Category Archives: Marvel
Hypocritical Pictures
I know I said a few posts ago that I didn’t like the behind-the-scenes photos that fans take of films while they’re being filmed. That it ruined some of the magic of the movie. I stand by that decision. However, some new pics of Avengers filming arrived on the Interwebs a few days ago and they are so crystal clear and so mouth-wateringly awesome that I just have to share them and gush over them!
I’m a hypocrite, I know. In this case, I don’t mind!
First we have some of the Avengers running.
Perhaps they have somewhere really important to go
And then several full costume shots of Captain America, Black Widow and Hawkeye. I am still very much loving these costumes. Though Cap’s looks a little flustered without all the movie magic. Still, I can’t wait to see it on the big screen. I’d say it’s not as awesome as the original war-based costume from the movie. But it’s still pretty cool as an updated, modern version.
Captain America's looking a little tuckered out
I like the visible zippers. Such a thing was a joke when you could see the zippers on the old monster costumes, but for this purpose, it’s perfect. Nobody wants to see the sort of costume that Captain America wore during the musical number in his movie. People want to see realistic-style costumes, not stretched spandex. The zipper adds to the authenticity. At the same time, nobody wants Captain America to just wear black leather, like they did for the X-Men movies. It worked for that team, not for the Avengers.
That being said, both Black Widow and Hawkeye stick to the black leather look. Which works, because that’s what they wore in the comics.
Scarlett Johannson looking awesome
Here’s the thing about movie Hawkeye: he’s not dressed like traditional Avengers Hawkeye. And that’s a very, very good thing. Movie Hawkeye is dressed like Ultimate Hawkeye, and I’ll explain to you the difference. In the world of Marvel Comics, there are many alternate universes. There’s the main universe, which we’ve been reading about since the 60s. And then there are other universes featuring alternate versions of characters. Those are just side stories, for fun.
The most popular alternate universe is the Ultimate Universe. Published in 2000 onward, the Ultimate Universe is a more realistic take on superheroes. Costumes, characters, conflicts and stories are all written with an eye towards being real. Granted, in the past 11 years, that idea has kind of gone off the rails. But when the Ultimate Universe first started, things were more focused. The only way to truly understand what I mean is to read the books. And someday I’ll post a bit more.
But for now, take a look at these two different versions of Hawkeye. The one on the left is the classic Avengers Hawkeye, the one on the right is Ultimate Hawkeye. Notice the realism over the fantasy elements.
Old, classic Hawkeye on the left. New, modern Hawkeye on the right
If you’re going to make a modern day superhero movie that you want people to take seriously, which version are you going to choose? That’s right, you’d choose the modern, Ultimate option. And it looks amazing!
Though honestly, Jeremy Renner looks kind of...ordinary
Is Madrox on the Chopping Block?
Update: New teaser reveals gives us new hope! Click here.
This just in, Marvel Comics may kill my favorite comic book character of all time! Anyone who remembers my list of My 6 Favorite Comic Book Characters will remember that Jamie Madrox, the Multiple Man, is my absolute favorite. But new teaser images released from his comic, X-Factor, are hinting at the death of Multiple Man sometime this Fall.
Can I not have nice things?
My favorite hero
Starting in October/November or so, the entire X-Men line of comics is undergoing a Regenesis. After the Schism, Cyclops and Wolverine will be splitting the X-Men down the middle. Half will stay with Cyclops in California, while half will return to New York with Wolverine. Likewise, Marvel is splitting their X-Men comics down the middle. Four titles will be on Cyclops’ side and four will be on Wolverine’s side. We’ve known for a few weeks now that X-Factor will be on Wolverine’s side. Their new Regenesis comic is scheduled to come out in January.
So why do I think Multiple Man is a dead man? Two reasons. First, here is the new teaser image released today:
Where is Multiple Man hiding?
Mutiple Man is nowhere in sight! Several characters are still in silhouette, including an obvious Strong Guy and Banshee, but many more have been revealed. Amongst them is the return of Havok, the blonde guy front and center. Havok is not a regular member of X-Factor, so his joining the team is one of the new changes as part of Regenesis. But Havok is in the leader’s spot, and Multiple Man is supposed to be the leader of the team. So there we have one very big clue.
Second, the solicitations for the November issue of X-Factor claim that one member of the team will die!
In this issue, a member of X-Factor dies.
Eep!
