In a previous decade, the content of Teen Titans #4 would have made me ecstatic. It’s an issue about Tim Drake using his brains and his skills to defeat an infinitely more powerful foe. It should be a testament to just how damn cool Robin can be. But this is Teen Titans in the New 52, so don’t anybody get their hopes up.

What Teen Titans #4 is instead is a showcase for writer Will Pfeifer’s S.T.A.R. Labs plot and his apparent love of Manchester Black. So simmer down, Tim Drake fans; despite his starring role in the issue, he has zero personal impact on the story.

Comic Rating: 5/10 – Alright.

Is it really so hard to write a comic that’s actually about the Teen Titans? I’m not sure if the previous writer, Scott Lobdell, ever managed to do it in 30+ issues. Lobdell only ever wrote about his plots or the bad guys; rarely did his stories ever actually grow from the Titans themselves. Even when he wrote about the characters’ origins, it was never about them. Wonder Girl’s origin story was all about her ex-boyfriend the super-villain, and Kid Flash’s origin story was all about this big space civil war and his role in that.

Pfeifer is a little better, but he’s relegated all of the stories about the Titans themselves to merely sub-plots. The main plot, the one about the villainous Algorithm and her attacks on S.T.A.R., is all about Algorithm and her villainous boss, Manchester Black. Teen Titans #4, especially, is all about Black and his drama. Tim Drake just happens to be caught up in that drama. But for all Tim actually does to drive or impact Black’s story, he could be swapped for any other Titan or any other superhero, for that matter.

And Teen Titans #4 also features one of the most baffling endings I have ever read in this comic. The only reasonable explanation for this ending is that Pfeifer is just toying with us and it’s totally fake. Otherwise, Teen Titans is just never going to get any better.

Join me after the jump for the full synopsis and more review!

So Red Robin has been stomped by Algorithm after breaking into S.T.A.R. Labs. She chooses to monologue instead of just killing him, and Robin is able to escape by smacking her in the head with a high voltage batarang. Good for him! But here’s the thing…she calls him ‘Tim’. In fact, both Algorithm and Manchester Black know that his name is ‘Timothy Drake’.

Algorithm is terrible at villainous banter

I have a problem with that.

Red Robin is a member of the Bat-Family, and you don’t get to just know the secret identity of a member of the Bat-Family! That’s not how this works! Scott Snyder wrote a hugely important Joker story over in Batman based around the threat of the Joker finding out their secret identities. The Joker. Algorithm and Manchester Black are no Joker, so how come they get to know his true identity?

For another thing, ‘Timothy Drake’ is a cover identity. Tim gave up his real name when he became Red Robin. From the moment he chose ‘Timothy Drake’ as his new name, he was Batman’s apprentice, constructing a brand new life to better serve his new career as a vigilante. So how is there any evidence or documentation linking Timothy Drake to Red Robin? Timothy Drake is a forgery. His life, his friends, his family and his connection to Bruce Wayne are all constructed by Tim. And we’ve never seen any indication that Tim had a social life or a personal life of any kind in the New 52 after he became ‘Timothy Drake’. He has only ever been Red Robin in every single appearance in the New 52. So the identity of ‘Timothy Drake’ should only exist on paper.

So how do Algorithm and Manchester Black, of all people, know that Timothy Drake and Red Robin are one and the same when ‘Timothy Drake’ is a fictitious identity under Tim’s complete control?

For that matter, Timothy Drake only exists in the New 52 as an extension of Bruce Wayne. Tim makes public appearances with Bruce (as seen in Batman), and people know about their connection, as once referenced by Cullen and Harper Row. So to know that Tim Drake is Red Robin is to know Red Robin is connected to Bruce Wayne. Do Algorithm and Manchester Black, OF ALL PEOPLE, get to know that Bruce Wayne is Batman?!

Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that Pfeiffer’s Teen Titans is kind of full of plot holes. We’ll see another big one in a few moments. Frankly, the issue is full of them.

So Red Robin flees Algorithm and starts to outsmart her. He breaks into a computer lab and is able to turn her control of the facility against her.

Batman never smirks for the camera

See, that’s one of the things we love most about Batman and Robin: they don’t have powers, but they are clearly the best at what they do! It’s classic! But this issue is not about Tim being awesome. See that smug smirk on Manchester’s face? The issue is about that. But more on it later.

Red Robin hacks into one of the computers and is somehow able to scan employee social media and e-mail chatter to determine that something weird has been going on in the sub-basement, and he believes it to be a weapon he can use to stop Algorithm. The problem is that the sub-basement is heavily armored and impossible to breach, but he’s confident he can figure out how to get in.

We then cut from Red Robin to join the rest of the Titans, Wonder Girl, Bunker and Beast Boy, as they walk home. The last time we saw them, they were at a late night diner, and now they all have doggie bags. And herein lies the second major plot hole.

For you see, waiting for them outside Wonder Girl’s apartment is that big gang of Wonder Girl groupies, as well as her mother.

Yes, Beast Boy is a dog carrying a doggie bag

If you’ll recall last issue, Cassie’s mom telephoned her while Cassie was at the diner in the middle of the meal. While they were talking, the gang of groupies showed up outside the apartment and demanded that mom get off the phone. Cassie thought her mom had hung up on her, and didn’t even know that her mom was in the city. This creates a bit of a timing issue.

