Not much out of DC Comics this week, but not to worry, Marvel has us more than covered with another seemingly weekly chapter of All-New X-Men and the brand new adjectiveless Avengers #1! Considering how popular Jonathan Hickman’s Fantastic Four run has become, I was actually kind of excited to see what he could do with the Avengers. Sadly, that excitement turned into a whole lot of apathy once I actually read the title. Similar to my reaction to his very popular S.H.I.E.L.D. series. Maybe I just don’t get Hickman. He’s got some wild ideas, but I’ve never been overly impressed. We also get the debut of the new Thunderbolts series and the final issue of Amazing Spider-Man before the big #700. And I still don’t know what’s going to happen?

All-New X-Men rises to the occasion to become Comic Book of the Week, but there are some nice moments in the new Avengers. Including one great one with Bruce Banner.

Indeed, now comes the punch and pie

Comic Reviews: All-New X-Men #3, Amazing Spider-Man #699, Avengers #1, Hawkeye #5 and Thunderbolts #1.

All-New X-Men #3

All-New X-Men #3
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Artist: Stuart Immonen

Here’s a question for Bendis, one the very characters themselves ask at the end of this issue: why is Cyclops working towards a revolution? Where did that come from? What are we even talking about here? Is he planning to raise an army and then revolt against humanity? Because that doesn’t sound at all like what he’s doing. For that matter, why does Beast think Cyclops’ actions are going to lead to a mutant genocide? What is Cyclops doing that is so evil? He’s rescuing mutants from human prejudice and having them join his X-Men. Isn’t that what the X-Men have always done? In the first issue, Kitty Pryde, Beast and the others were all wringing their hands about Cyclops attacking soldiers and cops – but he only did that to save the mutants they were holding captive. What were the X-Men at the Jean Grey School doing to help those captured mutants? Nothing! But for some reason, now that everybody hates Cyclops, anything he does to help mutants is viewed as evil. That’s a load of crap.

Fortunately, Bendis is doing a pretty good job with the new Cyclops. Not as good as Kieron Gillen in AvX: Consequences, but at least it’s close enough to make me happy.

This issue focuses entirely on Cyclops and his team. In the opening scene, they rescue Emma Frost from a prison convoy, and in the process learn that their powers have stopped working properly. Weeks have passed since the Phoenix, but only now are they finding out that being bonded with the cosmic entity has messed up their powers. Oh also, Magneto’s powers are messed up because I guess he spent a lot of time hanging out with the PhoeniX-Men, because that makes no sense, but Bendis goes for it anyway. Emma is mad at Cyclops, but he insists that he wasn’t himself when he attacked her, it was the Phoenix making him crazy. Though Magneto – angry at having lost full use of his powers – has a big speech with Cyclops trying to convince the younger mutant that part of him was still in charge when he was Dark Phoenix, that he has to accept more responsibility.

In the end, these X-Men head to a college campus to recruit a new mutant who has been revealed during a pro-mutant rally. The kid, who has some kind of shape-shifting power, is the belle of the ball, so at least Cyclops doesn’t have to beat up any cops this time. But no sooner do they arrive at the campus then Cyclops is confronted by his younger self, who asks why Cyclops is now fighting a “revolution” and what the hell he thinks he’s doing.

Comic rating: 4/5: Good!

I liked that the issue focused on Cyclops, doing a great job of fleshing out his position in this new status quo. It’s not as clear as I’d like, but I still think Cyclops is in a good place. Yes, everybody is mad at him and everybody hates him, but he still knows what he did and did not do when under control of the Phoenix – though I’m fairly certain Bendis is trying to establish that Cyclops is in denial. But c’mon, no part of anything I’ve read indicates that Cyclops really wanted to kill Professor X. Nor was Cyclops reshaping the world in his own image. He was using the Phoenix to create farmland and water pipelines. But I’m not going to get into that old argument again. Cyclops is not a super-villain, and I’m glad that Bendis is continuing the depth and complexity of Cyclops’ new life. Though I think this faulty powers angle is kind of pointless, and I hope in future issues Cyclops can better explain why he thinks he’s fighting a revolution.