So someone will die in November, and Multiple Man is nowhere to be seen on the January cover. In fact, Havok has seemingly taken over Madrox’s role as leader of the team. So I think the clues are pretty strong towards Multiple Man dying. Another character on the team, Longshot, is also so far missing from the cover. And somebody’s probably standing in front of Strong Guy. So there’s still hope. But it’s not looking good.
And this sucks.
I mean, what the hell? I know it’s silly to get upset over the ‘death’ of a fictional character. But level with me here. Multiple Man is my favorite comic book character. I love reading about his adventures. I read comics for the characters. The writer of X-Factor, Peter David, plucked Madrox from obscurity a few years ago and has been writing him as a fascinating and complex protagonist for a long time now. Madrox is a star! Sure there are probably plenty of in-story reasons to kill him, but c’mon. Can’t I have my favorite character still alive? Still around to read about on a monthly basis?
Comics will just be a bit more depressing if Multiple Man is dead.
But I suppose it’s not that big of a deal. He ‘died’ once before, back in X-Factor #100. Then a few issues later he came back and just said, “Nope, I didn’t die, it was only a duplicate!” So that could always happen again. I’ll keep my hopes up that he’ll stay alive, or that PAD has some deeper plans for Madrox than just killing him off in order to write Havok instead.
On a semi-related note, they also revealed the Regenesis cover for Wolverine and the X-Men. My brother and I have agreed to split, he’ll get the Cyclops led Uncanny X-Men while I get the Wolverine book. And now I’m definitely happy with that choice because look who they’ve revealed to be on Wolverine’s team.
Toad is in the bottom left corner
Iceman and Toad! Two of my favorite X-characters! And Toad is supposed to be a bad guy, a member of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants! I’ve been a fan of Toad since the X-Men movies, and he’s been simmering in the background, waiting for years now to do something awesome. This could be it! I can’t wait to see Toad take center stage!
If only it wasn’t at the cost of Multiple Man…
Review: Punisher #2
With the second issue of the new series, writer Greg Rucka continues his tale of the wraith-like, silent Punisher and the investigation into the wedding massacre. Once again our focus is on NYPD detectives Celmons and Bolt, split with the continuing adventures of the killer, who is being stalked by the Punisher. We get a peek at the people behind the massacre (I think), but we’re no closer to discovering why everybody at the wedding had to die. Still, the series is rich, dark and fun to read.
Punisher #2
Until they blow the cliffhanger with a frankly silly new addition to the story!
But more on that later. For now, let’s start with the Punisher. Once again, Rucka gives us a Frank Castle who doesn’t say a word and doesn’t have an inch of internal monologue. Though no longer as spectral, thanks to the art, he still doesn’t say anything. The Punisher goes about his killing in utter silence, and there’s a lot of killing this issue. But I’m already getting tired of the silent act. The supporting characters are good so far, at least the detectives are. But I want to read about Frank Castle, not a bunch of nobodies.
Hopefully the villain they inject into the cliffhanger will at least get the Punisher to speak next issue. If only it wasn’t such a lame villain.
We start off following the killer from the first issue, the goateed guy who gunned down people at the wedding but survived the Punisher’s club massacre at the end of issue #1. This guy is running like hell through the streets of New York, trying to go to ground. But nobody’s willing to put him up. So he just keeps running through the dark, grimy streets of New York City. We’re treated to narration by two people named Stephanie and Christian, who we see a bit later standing on a rooftop with a group of other people. They’re dressed like rich people and are talking about the killer, and how the only reason the Punisher let him live is to track him, which would lead the Punisher to Christian and Stephanie.
And sure enough, that’s exactly what Frank Castle is doing. Though still in the shadows, Punisher is now drawn in such a way that we can clearly see his face. He’s no longer a stealthy ninja, as in the first half of the first issue. You may remember that issue #1 was split into two parts. In the first part, Punisher only appeared in shadow. In the second part, he was in the light. In this issue, all one story, he’s in the light again.
Because of my love of the Garth Ennis Punisher series, in which Frank Castle was a hard man pushing 50 with a lot of years on him, I’m not a fan of this young, handsome Punisher. But it’s not a big deal.
Handsome chap
Stephanie and Christian aren’t worried because they’ve hired someone to take care of the Punisher. We see this person only in shadows for now, and he has claws and glowing red eyes. Someone badass perhaps? Just you wait and see!
We jump to the daytime, with detectives Clemons and Bolt investigating the club massacre that ended the first issue. Oscar “Ozzy” Clemons is the Morgan Freeman guy, and he’s convinced that the Punisher is responsible. The kills are far too clean, far too precise. That’s Special Forces training right there. So now they’ve got the Punisher to deal with, messing up their case. They’ve got a job to do, doesn’t the Punisher understand that?
