Category Archives: Star Wars

Patton Oswalt is Our Nerd King

I love Patton Oswalt, I love Parks and Recreation and I love Star Wars. Somehow, in this wonderful world of ours, those three things will come together tonight in a glorious manifesto of Oswaltian brilliance! And even better, the people at NBC posted online the full, unedited spiel!

Trust me when I say all 9 minutes are completely worth it. Oswalt is playing a citizen of Pawnee, Indiana, where Parks & Rec takes place, and he decides to impose a citizen filibuster during a city council meeting. He has to talk uninterrupted for however long he wants without ceding the floor to keep the council from some kind of vote. So he launches into this great proposal for his vision of Star Wars Episode VII.

It’s greatness personified.

It’s good to be a geek.

The Death Star, An Inside Job?

This is quality work, people. This is what the Internet is all about. Star Wars and parody go together like chocolate and peanut butter. We have Graham Putnam to thank for the above video, which is a parody of the 9/11-truthers’ own video. I salute anyone and everyone with this level of creative genius.

My 6 Favorite Spaceships

We may never have flying cars or commercial jetpacks in my lifetime, but I think it’s entirely possible that I’ll be able to travel by spaceship someday. I’m still a young man. Surely someone somewhere is working on easy, affordable and convenient space flight. But until that day comes, we’re just going to have to make due with all the awesome spaceships on TV or in movies. Who hasn’t imagined themselves at the helm of the U.S.S. Enterprise or the Millennium Falcon? Maybe even  some of you would like to pilot the Death Star. I don’t judge.

I can definitely see the appeal

But for me personally, there are a few pop culture spaceships that will always be near and dear to my heart. Whether they looked really inviting on TV or are just plain cool, here are my six favorite fictional spaceships of all time.

Read the rest of this entry

Star Wars Teaches Us the Power of Interjections

Thanks for an awesome Robin Week, everybody! My numbers went up and I think some new people even discovered the blog! But now it’s time to switch gears, so I bring you Star Wars meets Schoolhouse Rock in one of the greatest Internet videos of our generation.

We all have One Minute Galactica to thank for this sheer brilliance. He promises to make more in the comments, and I would definitely be in favor of that. This is the Internet done right.

A Darth Vader Fan Theory

Allow me a moment of indulgence, dear friends, for a fan theory I’ve been brewing in my noggin for some time now. I realize that every aspect of the Star Wars story has been picked apart and explored to the nth degree, but I had this idea and I wanted to see what you good readers might think.

I propose that Darth Vader knew that his son was being raised on Tatooine the whole time. But either because of the goodness still in him, or perhaps the guilt from thinking he killed Padme, Vader chose to let his son go.

Think about it.

Luke was hardly in hiding. At the end of Revenge of the Sith, Obi-Wan delivers newborn Luke to his Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru on Tatooine. But rather than let the kid grow up thinking he’s their son, that he’s Luke Lars, they don’t bother to change his last name and gladly tell him that his father was Anakin Skywalker. This is one of the most ridiculous plot holes in all of Star Wars.

Are you going to tell me that Darth Vader was so stupid that he never found out there was a kid with his last name, claiming to be the son of Anakin Skywalker, growing up on his home planet and living with the only family he had left in the entire galaxy? I realize that Darth Vader hates sand, but surely that information would have gotten back to him somehow.

And I propose that it did. But then at some point, Darth Vader decided that he would not interfere in Luke’s life. Vader knew that if he kept making frequent trips down to Tatooine, the Emperor would find out, and would then find out about Luke. Vader didn’t want the Emperor getting his hands on Luke, so Vader made the conscious decision to leave Luke alone and to stay out of his young life. Vader may have even known that Obi-Wan was watching over Luke.

Now I’m not just whistling Dixie here, folks. All of this so far is speculation on my part. But if you look at the movies, you can see hints of this idea there as well.

It all comes down to two crucial scenes from The Empire Strikes Back.

The first is when Vader and Palpatine discuss Luke, who they know as the rebel pilot who blew up the Death Star. By this point they clearly know all about the pilot and they know he is the son of Anakin Skywalker. If my theory is correct, this means Vader is caught in a trap. He had no intention of ever involving Luke in this whole Empire vs. Rebellion thing, and the Emperor is aware of Luke’s existence, two things Vader didn’t want happening. So Vader has to pretend that he had no idea his son was alive and is now a hotshot Rebel pilot. Palpatine wants Luke dealt with. But what does Vader do?

He suggestion that they turn Luke to their side, to make him a powerful ally.

So out of the blue, Vader comes up with this idea to turn Luke to their side? That’s a pretty quick turn around if he’d only just found out about Luke’s existence within the past few weeks. Plus, Vader doesn’t just take his boss’ side and kill Luke. Vader instead immediately suggests they let Luke live.

The second scene, of course, is one of the most classic scenes in all of filmdom: when Darth Vader reveals to Luke Skywalker that he is Luke’s father. But the key line in that scene is when Vader tells Luke, “Join me, and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son.”

Uh, hello, what about the Emperor, big guy? Is he really going to be OK with that?

Or is Vader, in my opinion, suggesting he and Luke team up and oust the Emperor from power?

And again, that’s a pretty bold idea if Vader had only learned of Luke’s existence a few weeks prior. But what if Vader had always known that Luke was alive and would become a man someday. What if Vader, over all these years, has secretly harbored the desire that Luke might join him at his side someday? Yes, he decided when Luke was young to stay out of the boy’s life. But what father doesn’t hope for greatness from his son? What father doesn’t want to see his son grow up big and strong, and perhaps follow in his footsteps?

So what’s my fan theory. Darth Vader was fully aware of Luke’s existence on Tatooine, but he willingly chose to leave the boy alone rather than have the Emperor discover Luke. But even though he chose to leave Luke, Vader longed for the chance to meet his son and live together. So when Luke grows up and, all on his own, gets involved in the Rebellion, Vader immediately seizes on the idea of teaming up with Luke and being an awesome father/son duo! That Luke doesn’t exactly take him up on that offer is very disappointing. But as we know in the end, Vader totally chooses Luke over the Emperor.

So what do you think? Does my fan theory hold any water? Let me know in the comments, if you please!