Amazing Spider-Man #699

Amazing Spider-Man #699
Writer: Dan Slott
Artist: Humberto Ramos

There is no indication yet as to what the big surprise in Amazing Spider-Man #700 might be. This is the penultimate issue, but nothing in these pages would lead anyone to believe that this isn’t just some normal Spider-Man story, albeit with some strange happenings. Doctor Octopus is in Peter Parker’s body, and Peter is in Doc Ock’s dying body, but I doubt this is going to be the status quo of Superior Spider-Man. There’s no way Slott would spoil the big surprise in the first issue of a 3-part story and then have nothing happen in the climax. So I doubt Doc Ock is going to be in Peter’s body for very long…so who is? Well, I mean it’s possible that Doc Ock in Peter’s body could be the Superior Spider-Man. Maybe Slott’s big surprise in issue #700 is that he makes the switch permanent (or comic book permanent, at least). That would be weird, but I guess I would be interested in reading Superior Spider-Man to see where the story goes…but really only out of extreme curiosity. The idea of Doc Ock being in control of Spider-Man’s body for the long term is not appealing in the least.

This issue is all about Peter being trapped in Doc Ock’s dying body. The prison doctors save him from the near death he suffered last issue, and now he’s just lying there on life support trying to think his way to freedom. Peter realizes he has access to all of Doc Ock’s memories, so he takes a trip down the other man’s memory lane to figure out how he managed to switch bodies. The memories go all the way back to an earlier Spider-Man vs. Doc Ock story from a few years ago, when Octavius created a whole army of Octo-bots to attack New York. Spider-Man grabbed Doc Ock’s control helmet and used it himself to stop the robots – which is where Doc Oct started to implant his brain pattern into Spidey’s. Peter used the same helmet again at the end of Spider-Island, giving Doc Ock even more control. And finally, Spider-Man incorporated the same technology into the armor he wore during The Ends of the Earth, which finalized Octavius’ plan.

Then during the battle against the Hobgoblins, the tiny golden Octo-bot that has been crawling around attacked Peter in secret and activated Doc Ock’s brain patterns. Somehow (comic book science!), that switched Peter and Doc Ock’s minds. But with this knowledge, Peter reaches out and takes control of the little gold Octo-bot again. He calls up one of Octavius’ various contingency plans, which is to hire several other super-villains to come rescue him from prison. Sure enough, after a bit of waiting, Scorpion, Hydro-Man and the Trapster break into the prison and break Peter out, believing him to still be Doc Ock. Peter is suddenly wracked with guilt at the idea of using super-villains to get what he needs, but he’s in no position to argue. At the very least, he convinces them to leave without freeing any other super-villains. The issue ends with Peter telling his new team of super-villains that they need to capture Spider-Man alive.

Also, there’s a brief scene with Curt Connors, the Lizard. Curt opens up to Peter, believing him to be Doc Ock, and reveals that he is really Connors trapped in the body of the Lizard. Peter tries to help free Curt in the escape (without giving himself away), but Connors refuses to go, since he doesn’t know that’s really Peter. Confusing, but it makes sense on the page.

Comic rating: 4/5: Good!

Does Doc Ock’s plan hold up to extreme scrutiny? Not really. Does it have to for the comic to work? Not at all. Comic book science is its own beast, and it just doesn’t matter to me how he did it, only that Doc Ock did it. Now Spider-Man has to get out of it using all of his Spidey ingenuity. And considering the story is just Peter lying in a dying body reading through memories, it’s actually fairly entertaining. I especially like how Peter gets out of prison, and nearly puts together a new Sinister Six in the process. Peter’s guilt is fantastic as the villains carry him out. It’s also just a really creative escape, though considering Doc Ock’s body was given only hours to live, I’m surprised he survived the trip.

So I’m definitely eager to see what the big surprise is in #700. Right now, I’m starting to think that Slott is going to have Peter fail and be stuck in Doc Ock’s body while it dies, essentially killing Peter Parker and leaving Doc Ock as Spider-Man. That would piss off a lot of fans, at least those of us who aren’t jaded to this sort of silliness in comics. Though after the Lizard’s cameo in this issue, part of me now thinks maybe Curt Connors or the Lizard will end up in Peter Parker’s body. It would be weird, but it could happen! All I know is that, whatever happens, it will not be the status quo for long. Peter Parker will be back as Spider-Man eventually, and probably just in time for his next movie.

But as far as I’m concerned, the idea of someone else using Peter Parker’s body in Superior Spider-Man just does not interest me. I’ll probably give the series a look, and maybe check out some issues, but I don’t see myself caring long term at all.