Speaking of jobs to do, in comes Norah Winters, a reporter for the Daily Bugle and a supporting character from Amazing Spider-Man. Now this was a fun cameo. One aspect of this Punisher series is that it’s firmly set in the Marvel Universe, complete with superheroes and mutants and whatnot. So it’s smart that, instead of making up some random reporter, Rucka just borrows an existing reporter character from Amazing Spider-Man. Norah’s fun and sassy in this issue, and has clearly worked with Clemons before. Unfortunately, their entire conversation is about Norah and we don’t really learn anything new about Clemons or Bolt. It’s an extended explanation into who she is and what she does. Hopefully that means she’ll be making routine appearance in this comic.
Being a newspaper reporter myself, having one as a character is always a hoot.
Young, perky and blonde; what's not to love?
Let’s stop here for a moment and look at that picture I just posted. This is a pet peeve that’s only going to bother someone like me, who is a crime reporter for a newspaper in real life. Just like most jobs, Hollywood and other media tend to exaggerate a reporter’s job. I realize that Norah is supposed to be a sassy and edgy reporter, but she’s all over the place in this issue. I realize she may just be joking with her friend Clemons, but when a homicide detective tells you that you can’t quote him on the details of a murder investigation, you don’t quote him on the details of a murder investigation. You have to maintain sources as a reporter, and to do that you have to maintain their respect. If they tell you something ‘off the record’ and tell you not to quote them, you don’t do it. That tends to piss them off. Bad enough she snuck past the police tape into an active crime scene.
Honestly though, I’m probably just being silly. It’s comics, not real life. And my dinky little city isn’t New York City, so maybe it’s different there. Still, it’s one of those things that will only make someone in my specific circumstance stop and shake his head.
This scene is awesome, though, because it name drops Phil Urich. Longtime readers of my blog will know that Phil Urich was one of My 6 Favorite Comic Book Characters. His current comics status quo is that he’s a cameraman for the Daily Bugle, who is making some cash and fame by filming himself as the villainous Hobgoblin and selling it to the Daily Bugle. Exactly like Peter Parker did when he took pictures of Spider-Man. So it’s awesome that Phil gets a mention in a Punisher comic. It means Marvel is really pushing him as a character that will stick around. What’s silly, though, is that Phil is being treated like a TV cameraman. They say that Phil is filming Norah doing her reports. I know the Daily Bugle is mostly an online newspaper now in comics, but do they really do more video than newspaper reporting? Norah can easily make the leap from anchorperson to writing reporter? Those are two rather different fields, especially when it’s clear that Norah prefers the writing.
Kind of an odd sort of crossing of wires in terms of what the Daily Bugle is doing these days. Still, woot Phil Urich!
But I digress. Back to the Punisher!
After the extended introduction to Norah, we jump back to the Punisher chasing the goateed killer. His name is Liam, by the way, and he’s found a brothel to hide in. The owner kicks him out on the street, tossing him into the gutter. Oops! Punisher’s right there, right outside! Liam scrambles to his feet and keeps running, while the Punisher decides to pay the brothel a visit. In silent fashion, Punisher lets himself in and starts blowing away the druggies and the gang-bangers – but he doesn’t harm the girls. Punisher doesn’t kill prostitutes, especially ones that are hooked on drugs like these girls. But he does kill the owner, even when the guy tried to take a hostage, and he kills the ‘madame’, who was using drugs to keep the girls in line.
The blood will wash right out, the punishment will last forever!
The art in this scene is clear and easy to follow, if a little scattershot. The panels are not square and gridlike, with a few experimental angles. What works great are the colors. The scenes on the street with Liam are blue and black, while inside the brothel we switch to a fuchsia. The rooms are bathed in fuchsia, and soon blood. The Punisher’s kills are sharp and bloody. One is especially cool when they just show the silhouette of the owner (in fuchsia, not black) and he’s got the detailed, bloody bullet hole in his head. Punisher leaves and the drugged out girls in the brothel are free. I guess.
