As expected, this busy week has come to an end and we can all relax and enjoy some comics. Except that I didn’t enjoy a lot of this week’s comics! For possibly the first time in a long time, there are some real stinkers in my review column!

But not Comic Book of the Week Absolute Batman #10, for some truly excellent, Batman-themed horror.

Meanwhile, I continue to slowly make my way through Death Stranding 2. I’m very much enjoying the game. Or maybe I just enjoy giving myself virtual busy work? Who’s to say. Other than that, I’m excited for Fantastic Four: First Steps this week, and do hope to get my Superman review up sooner rather than later.

Comic Reviews: Absolute Batman #10, Absolute Flash #5, Exceptional X-Men #11, Imperial #2 and Wonder Woman #23.

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Absolute Batman #10
Writer: Scott Snyder
Artist: Nick Dragotta
Colorist: Frank Martin
Letterer: Clayton Cowles

Snyder made his name as a horror guy, and he definitely shows off those chops in this issue — with Dragotta doing some crazy work too!

Bruce is imprisoned in Ark-M, where he’s stripped down to his bare essentials and studied. He keeps finding darker and more clever ways to break out, and each time he’s painfully stopped and returned by Bane. Until the final test, where the doctors give him his batsuit again, and this time he stumbles upon the mutated Waylon Jones. They team up and escape, with Bane hot on their heels.

Comic Rating: 9/10 – Great.

Ark-M has been teased since the beginning and is a very nice pun. And now we’re deep into the mess of it all, with an issue that showcases the madness of the facility and the greatness of Batman. I like both things, and this is a successful payoff to everything built so far. Ark-M is crazy sauce, and Snyder uses a bunch of classic Batman villains to make it even wilder. I don’t feel like spoiling who shows up, and in what capacity, but suffice to say some chilling experimentation is going on in this facility and it’s quite horrific. We’ve got body horror, monster horror, psychological horror; the whole kit and kaboodle, and it all works splendidly to sell the danger and up the stakes for our heroes.

Suffice to say, the design of Absolute Killer Croc is insane and amazing.

And then we get a lot of great Batman scenes, as he is pushed to every single possible edge and then gets up and does his thing anyway. The bad guys repeatedly underestimate him, and it’s always fun to see Batman being insanely cool at what he does. My only nitpick is that some really gnarly things happen to Batman in this issue, and that always rubs me the wrong way in an ongoing superhero comic. Are the experiments and surgeries done to Bruce this issue going to carry onward as part of his character? Do they even matter? Is it just a little too gross for comfort? I guess we’ll see.

TL;DR: The horror and the awesome Batman-ness of it all are pushed to extremes in this issue and it definitely works, along with some truly outstanding character designs.

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Absolute Flash #5
Writer: Jeff Lemire
Artist: A.L. Kaplan
Colorist: Adriano Lucas
Letterer: Tom Napolitano

I keep going back and forth between enjoying Absolute Flash and disliking Absolute Flash.

Absolute Heat Wave is a monster that’s really screwing with Wally’s powers, but Grodd convinces him to suit up and go stop the monster. He does so…but the artwork is really confusing. Wally has no idea what’s happening to him, and neither do I. And then the Rogues track his signal.

Comic Rating: 4/10 – Pretty Bad.

So, like, this is just a confusing issue built around an already confusing powerset, now doubled because we’ve got Heat Wave in the mix and I’m just not sure what happens. I guess Wally doesn’t just have superspeed, and he’s somehow able to interact with Heat Wave? It’s just confusing what happens. And then we get a little scene where whatever happens sends Wally to another plain of reality where Barry (or something) is trying to reach out to him, and that just adds to the confusion.

Also, I don’t like how Kaplan draws eyes.

I’m just not vibing with Absolute Flash. There have been a few moments where I thought I was on board, but it’s still just a little too weird and a little too flighty for my tastes. We don’t yet have a solid grasp of Wally’s powers, and the artwork this issue isn’t doing them any favors. Then we get a real rush in him wearing this costume. Again, I just don’t think any groundwork has been laid as to why Wally would strip that costume off Barry’s dead body and now where it himself, with it fighting perfectly, despite their different sizes. Also, superhero costumes have rules, and yet everybody recognizes the costumed Wally West immediately. But I guess those are just nitpicks.

TL;DR: Unsteady artwork and story choices make for an issue that is more confusing than entertaining.

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Exceptional X-Men #11
Writer: Eve L. Ewing
Artist: Federica Mancin
Colorist: Nolan Woodard
Letterer: VC’s Travis Lanham

I need to get caught up on other X-Men comics. I need to find the time to read Uncanny X-Men, gosh darnit!

The X-Kids are out at the park and encounter a space anomaly, through which the villain Tank arrives and starts causing havoc. Ironheart shows up and the heroes all work together to repel Tank, but the anomaly remains. The X-Kids heads to their mutant meeting while Riri flies off to do some science work about the anomaly. The X-Men throw the kids a party for having defeated Sinister, and when they talk about the encounter with Tank, Kitty gets huffy and storms off.

Kitty meets with Nina and tries to return a toothbrush that Nina left behind in Kitty’s place…which should have been a sign, but Kitty’s been busy lately. The meet-up does not go well. And while lost in her head and walking through the park, Kitty falls into the anomaly.

Comic Rating: 8/10 – Very Good.

