Tales of the Empire came out on May the Fourth this past weekend and it really stunk up the place. Maybe one out of the six episodes — each about 15 minutes long — was any good. I’m really disappointed in this show. I enjoyed Tales of the Jedi last year, but man, Tales of the Empire was a real stinker.

Still, I don’t think the format is a bad thing. Not every single character in Star Wars can get their own full length movie or TV show, so why not throw them some mini-sodes in this little show? There are plenty of characters who could use some fleshing out, who could use a bit more backstory. It’s a shame they went with Morgan Elsbeth this time around, because her backstory is not interesting. Barriss Offee had more potential, but then they wouldn’t commit. Tales of the Empire indeed.

Anyway, in case Star Wars ever does this again, I’ve got some suggestions for better characters to tell stories about.

6. Grand Inquisitor

Overall, the Grand Inquisitor sucks. He’s a dorky poindexter who lords over his charges like his poop don’t stink, but he’ll never be as powerful as Darth Vader or the Emperor. But he’s been in enough media at this point that I think we’d all like to see how he came to that role. I believe it’s been hinted that he used to be a guard at the Jedi Temple, which means he wasn’t good enough to become a Jedi Knight, and maybe had some resentment about that? How goes he then survive Anakin’s attack on the Temple, and then get spared/recruited by the Empire? Also, I’d love to learn more about how the Inquisition started in the first place. It was never part of the original trilogy, with implied that only Vader and the Emperor were left in terms of Force-Users. So I think there’s a lot we could actually learn about the Inquisition as a whole if we told this guy’s origin story.

5. Gilad Pellaeon

We’ve seen Pellaeon a few times in a few shows now, both animated and live action. He was a Legends character who has been transferred over to the new canon. From what I can remember, Pellaeon was a level-headed Empire commander who took control of the Imperial Remnant after the death of Palpatine in the old continuity. Once all the moffs and warlords were dealt with, Pellaeon took command and stabilized what remained of the Empire, and even managed to turn them into a reasonable force that worked alongside the New Republic. He hasn’t done anything like that in the new continuity, instead just being an old leader with vague ties to Thrawn. I think if we’re going to actually tell Tales of the Empire, might as well take a reasonable dude from the Empire and tell his story.

4. Baron Soontir Fel

Speaking of telling actual stories of the Empire, how about bringing over a hot shot TIE Fighter pilot and telling his story? Baron Soontir Fel was the best pilot in the Empire in the old, Legends continuity. He had a big, long backstory involving marrying Wedge Antilles’ sister, but let’s not worry about that. Just tell some tales about what it’s like to become a pilot for the Empire, and then becoming the best pilot for the Empire. Star Wars dogfights remain cool, so have some awesome TIE Fighter vs. X-Wing episodes from the perspective of the TIE pilots. Remember that really awesome anime-esque short somebody produced a couple years ago? That stuff was badass!

3. Reva

I don’t think anybody has any fond memories of the Obi-Wan TV show, and I know the haters really didn’t like Reva, the Inquisitor we met in that show. But I love screwing over the haters. So how about some episodes about Reva? Show her induction into the Inquisition and what that was like, and then we could actually have her stick with it, unlike Barriss. I have little to no memory of her role in the Obi-Wan show…did we get Reva flashbacks in that show? Did she turn out to secretly be a good guy the whole time? Man, I just don’t remember…but she’s a character ripe for more backstory, eh?

2. Baylan Skoll and Shin Hati

Star Wars may never recover from the death of Ray Stevenson, as it should be. He was the best part of the Ahsoka TV show, which wasn’t all that great in the end. But he’s gone now, and we may never see more of live action Baylan Skoll and his journey. So perhaps switch to animation to tell his story? Then you can cast a new voice actor for Skoll and not worry. We’re all dying for more Baylan Skoll stories. What was he like in the Jedi Order? In the Clone Wars? How did he survive Order 66? What was life like immediately after the Purge? How and where did he meet his apprentice, Shin Hati? What was it like to take her on and train her? There is so much more to reveal about those characters! Why did Dave Filoni waste our time with Morgan Elsbeth’s backstory instead?!

1. Palpatine

Sheev Palpatine topped my previous list of 6 Jedi Who Could Use Some Tales because I think his younger years are criminally unexplored. I know there’s a book or two that has some details, but we haven’t seen anything on screen, either in live action or animation. This would be a great chance! What kind of young man becomes the empire of the entire galaxy? The plan wasn’t his, but when and how did he take it up over his master? How was he discovered as a young man? Why did the Jedi miss him? What was his Force training like? Did he and his master walk around Coruscant like kings, hiding their evil secrets right under the noses of the Jedi? Palpatine surely lived a whole fascinating life before we met him in Episode One, what was that like? Tales of the Empire seems like the perfect way to find out, at least little snippets.

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