We jump back to Clemons and Bolt, who have gone to visit the bride in the hospital. She’s practically the only survivor of the wedding massacre, and she’s finally woken up. It’s a quiet, soft scene in which she tries to remember what happened. Then she remembers everything…
A brilliantly silent page
In the end, Liam has made it back to his bosses, though not Christian and Stephanie from earlier, just some other people who were working with Christian and Stephanie. One of them is a pretty redhead named Dove. She kills Liam with a shotgun, and the Punisher watches from afar through the scope of his sniper rifle. Once Liam is dead, Dove turns to look up Punisher’s scope to tell him that she knows he’s there and she’s ready for him.
Enter cliffhanger villain…the new Vulture!
Are you KIDDING ME!??
What is this crap!? This character is a guy named Jimmy Natale, who used to be a mafia ‘cleaner’. But then the mob turned him into a murderous bird monster-man who now wants to get his revenge on mobsters, or something. Sometimes he works for the bad guys. He fought Spider-Man a few times as some kind of vicious freak. He has no connection to the classic Vulture though, nor to the Punisher. He’s just some monstrous new take on the classic villain created during the period when Marvel wanted to give Spider-Man some new villains to fight. But the point I’m trying to make is that this is the lamest, one-note, bottom-dwelling super-villain that they could possibly throw at the Punisher. They build up this hidden, surprise super-villain…and it’s the new Vulture?
What a chump!
I can only hope they needed to find some bargain bin super-villain for the Punisher to kill. For you see, that’s the problem with bringing the Punisher into the normal Marvel Universe. If you want to have him go up against costumed super-villains, he’s going to want to kill those super-villains. That’s why Garth Ennis’ Punisher took place in its own separate world. And why when they brought Punisher back to the Marvel Universe during Civil War, he almost immediately killed Stilt-Man.
R.I.P.
So I guess Marvel’s just throwing out some lame super-villain who, in theory, will be able to put up a fight. The character of the new Vulture is that he’s vicious and monstrous. So it could very well be a brutal battle in issue #3. I’m sure he’ll definitely give the human Frank Castle some problems. He’s just a laaaaaame villain.
All-in-all, it’s a good second issue. The story continues along on both fronts, though not very far, I’m afraid. We meet the bride who survived, and we meet the people who were behind Liam and the killers. So the story is moving. Unfortunately, we don’t get to really know anything more about the protagonists. Punisher remains silent, ‘speaking’ only with his guns. He kills and moves on, as the Punisher does. He continues to be badass, but this silent treatment isn’t going to be as much fun if it continues much longer. Detectives Clemons and Bolt are back, but their character development is brushed aside so that we can be introduced to Norah Winters.
While it’ll be fun to have Norah in the book, if she sticks around, we didn’t really get to know anything more about the two detectives, who we know will be the main protagonists. Bolt, especially, was in the background this issue, while he was the main character in the last issue. So while the story may have progressed, the characters did not.
At least the art was once again phenomenal. The right mix of action and gritty, street-level talking heads. I love realistic art in my comics, as opposed to silly superhero fantasy, so I’m enjoying the art. This is definitely a book to keep reading. I’m going to try to keep going with every issue, since I’ve had the luxury of starting with issue #1.
What do you all think? Should I keep reviewing the Punisher?
The Next 6 Movies that Marvel Comics Should Make
Earlier this month, it was reported on the nerd blogosphere that Marvel was preparing a Dr. Strange script and had a short list of directors in mind for a possible 2013 release. That’s pretty cool news. I didn’t do a post on it because it’s only a rumor, and I’ll wait for the actual announcement. But it gave me the idea to do a list of what Marvel Comics characters deserve a movie once we reach The Avengers in 2012.
Because what is Marvel goes to do after The Avengers?
Obviously, sequels are the first answer, with Iron Man 3 and Thor 2 also already scheduled for 2013. But Marvel is always talking about what other characters they can make into movies. Blade, for example, is as obscure a character as one can get, but his badass movie all those years ago is what kicked off this past decade of awesome superhero movies. And along with Dr. Strange, they’ve also got people working on a script for Ant-Man (specifically Edgar Wright, the guy who made Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz and Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, so yay!) Deadpool and possibly even Guardians of the Galaxy are also being suggested.
There are no bad characters, only bad filmmakers. So who else deserves the movie treatment in a post-Avengers world?
6. X-Factor
Multiple Man makes another appearance in my blog
Premise: Not all mutants want to put on costumes and play superhero with the X-Men. Some just want to live normal lives working normal jobs, even if they’re not normal. Enter Jamie Madrox, the Multiple Man. Along with his pals Guido “Strong Guy” Carosella and Rahne “Wolfsbane” Sinclair, they’ve opened a private detective agency in the heart of New York City. Based in Mutant Town, the Big Apple ghetto for mutants, the trio at X-Factor look under any rock and snoop around any corner to help their clients.
