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Review: Teen Titans #25
You can always count on Teen Titans to have more than a few things wrong with each issue. Sometimes it’s an overabundance of editor’s notes pointing you towards some other series. Or maybe it’s a lot of long, boring, expositional dialogue. Or maybe it includes a few random cutaways to villains who will never appear again (the book loves to do that!). It’s always something with this comic. Teen Titans has been written by the same guy with what I assume is the same agenda since the start of the New 52, and writer Scott Lobdell hasn’t gotten any better. This new issue flings our heroes far into the future, into outer space, to meet a bunch of random space dudes and sort of maybe start to learn the secret origin of Kid Flash.
Teen Titans #25
Turns out he’s kind of a murderous monster with more blood on his hands than your average Manson. Our teenage heroes, ladies and gentlemen!
Comic Rating: 3/10 – Bad.
Sometimes I think I’m being too hard on Teen Titans, but then I read the rest of the comics I buy each week and the difference is staggering. Modern comics today usually focus on the character, and leave a lot of the exposition to the art. We readers don’t need to be spoonfed every little piece of plot. But Lobdell on Teen Titans looooves exposition. He loves having his characters explain everything as awkwardly and as stuntedly as possible. Teen Titans #25 is a fine example. And it’s made even worse by Lobdell doing most of the expositing via thought bubbles. Freakin’ thought bubbles! Those haven’t been in style since the 90s! But Teen Titans #25 is full of them, from multiple different characters. It’s deadening.
To say nothing of the actual plot and characters involved. Bart Allen’s origin has no connection to anything we’ve ever seen before in DC Comics or the Teen Titans – or at least that’s how it appears so far. So Lobdell is pretty much making it up as he goes along, whether it’s the names of random space mercenaries or space police agencies or futuristic technology. He’s on a roll just throwing out new ideas and concepts with absolutely no grounding, unless you count the Teen Titans themselves, who have never been particularly grounded.
Teen Titans #25 is another fine example of why this series is as dull and as flat as a piece of wood. Join me after the jump for a full synopsis and more review.
Review: Teen Titans Annual #2
According to the infinite wisdom of DC Comics, the Superboy we’ve been getting to know all along in the New 52 is going to die. Though I don’t know for sure, because I’m not reading the Superboy series or any of the Superman comics, for that matter. And because I don’t read those, Scott Lobdell hates me. At least that’s the impression I get reading Teen Titans Annual #2. Almost everything that happens in this issue ties closely to the events of Superboy and whatever strange concoction of clones and time travel Lobdell and DC have been building over there.
Teen Titans Annual #2
Not that it really matters, in the end, because Teen Titans Superboy is barely a character in the first place. Just like Teen Titans is barely readable.
Comic Rating: 3/10 – Bad.
I have always felt that the decision-making in the New 52 is haphazard at best. DC changes directions on characters and series at the drop of a hat. If something isn’t working, they will go to extreme lengths to try something else and just kind of hope it all works out in the end. No thought is being given to the bigger picture or the long run, and nowhere is that clearer than in the fate of Superboy. Lobdell said at a recent comic convention that Superboy is going to die. I’m pretty sure he wasn’t joking. Instead, DC are going to forge ahead with someone named Jon Kent, the future son of Superman and Lois Lane. It seems the Superboy we’ve been reading about in Teen Titans is a clone of this Jon Kent fella. Again, I think this is all covered in the Superboy series, but I understand that comic is generally unreadable, so I haven’t bothered.
But it’s apparently required reading if you want to try and understand Teen Titans. I would complain more, but then Teen Titans has always been a dumping ground for tenuous connections to other comics. Multiple storylines and characters from Teen Titans have been shuffled off to other comics for no explicable reason; just another example of why Teen Titans is a terrible comic book.
Teen Titans Annual #2 is the issue where Jon Kent replaces Superboy on the Teen Titans. The switch involves time travel, an editor’s note to read Action Comics Annual, and the Teen Titans being played for chumps. So all-in-all, it’s your typical issue of Teen Titans in the New 52. It’s bland, the characters are wafer thin and more effort is put into exposition and clunky dialogue than actual character building.
I would say that it’s sad to see Superboy go, but it’s really not. The character has been as dull as a brick since Teen Titans began, and his recent hook-up with Wonder Girl was the exact opposite direction I wanted the story to go. So see you later, Superboy! You existed, and that’s probably all that can ever be said about you.
Join me after the jump for a full synopsis and more review.
Review: Teen Titans #24
I never thought I’d be happy to see the regular Teen Titans again. But after the horrors of the Teen Titans Villain Month comics, I say bring on the regularly scheduled programming, as awful as it may be! And Teen Titans #24 is pretty awful. Not terribly awful, I suppose, but pretty darn awful, nonetheless. This week, Teen Titans focuses on its horrible, stilted expositional dialogue, with an overabundance of thought balloons, because writer Scott Lobdell isn’t aware that those went out of style with fanny packs and the word ‘radical’.
Teen Titans #24
Teen Titans #24 kicks off a time travel adventure for our teen heroes, because why not? It is decidedly not radical.
Comic Rating: 4/10 – Pretty Bad.
