Walls. We all have them. They serve a very important function in our lives. Sometimes they’re good, sometimes they’re bad. They’re walls. They’re totally a thing. And on this auspicious day, I’ve decided to do an internet superhero listicle about characters whose power is to be a wall, make a wall or just be wall-like.

You might be asking yourself, where did this even come from? The idea was inspired by two characters on this list who I randomly happened to notice in my life in close proximity. They’re not A-list characters. They’re not about to headline the next Marvel Disney+ show. But they exist, they are documented, and it sent me on a journey to find others like them in the annals of comic book history. Maybe next time I’ll do a list of characters who are floors or characters who are chairs.

Join me after the jump for, quite possibly, the silliest comic book character list I’ve ever done. Six characters who are walls.

6. Syndablokk

The Empowered series by Adam Warren is a great comic and deserves more recognition. It’s cute, it’s funny, it’s full of great characters, both main characters and background. Volume 11 was a frickin’ masterpiece, and a quick Google search just told me that Volume 12 is both real and coming out later this year! Awesome! Anyway, among those great background characters is Syndablokk, a superhero with cinderblocks for his head and hands. He has the power to control masonry, like sidewalks and walls, though he doesn’t use the power much because of the property damage. Still, he seems like a fun guy. Perhaps he’s more cinderblock than wall, specifically, but I assure you that characters will become more wall-like as this list goes on.

5. Stonewall

Stonewall is really only a wall in name and costume, and that’s enough for this list, for now. He’s an old mutant with enhanced strength and endurance. He was a WWII veteran who joined up with Freedom Force in the 1990s, alongside fellow aging mutants Silver Sabre and Crimson Commando. He did a whole lot of nothing before eventually getting killed off.

4. Bunker

Bunker was a new Teen Titan introduced at the start of the New 52 who seems to have since disappeared from any such team consideration. I think maybe he had a small role in Titans Academy? Bunker was a new LGBTQ+ character with the fun power of creating purple wall constructs. And they looked like walls, complete with brick textures. So he wasn’t just a purple Green Lantern. Bunker made purple energy construct walls with psionic bricks. That’s pretty wall-like to me.

3. Wall

Günter Gross was a German mutant whose wall-based powers activated when the Berlin Wall fell on top of him. Such an origin story would only really work in a comic as wild as X-Statix, and of course Gross was a member of the super-villain team Euro-Trash. That was a wild comic. Wall had merged with the Berlin Wall and could warp his body around the pieces to use them as barriers and walls. Simple enough. And like most X-Statix villains or supporting characters, he was quickly killed.

2. The Wall

So, uh, I’m not sure how to explain this other than to just state it, but the X-Statix world has a second character with wall-based powers based on the Berlin Wall. The Wall, named Rosa Lemper, was born in East Berlin at the exact moment the Berlin Wall fell (possibly onto Günter Gross), and she then developed a mutant resemblance to masonry and the ability to morph her body into walls and the like. She’s a new member of X-Statix and has managed to survive this long, so good for him. But seriously, X-Statix has two different characters named Wall who have a connection to the Berlin Wall. It’s wild.

1. The Wall

And here he is, the character who inspired this list, alongside Rosa Lemper, who actually appears in modern comics. Behold The Wall, villain of Spider-Man! Joshua Waldemeyer was a seemingly ordinary brick-layer when a mysterious explosion caused the wall he was working on to fuse with his body, turning him into a living wall! This newly minted villain immediately interrupted a New York Mets baseball game, before the umps told him and Spidey to beat it. The villain and hero left the stadium to talk out their issues. Sadly, that was The Wall’s only comic book appearance. Why he has not been revived for the Marvel Cinematic Universe is beyond me.

I just think he’s neat.

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