Why it would make a good movie: This is probably my most fanboyish choice. Fans of this site may already know that X-Factor star Jamie Madrox is my all-time favorite comic book character. I don’t necessarily think this could succeed as a movie, but it would still be awesome. When Madrox first opened his detective agency in the comics, the writer played up the noir aspects of the story. Like classic film noir detectives, Madrox had to deal with chilling mysteries, shady characters and bewitching women. While I’ve never really seen any classic film noir movies, the detective genre still has very strong legs at the theater.
So why not add super powers?
This will probably become a theme on this list: mixing superheroes into other movie genres. The origin tale and the superhero genre are already played out at the theaters. Nobody wants another by-the-numbers hero flick like Green Lantern. So if Marvel is going to try to dip into other characters, they should get creative. Madrox is a funny and charming lead, with a super power that isn’t over-the-top. Yes, he already appeared in the X-Men films, but so what? A little creative writing can get around that paradox. X-Factor would be a unique and exciting new chapter in the already massive and successful X-Men franchise.
5. Wasp – Make her a Disney Princess!
She’s already starring in the Avengers cartoon show
The Premise: Janet Van Dyne’s super power is to shrink to the size of a bug and fly around on little wasp wings. Not a super power that makes villains quake. Yet she’s always been a prominent member of the Avengers, Earth’s Mightiest Heroes! Because this pint-sized pixie princess is ready to prove to the world that she’s just as strong as the boys! When the world is threatened and the likes of Captain America, Iron Man and the Hulk are defeated, it’s up to the miniature Wasp to prove that big things come in small packages!
Why it would make a good movie: Just look at that last line I wrote! That’s Disney Princess gold right there. If you didn’t know this, Disney now owns Marvel. They bought Marvel last year, I believe. Disney hasn’t done much to pierce Marvel’s production, and they promised they wouldn’t, but it’s about time we get some cross-pollination. Marvel has few female characters who can stand on their own. Most of the prominent superheroines are either derivatives of a male hero (She-Hulk) or are mired down in too much continuity (Scarlet Witch).
Whereas the Wasp can stand on her own! Sure she has a boyfriend/husband in Giant-Man, but all good Disney movies need a love interest. There are few properties hotter than Disney Princesses. Just think of what it could do to get young girls into comics. It’s an utterly perfect way to blend Marvel and Disney, and I think Wasp could carry her own full-length animated film, followed by dozens of straight-to-DVD sequels. Because that’s the Disney way!
4. Cage
He has more street cred than 50 Cent
Premise: The Harlem born and raised Luke Cage underwent an experiment in prison where he received super strength and skin as hard as steel. Under the name Power Man, he set out on the streets of New York to make the world a better place. Nowadays he just goes by Luke Cage and wears street clothes as a member of the Avengers. But he remains a hard-hitting, heart-of-gold sort of hero on the streets.
Why it would make a good movie: A lot of prominent black actors really really want to play Luke Cage. Several of them have been made their own short fan films with themselves in the role. That’s dedication and determination. Cage is as simple as it gets when it comes to superheroes, and could easily mix in with the sort of street drama tales out there. Have the super-powered Cage go up against gangs or other urban problems. Just be very careful to avoid the cliches, like say some sleazy white businessman as the villain or something. Keep it on the streets.
And maybe avoid the elderly, wise scrapyard keeper as the mentor. I’m looking at you, Steel.
3. Runaways
Precocious little scamps
Premise: On one fateful night, a group of friends in Los Angeles discover that their parents are diabolical super-villains. Panicked and afraid for their lives, the kids run away from home – but not before stealing some of their parents super-villain equipment and powers. One of them has a pair of super gauntlets. One girl has discovered she is a witch, another girl is an alien. The daughter of time-travelers now has a pet velociraptor, and the youngest and most adorable discovers her mutant power of super strength!
Can these kids get along and figure out their new abilities in time to stop their parents’ cruel plans and save the city? Do they even want to try?
Why it would make a good movie: This is another one of those films that is already in production somewhere along the line. Somebody somewhere is working on a Runaways movie. And that’s a great idea! It’s a fun, charming concept with a lot of great characters. It would be perfect for the same sort of crowd that went to see the Harry Potter movies. We’ve got a group of teens, with at least one youngster, on a wild and wacky adventure. They have to deal with adult problems while also engaging in superheroics. It’s perfect for a family-friendly movie.
