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6 Women I’d Pick for the Fearless Defenders
Picking my own superhero team lineups has become a bit of a game here at Henchman-4-Hire, one I love playing and sharing with you readers. Who among us hasn’t thought up their own ultimate Avengers lineup in their heads? Who among us hasn’t wished for a chance to pitch to Marvel their awesome new X-Force roster?
How about the Fearless Defenders?
I would sell my first born’s soul for Amanda Conner to draw the comic
This list started as characters I would add to Cullen Bunn’s Fearless Defenders series – but the comic got the ax after only a dozen issues. I didn’t read it as much as I should have, but the idea of a women-only superhero team (or at least one with a single token male) could be a lot of fun, and it definitely makes a statement in the world of comics. So join me, won’t you, in coming up with our own ideal Fearless Defenders squad!
The 6 Characters on My Avengers Team
San Diego Comic-Con is this weekend, and to celebrate, I’ve put together a List of Six that may be one of the purest forms of comic book geekery: what is my ideal Avengers lineup? What is my dream team? We’ve played this game several times before with the Sinister Six and X-Force, well now I’m setting my sights on the big guys. The game is simple, and as a comic book geek, I think it’s fantastically fun: if I were hired to write an Avengers comic, and had free reign over what characters to put on the team, who would I pick? Who would you pick?
The Avengers are very different from the Justice League over at DC Comics. I could never do one of these lists for the Justice League, because my ideal lineup for that team is the same as everybody else: use the top 7 classic Justice Leaguers: Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Flash, Green Lantern, Aquaman, and Martian Manhunter. That’s the perfect Justice League, hands down. No need to debate. But the Avengers are very different. The Avengers are not just made up of the top superheroes over at Marvel. The Avengers are their own little family of superheroes, known more for being Avengers than for being solo heroes. And if I were to make a team of Avengers, I definitely wouldn’t put popular characters like Spider-Man or Wolverine on the team just because they sell.
I have my own ideas. And I’m sure you have yours. Join me after the jump for the characters I would put on my Avengers team. And please share your own ideal lineup in the comments!
The 6 Characters on My Random X-Force Team
Why is Marvel putting out two separate but incredibly similar X-Force comics these days? Alright, stupid question. The answer is to make more money, obviously. That’s why there are so many different X-Men titles. But from a creative standpoint, what the heck is Marvel thinking? I have read both Cable and X-Force and Uncanny X-Force, as well as various creator interviews, and it looks to me like the two books might as well be mirror images of one another. Both are about a random assortment of X-characters randomly banding together to fight a random threat. What happened to the days of yore, when the name ‘X-Force’ actually stood for something? When the title was used to tell new, off-kilter stories that were different from the normal X-Men?
Cable and X-Force is about Cable, Domino, Forge, Hope, Colossus and Dr. Nemesis battling the techno-organic virus. Uncanny X-Force is about Storm, Psylocke, Puck, Spiral and Fantomex battling a new designer drug, and possibly Bishop. If you don’t read comics regularly, then it’s possible that those two sentences don’t make a lick of sense. But even if you do read comics, it’s like the Marvel writers just threw darts at a wall of character names to decide who was going to appear in their version of X-Force.
And that sounds like an awesome game! So being the creative guy that I am, I’ve decided to play it as well. If Marvel suddenly decides to give me the reigns to create my own random X-Force team – let’s call it ‘X-Treme X-Force’ – then these are the 6 characters I would use.
My Sinister 6
Spider-Man has one of the wildest Rogues Galleries in all of comics, literally. Nearly all of them are based off some kind of wild animal. That makes for a nice consistency. And one key component of Spidey’s baddies over the years has been the Sinister Six. Back in 1964, six of Spidey’s greatest villains teamed up to take him on as a group, because none of them could beat him on their own. Essentially they all sat down and someone said, “Gentlemen, we’re going to kill Spider-Man!”
It didn’t work. They lost.
The first Sinister Six was composed of Doctor Octopus, Mysterio, Electro, Sandman, Vulture and Kraven the Hunter. That team stayed pretty consistent throughout the years, with a few additions and subtractions here and there. They basically always teamed up to kill Spider-Man, though sometimes also to commit crimes.
Well today I’m going to debut my vision of an even better Sinister Six! The idea of some of the big bad guys teaming up just to kill Spider-Man is passe. Nowadays the Sinister Six should be more working-class, more street-level guys banding together to accomplish something. Kill Spider-Man, sure; but being super criminals should come first.
It should be no surprise that DC Comics’ Secret Six is a big influence on what a villain team should be.
