Category Archives: Movies

Assassin’s Creed Movie is Going to Be Super Extended Desmond Section

There’s a new trailer out for the Assassin’s Creed movie, and apparently the film looks to be focusing on he boring present-day stuff instead of the meat and potatoes of the franchise. Who the hell plays an Assassin’s Creed game for the present day stuff?! Why is that a focus?!

It’s not like they’re only using Michael Fassbender in the present day stuff. He’s also acting in the Spanish Inquisition scenes! Why are they doing this?! Nobody liked the Desmond segments from the first games! They were so dumb. We played Assassin’s Creed so we could be badass assassin’s parkouring around ancient civilizations! And the movie clearly has those scenes in it. There is so much Spanish Inquisition-era parkour!

Who thought this would be a good idea?

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Super Big, Fan-Spliced Trailer for Rogue One is Pretty Neat

Did you guys hear there was a new Star Wars movie coming out this year?

Once again, I wish I had some actual skill when it comes to video editing. I know how to do it, but man, I could never pull off something this good. The world has passed me by! Fortunately, I can always just go see Rogue One in December! Major props to Science vs. Cinema for putting this together.

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Rebellions Are Built on Hope!

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story has always been in our future, though without any of the excitement of The Force Awakens. But at least the people involved with the movie can make a damn good trailer!

I think this might be my most favorite trailer yet for Rogue One! It reveals a lot of story, boosts some real emotions and better defines out main character. Looks like we could have a winner! And I’m even more excited now about the possibilities of a new Expanded Universe.

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How Suicide Squad Should Have Ended, Plus Other Jokes

Aw man, poor How It Should Have Ended guys. They have a couple of really good jokes about Suicide Squad, but their actual alternate ending is a little light. Instead, they go for the tried and true method of falling back on their own running gags.

It also looks like they’re going to start telling a story with their running gags? I dunno, man. The jokes are fine, but I’m here to watch funny alternate endings! I was never particularly a fan of their Batman/Superman diner segments, or tying every single superhero property back to those diner segments. They’re just not as funny. But I bet they’ve got tons of fans, and I suppose they’ve got to protect and emphasize their brand, so here we are.

Still, lots more to make fun of about Suicide Squad

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6 Things I Want to See in the Power Rangers Movie

The first trailer for the Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers movie dropped over weekend, giving us our first real look at just what this movie is going to be about. We’ve seen the costumes, the posters and the villain, but now we know that the Power Rangers movie is going heavy on the super serious, angsty teenagers angle. This is a pretty far departure from the original lighthearted, campy TV show, but I say bring it on!

Did we all not notice that they're all standing around on boxes?

Did we all not notice that they’re all standing around on boxes?

I was a huge fan of the Power Rangers when I was a kid, watching it every afternoon when I got home from school. I didn’t care that the episodes were silly. I didn’t care that every single episode followed the same exact formula. I was hooked! I owned plenty of toys! And that nostalgia is lodged deep in my geeky soul. I don’t care if this movie is probably going to be a train wreck, you better believe I’m going to have my ticket for opening night!

And since I’m such an opinionated fellow, join me after the jump for six things I want from the Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers movie!

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