The casting would probably have to be really good though. But just think back to a lot of classic kid groups, like in The Sandlot or The Goonies. It’s not hard to make a group of kids wonderfully cinematic. Even the recent Super 8 had a good group of kids. Find the right group of actors, give them a lot of character and not just sass, and you have a popular, fun sort of film.
2. Thunderbolts/Super-Villains
Not quite as precocious
Premise: A life of super-villainy only leads to one thing: getting your butt whooped by the hero. You’re a criminal, powers or not, so you’re bound for a lengthy prison sentence, if you’re not outright killed in the fight with the hero. So what is life like behind bars for the criminals zany enough to dress up in costumes and fight with super powers. What would the road to rehabilitation be like? What would the world look like once they’re let out from behind bars? Not every super-villain is an insane, megalomaniacal monster bent on world domination.
Why it would make a good movie: Superhero movies are played out, so how about a super-villain movie? Granted, it would be a movie about a villain seeking redemption, but still it would be about a more unscrupulous character than usual. They could grapple with choosing to stay evil or perhaps becoming a superhero. Maybe they’ll question the difference between just being a criminal and actually being evil. They could get into fights in prison, like a typical prison movie – just add super powers! There are a lot of paths for movies about criminals.
But who could Marvel pick?
My top choices would be the Beetle or The Shocker. One is the original star of Thunderbolts, the other just fits the role well. Let me explain that I don’t think the basic premise of the Thunderbolts, at least the original comic, should be made into a movie. Originally, the Thunderbolts were promoted and debuted as a new superhero team of brand new characters. Then for the cliffhanger at the end of Thunderbolts #1, it was revealed that they were actually a group of classic Marvel villains in disguise! They were only posing as heroes to fool everyone, granting them more and more power until they’d be in control. In a world before spoilers and the Internet, that surprise was pulled off nicely and Thunderbolts is still being published today. Eventually the villains decided they preferred being heroes, and so they went in that direction. Nowadays, the Thunderbolts is about a team of villains seeking redemption as part of their prison sentence.
All of this is far too complicated for a movie. But people could get behind a super-villain movie about a crook wanting to maybe turn over a new leaf. And Marvel has plenty of characters who could be the star. They’d just have to pick one and use a bunch of others as supporting characters. It would be a fun Who’s Who of low-level Marvel villains.
1. Silver Surfer – by Pixar
Fun Trivia: The Silver Surfer uses a surfboard because he has no need for a space ship, since he doesn’t need to breathe and can survive the vacuum of space. But he can’t fly under his own power. So for transport, he uses the simplest possible object: a flat board.
Premise: In order to save his home planet Zenn-La from destruction, Norrin Radd volunteers his life to servitude to the planet-eating cosmic entity known as Galactus. Norrin is transformed into the Sentinel of the Spaceways! Traveling the universe on his board, the Silver Surfer visits unique and colorful planets to find nourishment for his master. But how does the Surfer balance his own noble heart with the gruesomeness of his mission? Galactus serves a purpose, like a hunter thinning out the deer population, but how can the Surfer live with the guilt? Especially when all he wants to do is go home.
Why it would make a good movie: You don’t get more epic than the space-opera that is the Silver Surfer. Though the Fantastic Four sequel had a pretty good Silver Surfer (changes aside), they barely scratched the surface of what this character could portray on the big screen. But I do not recommend a live action film. Instead, Disney should create some corporate synergy and give us a collaboration between two of their properties: Marvel and Pixar!
Did you know both studios are owned by the House of Mouse?
Nearly everything Pixar touches is gold, and their love of minor characters and outcasts in big worlds is perfect for the Silver Surfer. I wouldn’t want them tackling someone as popular as Spider-Man (though it’d be awesome). The alien nature of the Surfer, and especially Galactus, would allow them to stretch beyond just human characters. Plus just imagine the gorgeous shots they could create of outer space, Zenn-La, any other planets the Surfer visits or of Galactus’ ship itself. Everybody hated Cloud Galactus in the Fantastic Four sequel. Going with Pixar instead of a live action CGI shot would be able to create the most glorious, imposing and majestic Galactus ever!
Plus the story of the Surfer is a lovely sort of human tale that’s perfect for the Pixar style. It’s a collaboration that needs to happen. Besides, Pixar already made a movie about the Fantastic Four.
