Category Archives: Video Games
There Are More Giant Little Girls in Mass Effect Than I Remember
The glory that is Tobuscus is back with a Literal interpretation of the Mass Effect 3 trailer. You may remember him from that Literal Lord of the Rings trailer that I posted and loved? Well I love this one just as much! I may now spend my entire afternoon watching Tobuscus Literal trailers.
Also, I plan to get Mass Effect 3 one of these days…
Top 6 Video Game Henchmen
Boss characters have been a video game staple ever since Mario jumped on that button and dropped King Koopa into the lava. But a boss is only going to get so far if he doesn’t have good henchmen! Mini-bosses, minions, troopers and more are the perfect filler to extend a rivalry between the hero and his mortal enemy. When Princess Toadstool is kidnapped, does Mario just storm Koopa’s castle to get her back? No way! He’s got level after level of grunts and goombas to fight through. When the Shredder kidnaps April O’Neil to the Technodrome, do the Ninja Turtles take the fight straight to the Shredder? Nope! They’ve got to kick Bebop and Rockseady’s asses several times first.
The best part is when they crash into each other. Hilarious
Today’s list are the Top 6 Video Game Henchmen of all time, from all games. It’s important to note the distinction between a true henchman and just a bad guy. Henchmen work for a higher boss figure. So when you fight the Flood in Halo, you’re not fighting henchmen, you’re just fighting monsters. Henchmen are minions. Henchmen can be individuals or they can be a large group.
So join me to see the Top 6 Henchmen from video games.
I Live In Assassin’s Creed 3!
Holy crap, everybody! My living in Rome, NY for the past 6+ years of my life has finally paid off! Based on the new trailer to Assassin’s Creed 3, released today, a lot of the action is going to take place in the Mohawk Valley. I live in the Mohawk Valley! Maybe not exactly, but close enough!
Maybe I’ll see something I recognize…not that I’ve done any historical research on my current geographical area of residence…
I read somewhere online recently that video game trailers are far too good for themselves. The quality of computer animated videos these days is astounding, and is in no way matched by the actual gameplay graphics. So when I show you this newly released trailer to Assassin’s Creed 3, know that none of this may actually be physical gameplay from the game.
But it sure do look purdy!
The game will be released on Halloween!
That trailer looks pretty badass, and answers a question my brother raised: there don’t need to be cities and rooftops when you can parkour around forests and stuff. But that’s not to say there won’t be cities. The game is rumored to have some segments take place in New York City and Boston. There were buildings there!
See? Buildings
So far we also know that the protagonist’s name is Conner, and that he is of both Mohawk Indian and British decent. So yeah, this is basically turning out to be a pretty badass looking game. Now if only I can get myself an HD TV by the end of October…
Assassin’s Creed Comes to America, F*** Yeah!
Bits and pieces of information and rumors have been leaking out about the highly anticipated Assassin’s Creed 3, but the people at Ubisoft have just come right out and told us now that it’s going to take place during the American Revolution, baby!
America the Beautiful!
I did not see this development coming, but I absolutely love it! The American Revolution is such an exciting time in history, and considering the Assassin’s Creed devotion to historic details and people, it’s going to be like a walk through a wonderful text book to play this game. Renaissance Italy was fun, but what do I know or care about Renaissance Italy? I’m an American, and I want a game where I get to cross the Delaware with George freakin’ Washington!
As this post at MightyGodKing points out, though, this is one of the last eras that the game makers can use before automatic guns start taking over. That would put a fast end to their rooftop knife fights and swordplay, the corner stones of the series. But according to Game Informer, the team making Assassin’s Creed 3 has been working on this game from the ground up. So maybe they’ve found a better way to incorporate muskets and pistols and with the hidden knife assassinations. I have complete faith in their brilliance.
I will be getting it for the X-Box 360
No details on the story or main character just yet. But Game Informer promises a full reveal in their next issue…whenever that comes out.
I’m just surprised that Assassin’s Creed 3 isn’t going to be about Desmond in modern day New York City. Now that would be a game.
Maybe I should back up and explain to our non-Assassin’s Creed fans.
6 Unreasonable Things I Want in the Next Grand Theft Auto
Grand Theft Auto 5 is coming out later this year, so it’s probably too late to squeeze any of my demands into that game. But seeing as how this is A.) my blog, B.) America, and C.) that Grand Theft Auto 6 is an inevitability, I feel pretty confident that I can demand any fool thing I want. I wrote previously that GTA5 needs to make sure it improves the money system. They need to give us more things to buy than were available in GTA4. That’s a reasonable request. These 6 suggestions are rather unreasonable, and you’ll see why. But I make these requests for one very specific and important reason.
Don't pretend that GTAs 7-10 aren't also a sure thing
The Grand Theft Auto series has become the greatest real world simulation ever.
This was especially evident in Grand Theft Auto 4, where Rockstar studios created a lush, realistic, video game version of New York City and populated it with both the fantastic and the mundane. I cannot be the only gamer who spent time just walking down the sidewalks of Liberty City, admiring the visuals, the physics and the ebb and flow of this virtual city. And I know I’m not the only gamer who then pulled out his rocket launcher, blew up a city bus and then led police on a high-speed car chase through the streets of virtual Manhattan.
Because Grand Theft Auto, of course, has mastered the sandbox game play. Where you can do anything you want in a large open world – but only in their limited world with the limited toys they have given you. I think Rockstar studios should broaden their horizons and have some fun with the worlds they have created.
Henchman-4-Hire 