‘Spider-Men’ is as Obvious as Everyone Thought
Breaking news this morning is that the regular Marvel Universe and the Ultimate Marvel Universe are finally going to have a crossover called Spider-Men, in which Peter Parker is going to meet and trounce evil alongside Miles Morales. It’ll be a 5-issue mini-series starting in June. This story has been teased for a few months now, but it wasn’t until today that Marvel revealed that the ‘Spider-Men’ in the title were Peter and Miles.
But I, and I’m pretty sure everybody else, already guessed this months ago.
I didn’t report on it then because it was just a tease, and frankly I just didn’t feel like it because I’m not very interested in this idea.
I guess it falls to young Miles to tell Peter Parker about the brutal murder of Ultimate Peter Parker
Maybe I could have been interested a few years ago, when the Ultimate Universe meant something. But after Ultimatum and the rest of the crap that the Ultimate Universe has been through the past years, it doesn’t matter anymore. It’s worthless, dried up and far more bound and complicated by its own continuity than the normal Marvel Universe.
The Ultimate Universe is no longer special. So who cares if normal Peter Parker happens to meet the Spider-Man of the Ultimate Universe? Peter Parker has probably met a bunch of alternate versions of himself, or been exposed to concepts like the Multiverse. It’s just not going to be all that important to him.
Whereas it could absolutely ruin the young Miles Morales.
So basically the story is going to revolve around an 11-year-old kid hanging out with a 30+-year-old man
Regular readers of my blog will know that I’m currently reviewing Miles’ series, the Ultimate Comics: All-New Spider-Man. And I’m really enjoying it. Writer Brian Michael Bendis and regular artist Sara Pichelli are telling one fantastic story about a young boy who gets spider-powers and decides to do the right thing and pick up where Peter Parker (now dead) left off. It’s a very grounded tale, with Miles juggling his family, his school work and the fact that he doesn’t know the first thing about being a superhero or how to fight people. It’s a good book.
But at only 9 issues so far, the last thing it needs is to be thrown into some insane cross-dimensional story that has him meeting an adult version of the kid he’s replaced.
I’ve said this in my reviews: it will only hurt the grounded, realistic tone of Miles Morales’ comic if you start including references to the more insane parts of superheroics. He’s still taking baby steps into the world of being a hero. Don’t spoil it for something like this.
But no doubt it will sell and make money, so most likely an editor wanted it to happen.
Here’s a quote from Spider-Men writer Bendis about the mini-series:
“For the 50th anniversary of Spider-Man, what everyone was looking for was a Spider-Man story that mattered,” says series writer Brian Michael Bendis. “Well, here you go.”
Then if we read the Bleeding Cool version of this story, the writers from that site remember that Bendis has always said that he doesn’t even consider the Ultimate Universe to be an alternate universe to the normal Marvel. He’s always been opposed to some kind of crossover. So read his comment again with that in mind.
I just hope it doesn’t matter too much.
You can read more about this here.
6 Spider-Man ‘Brand New Day’ Villains Who Crashed and Burned
There are few comic book stories more likely to send fans into a screaming rage than ‘Spider-Man: One More Day’. The basic idea was that Marvel Comics wanted Spider-Man to appeal to a younger audience, and they didn’t think little kids wanted to read about Peter Parker’s long-standing marriage to Mary Jane Watson. Even though that relationship was the backbone of the movie trilogy. But they couldn’t make Spider-Man a divorcee or a widower, because that would also age him in the eyes of young readers.
So Marvel’s answer was for Spider-Man to make a deal with the Devil to magically change history so that Peter and Mary Jane were never actually married, and that they were just boyfriend and girlfriend for a very long time. A deal with the Devil!
Marvel: Because who needs the sanctity of marriage, right?
Needless to say, the fans were outraged! I was one of those fans.
But one of the simple truths about loving comic books is that, in the end, all of us fans are just clinging to the stories and creative ideas of a handful of writers and editors, who are just real people like us. And they have a business to run. They wanted Peter Parker to be a swinging single, so they just went ahead and wrote it into the comics.
The ‘deal with the devil’ storyline was called ‘One More Day’, and it led directly to a new storyline called ‘Brand New Day’. The idea here was to give Spider-Man a fresh start. He wasn’t being rebooted, per se. Everything that had happened to him had still happened, it’s just that Peter and Mary Jane were only ever boyfriend and girlfriend, and now they were broken up so that Peter could be single again. The writers also decided to freshen up the Spider-Man comics by giving him some new friends, new supporting characters and new super-villains. They wanted to make Spider-Man feel fresh and new, while still maintaining him as the same Spider-Man as always.
Well I’m here to tell you that pretty much every new super-villain and status quo change created for Brand New Day crashed and burned. It shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone that the current big summer Spider-Man story “Ends of the Earth” is all about classic villains Doctor Octopus and the Sinister Six. Or last summer, the big ‘Spider Island’ storyline had the Jackal and Kaine as lead villains.
May this list be righteous justification to all the fans who hated ‘One More Day/Brand New Day’.
Internet Apocalypse
With an old favourite, the Internet band known as the Gag Quartet gathers the memes in an epic explodageddon of sheer brilliance.
This video was created in 2011, a time that will henceforth be known as the year the Internet collectively declared itself to be a sovereign state of Awesome. Enjoy.
Badass New Resident Evil 6 Trailer
I love a good Resident Evil game as much as the next person, and this trailer is pretty sweet. It provides a lot more detail than the initial announcement trailer. Not only will the game star Leon Kennedy and Chris Redfield, but they will meet for the first time in the series and they will come to blows. As a geek who loves game mythologies, that’s pretty awesome. We also see the return of Sherry Birkin, the little girl from Resident Evil 2, and Ada Wong, who is always a hoot. The new character seems to be the son of Albert Weskin though, which is kind of lame. They need to stop using Wesker as a villain in this series. Find somebody totally new.
Anyway, if you’re as excited about Resident Evil 6 as I am, you’ll love this trailer.
Polymorphic Autonomous Compound MANipulator
Or ‘Pac-Man’ for short.
I swear, there must be a farm somewhere that grows small groups of nerds who do nothing but make funny and geeky Internet videos all day. They usually include several dorky looking guys, and at least one hot chick. Yesterday we had live action Hey Arnold! and Doug, today we have a live action Pac-Man. And it’s awesome! The graphics of Pac-Man and the Ghosts are absolutely amazing. If this is the kind of work that amateur computer graphic artists are doing these days, then the future will be very cool indeed.
This movie is brought to us by the people at Machinima.