Avengers #1

Avengers #1
Writer: Jonathan Hickman
Artist: Jerome Opena

I originally wasn’t planning to pick up this comic. It didn’t look particularly interesting to me, at least not in an already crowded Avengers/X-Men market. But I started hearing good things about it, and I missed out on most of Hickman’s popular Fantastic Four series, so I decided to give it a try! I’m not sad that I did, just disappointed. Hickman has some good ideas at work here, but he also has a few flat ones as well. And I just don’t think he’s going to take his largest idea – Avengers World – as far as he could. It sounds to me like he’s going to make the Avengers a larger brand in the superhero world, where any hero could be an Avenger; and that’s a perfectly fine idea, especially coming off what Bendis did with the team. But based on this issue, it seems to me like Hickman is going to stall this idea at a certain point, which is a bad idea. Something like Avengers Earth needs to be fully embraced!

There is definitely a larger, more epic feel to this comic, but it didn’t fully click for me. New villain Ex Nihilo and his two cosmic cohorts (a lady and a robot) have terra-formed a part of Mars, and he’s sending terra-forming bombs down to Earth. The Avengers fly out to Mars (like it’s no big deal) to confront him. The lineup is the same line up as the movie, which isn’t so bad, honestly. Go with what work, even if it doesn’t make the best sense in today’s Marvel Universe. Anyway, the Avengers get their butts kicked, and Ex Nihilo randomly decides to send Captain America back to Earth as a warning to everybody else. But instead, Cap suits up in a new costume and initiates a new plan that he and Iron Man put together: having all (or at least a lot) of superheroes on call in order to assemble into a team when needed. The issue ends with Cap recruiting several new heroes to launch a rescue mission.

Comic rating: 3/5: Alright.

Hickman tries for epic, but he falls flat on his face, as far as I’m concerned. First, because the idea of putting together a new team of Avengers is not epic. It’s been happening since the very foundation of the Avengers. So the last page cliffhanger is nothing more than the latest roster, and it loses a lot of steam because I have no idea who half the characters are. Name tags would have helped. As well as less generic costumes. Second, the issue fails because the villain falls for the cliched trap of being insanely overpowered in his first appearance. Ex Nihilo looks cool (an all yellow, muscular demon) and has a neat idea, but we don’t know anything about him or his companions. He’s just there, acts all chummy, and is already in the middle of his terra-bombing of Earth when the issue begins. Then the Dream Team of Avengers show up to stop him – including Thor and Hulk – and Ex Nihilo and his companions make short work of them. The fight lasts all of five minutes or so.

Then Ex Nihilo just so happens to send Captain America back to Earth rather than keep him as a prisoner like the rest of the Avengers. Why? Because the story needed him to, of course, so that Cap could go back and put together a new team. It’s  a comic book cliche to have a new villain completely destroy established heroes to make the villain look more dangerous. Hickman falls for that trap perfectly, and all it does is make me roll my eyes at this villain even more. And then once Captain America puts his new lineup together, why doesn’t he just get all the superheroes? Why only get a dozen of them, most of them standard Avengers, when he could get every available superhero to race back to Mars to save the others and stop Ex Nihilo? For that matter, why does he leave behind some of the Uncanny Avengers?

I like the general idea of Avengers World. Bendis broke the mold when it came to Avengers membership. So it makes sense, I think, to expand upon Bendis’ ideas by making Avengers membership available to all superheroes! Make the Avengers a world-wide organization of superheroes, not just a team of specific figures who hang out in their clubhouse. That’s a good idea. But Hickman doesn’t go far enough with it – at least not yet. I want to see what happens next, even if this issue was a total let down.

Hawkeye #5

Hawkeye #5
Writer: Matt Fraction
Artist: Javier Pulido

Fraction wraps up a nice, neat little two-part story with the usual fun and excitement of his Hawkeye run so far. The art by Pulido is serviceable, but as I said with the last issue, he is no David Aja. That man can art. I would have loved to have seen what Aja would have done with this story. But now that I think about it, I don’t think Aja managed to draw all of the Iron Fist series either. So perhaps the man’s talents take time. Oh well. We can’t have perfection all the time.

