 4: Age of Extinction is probably going to be, why can’t Michael Bay just promise us a ton of Dinobot action? Like, can they just show up mid-way through the movie and rampage over everybody, good and evil, until the day is saved?
Why do we even need Mark Wahlberg?
And when I say ‘Dinobots’, I don’t just mean Grimlock, who features heavily in this trailer. I want to see the whole gang! I want to see Slag, Sludge, Snarl and Swoop wrecking all manner of stuff. If we don’t get at least one robotic, transforming stegosaurus in this film, then what’s the point?
Though I suppose I will settle for the fact that John Goodman will be voicing one of the new Transformers. I am so into that.
Henchman-4-Hire 