I see what you did there
Comic Review: ‘X-Men: Schism’ #3
In my effort to do more comic book reviews, I’m going to throw down with another of the big Event Comics coming out of Marvel this summer: X-Men: Schism. This will be my first time visiting X-Men Schism, and sadly I’ve found it to be lacking.
It’s a fun X-Men comic, but it’s utterly failing at its two main points: splitting up Cyclops and Wolverine and introducing some new villains.
X-Men: Schism is essentially the prologue to the next big X-franchise reboot this fall. For years now, the X-Men have been hanging out and doing their thing on the West Coast. They abandoned the classic X-Mansion in Westchester and moved out to their own private island off the coast of San Francisco, then named it Utopia. The X-Men claim they’re their own sovereign nation; whatever. The point is, all the mutants are now living on Utopia with Cyclops leading the X-Men. They’ve been nice and comfortable for years, fighting baddies and doing superhero stuff.
So now it’s time to break them up, it seems.
Zappy, zappy! Slashy, slashy!
The main thrust of this story is supposed to be that some dangerous something or other has come along that’s going to drive a wedge between Cyclops and Wolverine. They’ve never really gotten along, but for decades now they’ve been respectable pals. They trust each other, fight alongside each other and can count on each other. Well the new X-franchise reboot is going to involve a split where each one takes one half of the team and forms their own X-Men. So how do we get to that position?
By issue #3 of the 5-part Schism, I’m not really sure. Absolutely nothing that’s happened so far has convinced me at all that we’re heading to a monumental split of the X-Men, or even a minor split between Cyclops and Wolverine. Writher Jason Aaron is basically feeding us a few minor squabbles so far that I guess are going to lead to the bigger split between the two. But there’s just so much history and friendship between Cyclops and Wolverine that even they seem to acknowledge that getting at each other’s throats is silly.
And this is only issue #3
The story itself is actually fairly cool, and would make a good X-Men story. With mutants gathering power on Utopia, Cyclops and Wolverine attended a world conference about peace and security in issue #1. Cyclops gave a good speech and argued a bit with some jerkly diplomats. Then an evil mutant punk crashed the party and used his telepathy to start making all the diplomats admit their darkest secrets in front of the TV cameras. It’s a minor terroristic prank from a third-rate character – but it pisses everybody off. All around the world these diplomats are calling on their countries to bring their old Sentinel robots out of storage to once again defend themselves against mutants.
That’s a good idea, and I’m enjoying that part of the story. Under Cyclops’ leadership, the X-Men step up and start taking down these idiots and their mutant-killing machines.
Then the evil mutant punk asks for asylum on Utopia, and Cyclops gives it to him FOR SOME REASON! Cyclops’ decision to protect the jerk-whistle who started this mess makes very little sense. Sure there’s the sense of protecting a fellow mutant, but since when has that been an option? Whenever the X-Men beat up evil mutants in the past, they didn’t take those guys under their wings to protect them. It’s a decision that seems forced just to cause a riff with Wolverine, since Wolvie wants to turn the punk over to the proper authorities.
I’m really getting the sense that Cyclops is supposed to be in the wrong here. Because the next little squabble comes in issue #3. One of the young student characters, Idie, is out in the city with some other X-Men when the bad guys attack (more on them later). Idie is a scared teenage girl, and she’s hiding. When she’s the last X-Man standing, she’s able to get on the radio to the others. Wolverine tells her to stay hidden and not do anything. Cyclops tells her to do what she must to save everybody in the building.
So Idie saves people!
When Cyclops and Wolverine finally make it to the scene, Wolverine is pissed that Cyclops had the girl attack and kill the bad guys. Cyclops’ exact orders were ‘You do what you feel you have to’. He didn’t order Idie to kill anybody. She decided to be a hero, be an X-Man and stepped up and saved the day. Everybody made it out of the building before the ‘bomb’ went off, thanks to Idie! But Wolverine is pissed that Cyclops would put her in that situation.
Frankly, Idie is annoying the ever-loving Hell out of me. I know very little about the character. She’s brand new and is featured in a book I don’t read. What little I do know is that she’s from some African village (I think) and was mistreated because she’s a mutant. But so far in Schism, she’s written like a 4-year-old who hates herself. So seeing her do something heroic is only a good thing. As if the teenage X-Men have never gotten their hands dirty. Hell, why’d she even have to kill those guys? Haven’t the X-Men been training her how to use her powers?
