Category Archives: Batman

Hench-Sized Comic Book Reviews – 10/4/14

Welcome to a week of firsts! I don’t know if it’s divine intervention or some kind of back room deal, but both Marvel and DC delivered a huge number of new starts and #1 issues this week, which sounds to me like a solid foundation for this week’s reviews. There were so many firsts I couldn’t even get to them all, but I think I picked a nice smattering of titles.

We’ve got #1 issues for the new Thor, Gotham Academy, Guardians 3000, Bucky Barnes: The Winter Soldier and Lobo, some of which are really good, some of which are mediocre, and at least one of which is the worst comic I’ve ever reviewed in this column! I also included the new Captain America issue, which debuted Sam Wilson as the new Cap!

Thank Stephen Colbert

Comic Book of the Week goes to Gotham Academy for being both adorable and mysterious in pretty much equal measure. That’s a good start for any comic.

I’m going to warn you fine folks in advance though…be careful of my reviews this week. You know I’ve been sticking it out with Batman Eternal since the beginning, but this week…man…I get a little ranty. Keep reading if you dare…

Comic Reviews: Batman Eternal #26, Bucky Barnes: The Winter Soldier #1, Captain America #25, Gotham Academy #1, Guardians 3000 #1, Lobo #1 and Thor #1.

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There Will Be So Many ‘Two-Faced’ Jokes, So Many

Gotham has gone ahead and cast actor Nicholas D’Agosto to play Harvey Dent, and the obvious joke is that everybody on screen is going to be making ‘two-face’ jokes all the time. Normally I wouldn’t cotton to such an obvious gag in an article, but there’s no other way to handle this announcement. Gotham will make ‘two-face jokes’. All. The. Time. This is a show that has Selina Kyle insist on several occasions in one episode that everybody call her ‘Cat’. There is no subtlety here.

Also coin jokes

Every single time Harvey Bullock sees Dent, he’s going to say something like, “Man, that Harvey Dent sure is one two-faced guy.” There’s no getting around it. We just have to accept it. And expect some kind of ‘acid’ joke in Dent’s very first scene.

For a moment, I was going to tell you henchies that I’d never heard of D’Agosto and therefore didn’t have an opinion on him…but then I took a closer look at his picture and knew I recognized him from somewhere. So I checked out his IMDB page, and sure enough, it’s West from Heroes! Don’t remember West? That makes perfect sense. He was the flying kid in Season 2, the one who was almost Claire’s boyfriend! Still don’t remember him? I barely remember him either. Season 2 was when Heroes started to go downhill fast. Remember when Peter left his new girlfriend stranded in a post-apocalyptic future? Yeaaaahhh…

I assume D’Agosto has grown up since then, so maybe he can pull off Harvey Dent. Though it’s interesting to note how much older he’s going to be than Bruce Wayne. In the comics, they were roughly the same age, and friends. Looks instead like Dent is going to be Gordon’s age. That’s fine. The obvious jokes will land just as thuddingly.

Gotham is Going to be More Badass Than We Hoped!

Opinions may vary on the quality of Gotham, but I like it, and this new promo trailer for the first season is pretty darn exciting!

We’re two episodes deep into Gotham, and so far, I’m a happy camper. Once they shake the opening jitters, I think Gotham is really going to take off. But while we’re on the subject, I was reading an interesting article on i09 the other day and thought I’d weigh in.

How does Gotham successfully tell the story without Batman? If Gordon succeeds in cleaning up all of the crime and the super-villains before Batman even arrives, then why does Gotham City even need Batman? Or conversely, if none of the super-villains show up until after Batman debuts, doesn’t that mean he only makes the situation worse?

I think Gotham can pull this off with ease.

Obviously, they just need to introduce Batman. I’m thinking by season 3 or 4, they can get a whole season out of that scene in Batman Begins where Bruce Wayne visits Gordon in his office and says, “Now we’re two.” Problem solved!

