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Red One is Certainly Happening
There’s another Christmas modern movie coming out this season and it’s going for action and CGI spectacle above all else. It’s Red One, in which the Rock and Chris Evans team up and fight CGI monsters in an effort to save J.K. Simmons as Santa Claus.
I like to give all movie’s the benefit of the doubt (unless they’re Sony Spider-Man villain movies), so maybe this could be good. I loved David Habour’s Violent Night a couple of years ago. I even liked Mel Gibson’s Fatman. So maybe I’ll like Red One. It definitely looks pretty wild. I’ve also heard all sorts of behind the scene antics from the Rock, like refusing to show up and work a full day. The cost also ballooned to like $250 million. I dunno.
Anyway, that’s the trailer, this is Monday, and Red One comes to theaters on Nov. 15.
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Just a Metric Ton of Rando Movie Trailers
I’m tired, boss. It’s been a week, let me tell you, and it’s only going to get worse over the next few days. So no List of Six this week. Maybe comic reviews. We’ll see. And for this middle of the week, I’m just gonna drop a bunch of random movie trailers that came out in the past few days. I don’t know what’s happening, but these are really, really random movies.
Let’s start with the most random (and that’s saying something!) Bando Stone and The New World with Donald Glover! This one is pretty wild and awesome.
It’s so nifty looking! Donald Glover at his weird and wild best, in a truly interesting premise. The effects also look pretty damn insane. Very creative, very inventive, and that could really make the movie.
Bando Stone and The New World…apparently currently has no release date. Huh. Oh well.
Next up is Red One, wherein the Rock and Chris Evans do a Taken with Santa Claus.
Honestly, this one looks fun. It’s probably gonna be ridiculous, but the same could have been said about Violent Night, and I loved that movie! That was Die Hard and Santa Claus. So I’m definitely willing to give this one a chance.
Red One comes to theaters on November 15! Theatres? Not Netflix? Interesting.
Third up is the trailer for Jackpot, in which John Cena and Awkwafina (that rhymed!) do a silly, R-rated action comedy. I love both of them, so I’m down!
And Simu Liu! Wonderful! I’m so glad to see him still getting work. I want that dude’s career to explode! And I want to see Shang Chi 2 sooner rather than later. But for now, I’ll settle for Jackpot, which comes to Amazon Prime Aug. 15.
Next is another trailer for the movie Trap, which is an M. Night Shyamalan movie.
And starring everybody’s forgotten Hollywood dreamboat, Josh Hartnett. Guess he’s back for good. Looks spooky. And the trailer doesn’t give the twist away, if you’re worried about that. Just looks like a solidly spooky horror film. Good times.
Trap comes to theaters on Aug. 2.
Lastly, we have Hellboy: The Crooked Man, what appears to be a fanmade Hellboy movie given realish studio power. If you can call Ketchup Entertainment a real studio.
I don’t even know about this. I guess Mike Mignola himself, along with author Christopher Golden, wrote this movie, so that’s something. But otherwise, this looks almost pathetic. But it also looks…maybe interesting? Seems to be a really spooky movie that just happens to throw Hellboy in as our protagonist. That could be fun! And if made cheaply, maybe we get a bunch of low key Hellboy movies?
I guess we’ll see when Hellboy: The Crooked man comes to theaters(?) sometime this year.
And that’s it! Those are all the movies! Or at least all of the trailers I saved and wanted to share. Probably a bunch more rando movie trailers in the world at the moment. But these will have to do for now!
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Hench-Sized Comic Book Reviews – 1/17/15
Something is definitely wrong with me these days, henchies. I am definitely not living up to the ‘hench-sized’ decree in the title of this column! From last week to this one, it seems like I have a whole heck of a lot to talk about with comic books! I try to keep these reviews short and easily digestible, but sometimes when I get going, I really get going!
It helps that this week sees the debut of Star Wars #1. There’s definitely a lot to talk about with that comic! I was a little hesitant about diving in, but Marvel does not let me down. This is quality comics! Star Wars #1 captures Comic Book of the Week because it could be a pretty historic book.
If it was up to me, though, Captain Marvel would win because the newest issue is just that damn good! Captain Marvel #11 gets the first perfect score of the new year! Check the review to find out why! We’ve also got new issues of Batgirl and SHIELD, both of which deserve a lot of attention. And Batman Eternal finally brings us an issue focused on Red Robin and Harper Row, the only thing I still like about that comic.
Over at Word of the Nerd, you can check out my take on Amazing X-Men #15. Why does a comic like that still get published in the very crowded X-franchise? Find out in my review!
Comic Reviews: Batgirl #38, Batman Eternal #41, Captain Marvel #11, SHIELD #2, Silver Surfer #8 and Star Wars #1.
The 6 Greatest Comic Book Santas
Let’s get this out of the way first: Santa Claus is real. Totally real. He’s big, he’s jolly, his white beard is legend and he lives on the North Pole making toys for all the good little girls and boys of the world. He uses time zones to his advantage when flying around the world in one night, and his reindeer fly using magick. Boom, mystery solved! If he wasn’t real, why would I, a 28-year-old man, still be getting presents marked ‘From: Santa’ under the Christmas tree? Can’t explain that!
Also not every kid in the world celebrates Christmas, so that cuts down on his time considerably.
It also helps that he's sometimes a vampire
Santa Claus is such a popular guy that he’s one of the biggest celebrities on the planet, and is always appearing in movies, TV shows and more. Whether he’s selling Coca Cola, being put on trial on 34th Street or getting his testicles electrocuted by terrorists in Iraq on South Park, Santa Claus spends a lot of his free time in show business. He’s even made more than a few appearances in comic books. Back in the 40s and 50s, Santa had his own funny books. And Silver Age superheroes like old-timey Batman and Superman were always willing to lend the jolly old elf a hand. But he’s not always portrayed as quite so jolly. Or quite so non-homicidal.
And we’re not talking about stories starring a mall Santa or just a guy in a Santa costume – like the time vampire-slayer Blade had to kill a mall Santa who was possessed by a murderous demon – we’re talking the real deal Kris Kringle himself!
Read on to see the 6 best comic book appearances of Santa Claus!
Henchman-4-Hire 