This is just a fun little issue that sees the X-Men off on some new adventures, while mixing in some good, quality character interactions. The X-Kids in this book are very fun, and now they get to meet and banter with Ironheart. Good times. That totally works for me. And we’ve set up a solid new story. I also continue to enjoy the teamwork between the young and the old, so that party scene was nice. And then we get some more of Kitty’s relationship woes, which also work for me. I want my superheroes to have relationship stories and compelling personal lives. And this definitely works for me, in this issue. Kitty is still spinning herself right around and I am here for it.

Also, where’s Lockheed? The previous issue ended with them finding Lockheed in one of Sinister’s tubes. Did they not actually find Lockheed?! Is he still trapped? Why is Kitty not worried about Lockheed’s current whereabouts?!

TL;DR: A perfectly enjoyable entry in this exceptional ongoing comic, where all the characters work nicely together and the stories are fun.

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Imperial #2
Writer: Jonathan Hickman
Artists: Iban Coello and Federico Vicentini
Colorist: Federico Blee
Letterers: VC’s Cory Petit and Ariana Maher

The worst sin of all is to be boring. That’s hyperbole for how I feel about this series so far.

All those random intergalactic empires we met last issue launch a giant attack on Wakanda Prime, because Wakanda is a space empire these days. Wakanda, led by Black Panther, counterattacks and it’s basically just a big, wild jumble of space armadas and the occasional individual. And then we find out the old-fashioned bad guy Skrulls are behind all of this and they attack everybody? And I guess there are some Shi’ar who are staging a coup against the current leader. And then there’s the bigger picture of two shadowy figures playing space chess and talking about controlling the board/game.

Comic Rating: 3/10 – Bad.

I thought I didn’t care about the cosmic makeup of Marvel in the first issue, but oh how it has sunk in this second issue. This is just one big mishmash of aliens and their spaceships shooting at one another, and then everybody getting double or triple crossed. And none of it feels like it matters. None of it really lines up to a coherent or interesting storyline. Who cares if these various empires collapse or kill each other? They have no greater baring on the Marvel Universe. And they’ll just be replaced at the end of this story anyone. And it seems like they’re just being replaced by the old status quo. The Skrulls are evil again? And the old Shi’ar bad guys are staging a coup? It’s boring!

To say nothing of intergalactic Wakanda. I’ve just never read any comics about them. So as a new reader lured into reading Imperial, I just don’t care. And obviously they’re not about to actually make the Wakandans the bad guys, so it’s all a fakeout that doesn’t work. Likewise, I just don’t care about the framing device of two hidden figures playing a game of galactic chess. My guess is that they’re the Grandmaster and Loki and this is just some badly used trope of galactic figures pulling the strings for their own amusement. I’m not amused. It’s a boring addition to an already boring and slapdash story.

TL;DR: No part of Imperial is compelling enough to warrant this comic existing.

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Wonder Woman #23
Writer: Tom King
Artist: Daniel Sampere
Colorist: Tomeu Morey
Letterer: Clayton Cowles

I’ve been really looking forward to see what King does with Mouse Man and this ain’t it.

OK, so, I guess there’s some kind of secluded island of American refugees who live in a world…run by Mouse Man? It seems like a semi normal community, with schools and families and whatnot, but there are also roving gangs, violence around every corner and giant mice. And oh yeah, everybody only ever says the phrases “Mouse Man Knows” and “Mice Have Ears.” So, like, imagine the scenes meant to set up this story and setting, with characters going about their normal days, and all dialogue is replaced by those two phrases, spoken as if they are actually talking normal. It’s a bit…and as far as I’m concerned, it falls flat on its damn face. This was a bit too far for me.

Anyway, on the outside, Wonder Woman gets word that someone she’s looking for is in this mouse world, and Etta Candy was maybe sent ahead to find that person? The Justice League is against Wonder Woman going into this sovereign nation, but she goes anyway.

Comic Rating: 4/10 – Pretty Bad.

I had never heard of Mouse Man until King teased him at the end of his first big storyline. I looked him up and I got excited to see what King could do with the character. And I’ve enjoyed the past issues that have served as a build-up for Mouse Man. And then we arrive at this issue, the story arc proper, and holy cow, it does not work for me. As past readers of my reviews might remember, I am absolutely loving King’s Wonder Woman so far. Every issue has been an absolute banger. I’m more than ready for King to be clever and interesting with Mouse Man. But this ain’t it. This did not work for me at all.

I don’t even know what King is trying to say with this gimmick. There’s no indication by the end of the issue what it’s all about or how it applies to Mouse Man. I guess we could be looking at a complete and utter reinterpretation of Mouse Man, considering he’s barely ever existed to even have canon in the first place. And I’m definitely open to see where this is going. But I needed something this issue to tie it together by the end, to offer even a glimmer of explanation or point. How does the repeated phrasing make the story better than if the characters were just speaking normal dialogue? I’m sure that will be explained (I think it will be explained), but I really needed something in this first issue to ground that level of madness and I didn’t get it. This was all a step too far for this poor lad.

The Wonder Woman segments faired better, though still weren’t up to the normal standards of this series. The Justice League seems very opposed to Wonder Woman doing the superhero thing of saving these people from the seemingly despotic Mouse Man, which is utterly convenient. And then Wonder Woman takes her baby into this madness zone, which seems like a bad call? But then maybe she takes the baby into all her battles.

TL;DR: This issue tries for a bit that just didn’t work for me at all. I still have faith that it will all make sense by the end, but this issue needed something to help the reader find their footing, some glimmer of explanation.

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The comics I review in my Hench-Sized reviews are just the usual comics I grab from Comixology any given week, along with a few impulse buys I might try on a whim. So if there are any comics or series you’d like me to review each week, let me know in the comments.

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