I didn’t read Three Jokers. It sounded silly. And from what I could glean from the internet, it wasn’t very good. But I’m pretty busy at work this week, and the Election in America is very anxiety-inducing, so this is going to be a quick, silly list about triplicated super-villains!

So yeah, what happened in Three Jokers? I didn’t even read summaries. I guess the Joker went and indoctrinated two other guys to be Jokers as well? Or the Joker has always been multiple people? I don’t know and I don’t care. I’m just going to spend the next half an hour or so coming up with funny entries for comic book super-villains who could maybe have three versions? And the superheroes never found out? Sounds like fun!

6. Three Riddlers

Why not? Here’s your obvious sequel to Three Jokers, DC Comics. Just make three Riddlers. I think it fits perfectly. Edward Nygma hired some dudes to pretend to be the Riddler until there were three of them, all part of some kind of puzzle to trick Batman? I’m not good enough at riddles to come up with the punchline for you. It just works.

5. Three Darkseids

How many Darkseids have there been? Just the one? That’s silly! There could be so many Darkseids! Specifically three. Three Darkseids. Maybe when the original Darkseid dies, one of his followers takes up his mantle. Maybe Darkseid is a title. Or becomes a title. Makes sense to me.

4. Three Punchlines

So the second and third Jokers are not the only hot new thing at DC Comics. What about Punchline? The new knock-off Harley Quinn? DC was super excited about introducing her and we recently learned her secret identity. Well wouldn’t it be the shock of all shocks to learn that she was only one of three Punchlines that Joker had up his sleeve? Talk about mind = blown!

3. Three Black Cats

Three Catwomen would be silly. But what about her non-union Marvel counterpart? The Black Cat? Having three of her would be perfect! Or should I say…purrfect? Yes, that’s better. Maybe she decides to franchise her costumed identity and that’s how we get three of them? Good enough.

2. Three Magnetos

I can’t remember if this has already been done or not. I know Xorn was posing as Magneto for a while. And then Joseph was a clone of Magneto who posed as him for a long time. Hey! There’s the story right there! Magneto reveals that he, Xorn and Joseph have been in cahoots for decades in an organized ruse for there to be multiple Magnetos at any given time. That explains how he’s still alive after surviving the Holocaust. Story written.

1. Three Slydes

I feel like there being three Slydes would really bake the noodle of any good comic book fan! It would answer so many questions about this dashing villain, while also posing so many more! How could there be three Slydes? It doesn’t make any sense! Wouldn’t Spider-Man figure it out? I don’t know. All of that is for future writers to decide. I expect Marvel to hit me up any day now for my upcoming mini-series Three Slydes.

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