But seriously, the show can pull off this balancing act, and I think they already know how: focus on the mobsters.

This is a very storied time in Gotham City’s history, when the mob control of Carmine Falcone slowly slips out of his grasp as the freaks take over. And you’ve got your lead freak in Oswald Cobblepot, whose rise to power is clearly going to be one of the main storylines. Penguin perfectly straddles the line between mobster and freak super-villain. So focus on Gordon and Bullock battling Falcone and Fish Mooney in the first season, while the Penguin works his way up from the trenches.

This then leads to an all-out gang war on the streets of Gotham at some point, between Falcone, Sal Maroni and Fish Mooney, with the Penguin surprising everybody by being more vicious and more wild than any of them could have predicted.

And, most importantly of all, you have Gordon lose.

Oh he’ll try, and he’ll fight, and every once and awhile, he’ll get a victory. Harvey Bullock will come over to his side in full at some point. More police officers will listen to him in time. But in the great big grand scheme of things, Gordon will lose, and Gotham City will keep getting worse.

And then it will need the Batman.

Gotham has more than enough time to pull this off. Start small in the battle between Falcone and Mooney in season one, with the Penguin very much on the fringes. Build up to a full-on gang war for seasons two and three, perhaps. Not every episode has to be about the serialized gang war. Throw in the occasional proto-villain here and there, like a ‘crime-of-the-week’ sort of thing, and you can pad out the seasons while remaining interesting.

All of those freaks we met in the first episode will stay on the sidelines. Selina Kyle can obviously keep operating as a young cat burglar for as long as they need. Ivy Pepper never has to do anything further. And Edward Nygma never has to turn completely into the Riddler over the course of the series. The cops are always going to need a forensic analyst, after all. Heck, maybe Riddler can become the big bad who eventually defeats Gordon. Maybe by season 4, the Penguin is coming into his full power, and he teams up with Nygma to really destroy the GCPD…which is when Batman shows up to lend a hand! Seriously, stop being assholes and bring Batman into your Batman show.

But there you go, Gotham, my two pieces of advice: have Jim Gordon lose, and focus on a gang war with the Penguin as wildcard. There’s your show.

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Let’s Start Our Week With Some Batman

Some hyper-talented piano-playing blokes decided to do a medley of various Batman theme songs. When you’re trying to sell your record, adding Batman songs is a surefire way to go viral.

Sweet song, but it could have been longer and more badass. But hey, at least The Piano Guys tried. That’s more than I ever did with Batman music. But then those themes wouldn’t sound very good on the trombone, which I haven’t played since…high school, maybe? Good old, loyal trombone.

Hench-Sized Comic Book Reviews – 9/27/14

I don’t know what to tell you, henchies, but this week was kind of a busy one for yours truly. Couple that with a rather low key week of releases and I’ve only got four reviews for you! I know! I feel like I let you all down. But man, there were just some boring comics put out this week. I just couldn’t bring myself to read the latest issue of All-New Ghost Rider.

But we’ve got new issues of Batman Eternal, Cyclops, Storm and the excellent New Avengers, which easily wins Comic Book of the Week. If you’re a fan of Doctor Doom, you should be reading New Avengers. I’m giddy with excitement over that guy.

Though while we’re here, I was hoping I could ask you readers for some feedback on my Hench-Sized Reviews. I’m always looking for ways to improve this feature, but I’m not sure what you guys and gals like or dislike. Personally, I’ve started to feel like I put these reviews together on an assembly line. It’s efficient, but is it worth reading?

What do you folks think? Do you like that I include a synopsis? Would you like more review? I know I don’t talk about art much, but I could. Are these things even constructed very well? Are they getting too long?

Any feedback would be much appreciated, even if you only stumbled upon this page, or you don’t comment very much. I can only get better if you fine readers let me know how, so please, jump down to the comments and let me hear it!

Comic Reviews: Batman Eternal #25, Cyclops #5, New Avengers #23, and Storm #3.

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