In order to escape the ninjas attacking him, Hawkeye hurls himself and the chair he’s tied to out the hotel window. He’s falling to his death, but is caught by the sudden arrival of SHIELD director Maria Hill on a flying scooter thingy. Hawkeye and Hill fight off the ninjas, then show up to save Kate Bishop, whose ruse as Madame Masque has been discovered. Clint and Kate fight their way to freedom, bantering all the way, then have to fight their way back into the hotel to get the tape that Kate left in the room. This time, Clint takes a bullet for Kate as they escape and the tape is destroyed. While Hawkeye is recovering, SHIELD reveals that the tape, which shows Hawkeye assassinating a foreign bad guy, was a ruse all along. A Navy SEAL team killed the bad guy, but SHIELD learned that somebody was trying to find out the identities of the SEALs and that they had a mole on the inside. To keep the identities safe, SHIELD made three fake videos that showed either Hawkeye, Captain America or Wolveirne killing the bad guy, then leaked them to their potential moles. Because an Avenger killing a bad guy is worth more than SEAL identities. Then when the tape featuring Hawkeye as the killer turned up on the black market, SHIELD was able to identify their mole. Kate Bishop calls Clint an alright guy.

Comic rating: 4/5: Good!

What can I say? Fraction’s Hawkeye is still an amazing comic. And I’m sure if David Aja was drawing this issue it would get a perfect score. His art is just that damn good and expressive. As it stands, this issue is still just mostly awesome. The story is fun, and the true nature of the tape is a great reveal that I did not see coming. Clint and Kate have some great chemistry, and Madame Masque proved to be a fun villain. Perhaps we’ll see some more of her as the series goes forward. I cannot recommend Hawkeye enough, even if you don’t particularly care about the character himself (like me). This is just an awesome series.

Thunderbolts #1

Thunderbolts #1
Writer: Daniel Way
Artist: Steve Dillon

In hindsight, there was no other name for a superhero team put together by General Thaddeus “Thunderbolt” Ross. This new series may not have anything to do with the classic Thunderbolts (now known as the Dark Avengers, for marketing purposes), but at least the name is right on the nose. This is another comic I picked up on a whim, but I don’t see it doing too well. It finally looks like the Red Hulk is being put out to pasture after a prominent run with the Avengers. But rather than get rid of the character, Marvel has decided to see if they can’t make a superhero team composed almost entirely of Punishers. A badass team of anti-heroes, if you will. And while I suppose the concept is good, I just don’t know if it’s going to work.

The first issue is just a recruitment issue, as Ross goes around gathering his chosen team. Each of the stories is interspliced with the other, cutting back and forth between one another. It still feels like each of these characters was chosen at random, even Ross. And as such, the recruitments are a little weird. It’s hard to believe that General Ross has been keeping an eye on Deadpool from as far back as Weapon X, but that’s what he says. I also don’t know why he would recruit Elektra, or why she’d agree to join him. She has no interest in superheroics. I’m also bothered by the fact that Ross just so happens to find and recruit these characters in the middle of an action scene. He recruits the Punisher while Frank is tied up and at the mercy of an army of encroaching mafia goons. He recruits Venom in the Middle East while Venom is fighting off a band of insurgents. He recruits Deadpool in Europe while Deadpool is fighting a deadly band of mimes. And he recruits Elektra right in the middle of an assassination. There’s also some purple-haired girl, but no explanation is given as to whether or not she was recruited or is just some kind of flashback.

Anyway, in each of those recruitments, Ross is just standing around chatting with the hero while they fight off their opponents. How does that even work? How did Ross know that Elektra was going to be killing that guy, and why did he walk in on her kill? And when recruiting Deadpool and Venom, Ross is just casually standing or sitting off to the side while the heroes kill a lot of people. He couldn’t have approached them like a normal person when they weren’t in the middle of a fight? Or why not lend a hand?

Comic rating: 4/5: Good.

Weirdness aside, it was still an entertaining issue. I have spent zero time with Red Hulk, so I have no clue what kind of character growth Ross has gone through in the past years. But he comes off as a pretty cool guy in this issue. The other characters are also handled mostly OK. Though the book cannot shake the feeling that Marvel picked the characters first and then came up with reasons for why they would joint he team second. None of the reasoning is very strong. Especially not why an esteemed general like Ross would bring together these specific people. I also would have preferred a more military focus. So we’ll see if Daniel Way can have this team make any sense, because after the first issue, it still doesn’t. At least Dillon’s art didn’t bug me as much as I thought it would.

The comics I review in my Hench-Sized reviews are just the usual comics I pick up from my local shop any given week, along with a few impulse buys I might try on a whim. So if there are any comics or series you’d like me to review each week, let me know in the comments!