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All the Things Wrong With Unbeatable Squirrel Girl’s Courtroom Scene

We all have jobs. Does it ever bother you when a piece of entertainment gets everything so completely wrong about your job? I’m a reporter for a small daily newspaper in Upstate New York, and I usually don’t have a problem with how reporters are portrayed on TV, in movies or in comics. But I cover cops and courts, everything from arrests to court appearances to trials, and as a result, I can’t stand watching courtroom scenes in any media. Nobody ever gets them right. It’s like nails on a chalkboard how writers warp the reality of the criminal justice system to fit their narrative.

This week’s new issue of Unbeatable Squirrel Girl is about as massive a miscarriage of justice in regards to a courtroom scene as I have ever witnessed.

Pun always intended.

Squirrel Girl Court 01

She’s beginning to look a little squirrelly

In Unbeatable Squirrel Girl #34, Squirrel Girl and her friends are placed on trial for trying to stop the cops from arresting super-villain Kraven the Hunter. And writer Ryan North gets pretty much everything wrong about how a courtroom actually works. This breaks the immersion of the story, hence the nails on the chalkboard feeling.

Now, you might say, “But Sean, it’s just a silly comedy comic, what does it even matter?” To that I would say a couple of things. 1.) Unbeatable Squirrel Girl might be a comedy, but it’s not some whacky, Looney Tunes-style romp where nothing matters. Unbeatable Squirrel Girl has always operated on a foundation of realism. Just look at how stringent North is about the reality of computer coding and programming. This comic could serve as a college text book on the subject. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to then hold him to the realities of the criminal justice system, a system that operates on rules, much like computer programming.

2.) This is just my rinky dink blog, which has no oversight other than myself, and which North probably won’t see, so I can write whatever I want. The entire point of this place is to get stuff off my chest. And 3.) It’s not like I’m disparaging this comic or its creative team. It’s still a fun issue and one of the best comics on the stands. It’s just this courtroom stuff that really, really, really bugs the hell out of me.

So join me after the jump for how badly Ryan North messes up the criminal justice system! It’s me at my most nitpickiest!

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