Between the evil mutant punk and Idie, the writer seems to be forcing little squabbles down our throats as to why Cyclops and Wolverine will come to blows in the last two issues of this mini-series. But I’m just not buying it. Nothing has happened so far, and there’s no indication that anything will happen, that’s monumental enough to split these two friends and then split the entire X-Men into picking one side of the other.
Especially not the villains.
The Sentinels are not the villains of Schism. Instead, the writer introduces us to Kade Kilgore, a psychotic pre-teen kid who’s taken over the Hellfire Club and is attacking the X-Men for reasons that are not yet clear. I could not be more disappointed in this one-note, implausible, ridiculously over-the-top villain. It’s like the writer said, “Okay, so get this, the bad guys is going to be…a psycho kid!” and then stopped right there.
We meet Kilgore in issue #1 when he kills his father.
And they're in a flying car for some reason...
And since that one moment, we have learned nothing new about this kid or his motivations. Why does he want to kill his father and take over his company? Why is anybody letting him do it? Why does he want to go after the X-Men? No freakin’ clue!
What’s worse is that in issue #2, he’s joined by three other psycho kids who’ve also apparently killed their parents to take over their respective companies. Nobody in the business world is stopping them. Nobody seems to question that they’re now taking orders from clearly homicidal children. It just is. And that’s hair-pullingly idiotic.
First of all, they’re not even written like kids. They’re more like short adults. All four of them (with the exception of the girl who’s playing the ‘loopey’ psychotic maniac) speak and think with complete maturity and intelligence. That completely undoes the reason for them to be kids. Now they’re only kids because it’s crazier, or something to that effect. Like, wouldn’t it be crazy if they were all psycho kids? Yes, it would be crazy, but it wouldn’t make any sense.
Second of all, these kids are super-powerful. Not personally, mind you, but they seem to be unstoppable in a ridiculous way. For some reason, they’ve taken over the Hellfire Club. The idea of a purely human Hellfire Club, one that has turned away from its former mutant masters, is a good idea. But who the hell on the Hellfire Club thinks it’s a good idea to start taking orders from these insane children? Whatever, so the Hellfire Club gives the kids a couple of goon squads and they attack the opening of the new Mutant History Museum in San Francisco.
This is the building where Idie was earlier. She’s joined by her classmates, and then the X-Men Emma Frost, Colossus, Iceman, Magneto and Namor. This is a pretty big team of heavy-hitters for the X-Men. Yet when the kids attack, they and their random Hellfire goons are able to take each of the X-Men out in essentially one hit! That’s all it takes. Hell, both Magneto and Namor each have an exact same moment where they take all the time in the world to introduce themselves, give the evil children a moment to explain the fancy gun they have and then the kids use the gun to take out Magneto and Namor. And these guns are ridiculous. The gun to take down Namor shoots out heat pads on the ground, dehydrating the undersea king. The gun that takes down Magneto shoots miniaturized neutron stars, or super magnets. WHAT!? These kids have a gun that shoots miniaturized FREAKIN’ stars?
Again, ridiculous! These kids and their weaponry are just too over the top to take seriously.
Now let me stop here for a moment and say ‘yes, this is comics’. These sorts of weapons and villains are awesome in their ridiculous nature. In the world of comic books, of course such a gun is awesome and children as bad guys are cool. But they don’t fit in this mini-series.
This is a serious, down-to-Earth, grounded tale of how Cyclops and Wolverine come to blows and how it splits the X-Men. Everything so far has been very realistic in nature. They went to a peace summit, they’re attending a museum opening. They’re questioning matters of politics. And then in come these ridiculous, over-the-top villains that just clash with the nature of the story. The children villains are so one-dimensional as to be groan-inducingly boring. We don’t even know why they’re doing all of this or why they’re specifically going after the X-Men. And they seem to be able to pull whatever sort of magic weaponry they want out of their asses with the specific purpose of defeating the X-Men in ‘one punch’.
And I haven’t even mentioned the space slugs.
X-Men: Schism has been disappointing so far because it’s failing at its two main points: splitting up Cyclops and Wolverine and introducing the new villains. Nothing these evil, one-dimensional brats have done so far would convince me that the X-Men are going to split up and go their separate ways.
But other than that, the mini-series has been good. Jason Aaron writes a strong team with great personality. The idea that the X-Men have to clean up when all the world starts digging out their old Sentinels is a cool one. And I like the idea of the X-Men doing something global like attending a peace summit.
And the art has been fantastic. There’s been a different artist for each issue so far, and they’ve all been brilliant.
Except in issue #2 when Cyclops looked anorexic…