For those of you who aren’t reading Forever Evil, the Teen Titans almost had a moment of awesomeness. Almost. Written by Geoff Johns, arguably DC’s best writer, the Teen Titans were some of the few heroes who hadn’t been killed or de-masked by the Crime Syndicate. So Red Robin told his team to gear up! They were going to have to save the world and take on the Crime Syndicate themselves! It was legitimately awesome. But when the Titans actually attacked the Crime Syndicate, they came up against Johnny Quick (Evil Flash) and lasted all of three minutes. The Teen Titans, everybody. Rather than some glorious fight, Quick simply unraveled Kid Flash from time and sent the whole team hurtling into the time stream.
Because that’s how things work, obviously.
So that’s where we are: the Teen Titans are lost in the time stream, bouncing wildly through different points in time. Don’t worry if you don’t understand it, Lobdell freely makes up a bunch of jibber jabber to explain it and then promptly has all of his characters spout his explanations, as well as every important facet of their personalities and back story. Lobdell gets everyone up to speed on Teen Titans in the most hamfisted, achingly dull way possible. But such is the modern Teen Titans. Despite all of the creative shakeups and changes the New 52 has seen in the past two years, Scott Lobdell on Teen Titans remains steadfast. J.H. Williams III and W. Haden Blackman walked off Batwoman, but Lobdell still holds Teen Titans in his icy death grip. Sometimes the universe just isn’t fair.
Also, if you haven’t heard, DC is going to randomly kill of Superboy in a few months. So sorry if you were in any way invested in the New 52 Superboy.
Review: Teen Titans #23.2
I have no idea why this issue exists. I especially don’t understand why it’s labeled under the ‘Teen Titans’ banner. And after reading Deathstroke #1, I’m quite convinced that DC really pulled this one out of their butts at the last minute. This is garbage on paper, and as such, I’m not going to give it a full review. It’s just not worth my time. At least Trigon #1 was a stark realization in how much Marv Wolfman likes Demon Rape. Deathstroke #1 is just pointless. If you’ll recall, there already was a Deathstroke #1 back at the start of the New 52. He had his own series! Slade Wilson was a badass mercenary anti-hero, but the book didn’t sell, so it was quickly cancelled. Then DC tried to make due with a Team 7 book starring Deathstroke, which was also cancelled.
Deathstroke #1
So why the hell they gave him a Villains Month issue is beyond me. The guy isn’t a villain. Nor does he have anything to do with the Teen Titans. And if this issue is indicative of what came before, I can see why both previous Deathstroke series were cancelled.
Comic Rating: 2/10 – Very Bad.
Like I said, I never read an issue of Deathstroke or Team 7. I don’t know anything about the New 52 version of Deathstroke – other than the fact that he has nothing to do with the Teen Titans. That part of his history has been completely wiped clean. So forget that he was the main villain for the Teen Titans cartoon show. New 52 Slade has nothing to do with the Teen Titans. And they don’t appear in this issue. Even though this is Teen Titans #23.2, it has nothing to do with the Teen Titans whatsoever. Frankly, this is the worst Villains Month issue I have read so far. I haven’t read all of them, but surely there isn’t anything worse than Deathstroke #1. It’s just not a good comic, let alone an origin story or a character profile. I hated Bizarro, I hated Trigon, and I thought most of the others were pretty pointless. But Deathstroke #1 is just abysmal.
Join me after the jump for a little bit of synopsis and further review. But I’m not giving this issue the full treatment. I have better things to do with my life.
Review: Teen Titans #23.1 is All About Rape, a Lot of Rape
What would be a great way to follow up the disappointing Trigon invasion story in Teen Titans? How about a completely unnecessary, largely indecipherable origin story for the lead villain! Not only that, but it’s all about rape! Demon rape! Eons and dimensions worth of never-ending, soul-crushing, genocide-level demon rape. That is Trigon’s origin. He rapes people. That’s apparently his thing. And most of the time, the women he rapes either die during the act or kill themselves from the grotesque horror of it all. That’s our Teen Titans villain, ladies and gentleman. That’s the guy that DC Comics sends up against teenage superheroes.
Trigon #1
They better watch out that he doesn’t rape them in order to birth his next demon children. Because that is apparently what Trigon does. He rapes women on a Biblical scale.
Comic Rating: 2/10 – Very Bad.
So it’s Villains Month at DC comics, and a bunch of titles are being replaced for a quick, done-in-one origin story for a lot of New 52 villains. I wasn’t sure if I would bother reviewing Trigon #1, but after reading it, I felt I had to say something. Because this issue is something else. It’s…well like I said, it’s filled with demon rape. That’s pretty much it. Trigon shows up, vaguely explains where he comes from, and then launches a never-ending, interdimensional campaign to rape as many females as possible. The guy loves to rape. He lives to rape. Rape. Rape. Rape.
Raaaaaaaaaaape.
I hope I never again have to write rape so much in my blog. It’s not a fun word. It’s not a fun thing to talk about. And I’m relatively sure that it doesn’t have to be in this comic. Is rape really the major selling point of Trigon’s character? I know his major comics contribution is having Raven as a daughter, but does she have to have been born of rape? Heck, according to this issue, Raven’s mom consented to the demon rape. So why do so many other innocent women across the universe have to get raped?
The point is, this issue is full of demon rape. A lot of demon rape. Keep reading if you want, or stop now, I won’t mind. But writer Marv Wolfman really loves himself some demon rape. I’ve been around the Internet, and I’ve seen some freaky fetishes in my day. But this issue really, really takes the cake. Join me after the jump – if you dare!
Henchman-4-Hire 