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6 Thoughts on Morbius (Review)

After two years of delays, the Morbius movie has finally set upon us like a hungry vampire. And those of you, like me, who watch most superhero movies, I went to the theater and sat through the whole dumb thing. It helps that I still do a movie review podcast for my day job. Otherwise, Morbius definitely would have been one to skip.

Movie Rating: 3/10 – Bad

I often say that I find the story of Sony’s Spider-Man-adjacent movies more interesting than the actual movies. That this film studio is clinging so desperately to all these Spider-Man supporting characters, convinced that they can find their own success against all odds. It’s ridiculous and funny. And that they keep churning out crap is even funnier. Morbius never should have been made. But here we are.

Join me after the jump for my thoughts and full review of Morbius. Expect FULL SPOILERS for the movie.

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Movie Trailer Tuesday Presents Morbius and Secrets of Dumbledore

We’ve got a big Batman movie coming out this weekend, so big studios are putting out big trailers for their next big movies. That’s how this system works. The problem is that I don’t particularly care about Morbius or Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore.

I have as much interest in the upcoming Morbius movie as I do in the character of Morbius himself, which is very little. I think this movie is going to flop hard.

I just don’t find anything about this movie appealing. I don’t like Jared Leto in the lead role. I don’t like the CGI vampire facepaint. I don’t like the weak attempt to cast him as an anti-hero. I don’t like all the cringy references to Venom. I don’t like shoehorning Adrian Toomes into this movie to try and leech off the MCU. None of it looks good!

Then we’ve got The Secrets of Dumbledore, a seemingly sad and pathetic attempt to keep this franchise alive.

Don’t get me wrong, Harry Potter is still a strong franchise. I’m probably gonna play that Harry Potter video game when it comes out, but mostly because I love create-a-character open world games. But surely the franchise has taken a lot of hits lately, what with J.K. Rowling coming out as a huge bigot and the last Fantastic Beasts movie just being pretty bad.

But they’re trying again, so I guess more power to them?

Both Morbius and Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore come out in April.


Nope, I Still Don’t Care About Morbius

The Morbius movie has a new, extra-large trailer and it does nothing to get me excited for this movie. If anything, it underlines how basic and boring this movie looks. The reminder at the end that it’s coming out in January is all I need to know that this is gonna suck.

The movie feels very basic. There’s the white male lead character, the POC best friend character, and the female love interest. The trailer is very clear about highlighting his super powers, as if anybody goes to a superhero movie because the powers seem cool. The dialogue is hokey, including that Venom joke. I’ve seen both Venom movies. Venom is not well known enough for people to be making Venom jokes like that.

Morbius just doesn’t look good. And I never thought it would be. But I am more than willing for it to prove me wrong when it comes out in the middle of January.


The Morbius Movie Actually Exists!

So much for basic human doubt! Those mad lads at Sony have actually gone through with the impossible! They’ve made an actual Morbius movie! My mind can barely wrap around the very concept of this movie. Morbius?! Really?!

Yep, that’s definitely a Morbius movie. They say his name and everything. And the title is Morbius! The movie doesn’t look good. Honestly, it looks good up until they start getting into the superhero stuff. The idea that a scientist turns to homemade vampirism to cure his incurable disease is kind of interesting…but then it transitions into just another superhero movie. Word has it that the villain is just going to be another dude who takes the same serum and gets the same powers, and Morbius realizes he has to use his identical powers to stop him.

That’s boring! But such will be the Morbius movie when it comes out on July 31!

Oh, and hey, did you catch the Michael Keaton cameo at the end? Personally, I thought it was just a callback to his role as Batman, seeing how much Morbius is some kind of “bat-man”. But then I was reminded that he played the Vulture in Spider-Man: Homecoming, another Spidey villain. That could be a very interesting crossover. Very interesting indeed!

Far more interesting than a Morbius movie.


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