1. Lady Octopus: Villainous mastermind and brains of the operation!
She's all hands
It’s true! There’s a Lady Octopus! She is an obscure character (my favorite kind!) who hasn’t been seen much since she debuted in the mid-90s as a part of the Clone Saga. That makes her perfect for revamping into something new and spectacular! Just cut away all the crappy baggage she had back in the day and make her sleek, new and exciting. Get rid of the armored costume and give her something more subtle and a little bit sexy. Keep the Doc Ock arms, but make them more stream-lined and less mechanical. And pink hair is always cool. When she debuted, she was all about Cyberspace, back when the Internet was called the Information Superhighway and nobody really knew what it would become. They can keep the interest in the Internet, just don’t get insane about it. She’d be the new mastermind of the team, the one who brings everyone together for her nefarious schemes!
2. The Spot: Transport and some comic relief.
Make it rain!
My faithful readers first met the Spot on my list of 6 Favorite Comic Book Characters, so it shouldn’t be any surprise that I’d want him for my team. Should I ever get to try my hand at writing a Marvel comic, I have big plans for the Spot. He has the super power of creating portals out of thin air and then using them to transport himself and anything else over great distances. So clearly he’d be great as a teleport-for-hire sort of guy. Saves the team from having to rent a truck, or something. So he’d be great for that. He’s also an amazing visual. The Spot is just fun to look at. A recent appearance made him something of an arrogant comic relief, and I’d keep that while also giving him some of the recent back bone he’s developed.
3. The Rhino: Strong silent type, the muscle.
Run for your life!!
Just look at that picture, read those captions. The Rhino is no longer the big, blundering fool he used to be. There was a story in Amazing Spider-Man not too long ago that had the Rhino retiring from crime because he’d fallen in love. He went to prison, served his time and then got out and married the woman. Then some Rhino wannabe came on the scene with a new mechanical suit and challenged the old Rhino to a fight. Spider-Man stepped in and had a cool scene where he told the old Rhino to go home to his wife, Spidey would handle this new guy because that’s what Spider-Man does. And Rhino listened! It was a brilliant story, really humanizing this long-standing joke character.
Then a few issues later, the bad guys came back into the picture and killed the Rhino’s new wife. He went off the deep end then, becoming the monster you see in the picture above. So now he’s tough, strong and super angry. I’d keep all those things going with Rhino on the Sinister Six.
4. Hobgoblin: Insane, funny wildcard.
Take that, Spider-Man!
Another character from my list of favorites, the Phil Urich Hobgoblin. This choice is mostly fanboyism. I love the character, I want to see more of him and this would be the perfect opportunity. It would give Phil a higher profile. Hobgoblin has a long-standing history with the Sinister Six, so throw him back on the team. He’s wildly crazy, in a fun way, and would be the perfect wildcard (like Charlie Kelly). Marvel is trying to make this Hobgoblin a legitimate character, and I’m all for it!
5. Scorpion: Tough, angry veteran.
And that!
Mac Gargan, the Scorpion, has been around forever. He was even Venom for a few years. But he’s back now as the Scorpion, with a badass costume and a return to glory as a bitter, angry, henchman-for-hire. He was originally a private eye hired by J. Jonah Jameson to get some dirt on Spider-Man. Then JJJ went the extra mile and paid for some Science to turn Gargan into the Scorpion. Gargen’s been half-insane and bitter at JJJ ever since. Plus as a kid, I loved scorpions (still do), so this guy was always one of my favorites. He was never a member of the comic book Sinister Six, but he was on the cartoon show, when they were called the Insidious Six.
One has to assume that FOX Kids in the 90s just didn’t like the word ‘sinister’. They also wouldn’t let Spider-Man punch anybody.
6. The Shocker: Heart of the team, the put-upon every-man just trying to get by.
Not the 'shocker' you're thinking about
The Shocker, Herman Schultz, is the ultimate working-class super-villain; so he’s a real hero of mine. This is a guy who just wants to make a buck. He’s not in this game to be a super-villain or ‘kill Spider-Man’. He’s just a crook doing his thing. And that’s fantastic. I want to write a Shocker solo series. I want more Shocker. Here is a schlub, a working stiff, a guy that readers can really relate to. He was a safe-cracker who invented a pair of gauntlets that release a vibrational frequency that would destroy the safes. But they vibrate so powerfully he also had to design a protective suit for himself. So that’s why he looks like a costume super-villain. His costume actually serves a function!
So The Shocker would be the star of my Sinister Six series. He’s the sort of guy you can write about taking the subway, or standing in line for coffee or complaining about making rent for the month. He’s perfect.
And special thanks for friend-of-the-site Alyssa for this list suggestion. If you have a suggestion for my Lists of Six, put it in the comments!
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