Cassie, Bunker and Beast Boy were still eating when Cassie’s mom got off the phone, so it’s safe to assume they stayed at the diner for awhile afterwards. Then they had to get the doggie bags, pay for their meals, and enjoy a leisurely stroll back towards Cassie’s apartment. This all had to have taken at least an hour, right? Is that reasonable?

So why are the groupies and Cassie’s mom still outside her apartment?! What the hell have they been doing for the past hour?!

To make matters worse, when Cassie spots them all, she shockingly yells out, “MOM!” and all the groupies are suddenly surprised to learn the woman’s identity.

“…I’m not sticking around to play this scene out.”

So what the hell is going on here? Do they somehow know that Wonder Girl lives in this apartment building? And if so, do they frequently drop by to stand around outside? If that’s the case, how come Wonder Girl has never heard of them before? And if they know that it’s Wonder Girl’s apartment, why were they hassling Cassie’s mom? Why tell her to get off the telephone? Do they hassle everybody who hangs out around Wonder Girl’s apartment building? What about her neighbors? And if they make it a habit of hassling everybody who hangs out around Cassie’s building, what were they doing for the past hour while Cassie walked home from the diner? It clearly never came up in conversation that the woman was Wonder Girl’s mom, so what the heck were they all talking about? Was this massive group of a dozen women unable to dislodge this sole lady from her seat on the stoop? Was that even their goal? Or did they all just kind of sit around in silence, accomplishing nothing?

And what if the groupies didn’t know this was Wonder Girl’s building? Do they just randomly loiter around apartment buildings telling strange women to get off their cell phones? I thought they were mad at men!

So none of this makes any sense, but I still really like this subplot. Unfortunately, before Pfeifer does anything with this subplot, the Titans receive Red Robin’s distress call and take off.

Nobody ever cares about the green, talking dog

But as we’ll see in a few pages, that goes nowhere. The Titans don’t arrive in time to help Red Robin. So Pfeifer cut short one of his more interesting subplots for no good reason!

Moving on.

Back at S.T.A.R. Labs, we see Red Robin’s big plan for thwarting Algorithm: he tricks her into blowing up an elevator.

Red Robin waits inside an elevator with the door open until Algorithm spots him, then once again slowly walks towards him monologuing while he presses the ‘door close’ button.

Elevators are his secret weapon

Then when she starts to send the elevator crashing down the shaft, Red Robin climbs up through the hatch in the roof (which clearly all elevators have) and throws some explosives onto the floor. That way, when it crashes into the ground, the bombs go off and he blows open a hole into the sub-basement. That’s his big plan. With little more than dumb luck, he’s able to accurately manipulate Algorithm into blowing up an elevator in the exactly perfect way he needs. Great.

Once he’s in the sub-basement, he finds the super secret weapon, which is just a big gun. Algorithm shows up a few seconds later and promptly makes him look like an ass.

Smooth move, dingus

Also, that’s one of Tim’s teeth being knocked out in the punch. Remember that, because it comes up later.

So finally we come to the climax of the story and why Red Robin doesn’t matter. What exactly has he accomplished so far? A little bit of hacking, a little bit of manipulation, and a blown up elevator. Great. Good for him. But what is that really? Has he connected with Algorithm in any way? Has he had any real interaction with anybody but himself in this issue? No. Instead, the comic suddenly becomes about Algorithm and Manchester Black when he reveals that this was all a set up.

Your look got too stupid, now you have to die

Black spends the next page or so revealing that Algorithm was built solely to get him this far, and that now he’s going to destroy her, just because. Everything she thought was special about her was all just programming, and he gets her so angry that she immediately teleports to his control room to kill him. That, of course, was also part of his plan, and Manchester turns on some cameras and starts begging for his life. Algorithm again monologues for a bit before realizing that it’s not like him to beg, that something is wrong. That hesitation gives Red Robin plenty of time to come into the control room and blow her up with his secret weapon.

All part of Black’s ridiculous plan.

Such a dingus

Take a good look at Manchester Black in that picture. Not only is he British with a beard, but he’s got pink hair and is wearing an open leather jacket, revealing a strange pink and blue Union Jack on his chest (is that hair?). He’s also the only other person in S.T.A.R. Labs at the moment. How is it that Red Robin is not immediately suspicious of him?

Well he’s not, even when Manchester Black launches into an elaborate explanation of how Algorithm turned evil after being built by S.T.A.R., and that now S.T.A.R. needs to come out of the shadows and be a friendlier company. To do so, he suggests that S.T.A.R. Labs and the Teen Titans should team up. Red Robin responds like a total moron.

I told you that tooth would be stupidly important

I’m sorry, Red Robin, but are there suddenly rules about ‘teams’ in the DC Universe? Are teams not allowed to join forces in your world? And S.T.A.R. Labs isn’t a team like the Teen Titans are a team, Robin. He’s not proposing the joining of two superhero teams. Obviously S.T.A.R. would work with the Teen Titans, just like Black explains.

The other Titans show up at S.T.A.R., finally responding to Robin’s distress call, and they arrive just in time for Red Robin and Black to step out the front doors and announce the partnership between the two groups.

And this is baffling.

Reread Manchester’s pitch up there. He offers everything from a base to fixing Robin’s broken tooth with “no strings attached”. Now, if the Teen Titans really were just a team of superhero misfits, having Red Robin agree to join S.T.A.R. would make some sense. But this is Red Robin we’re talking about here. He is funded by Batman! He used an expensive batarang at the start of this issue! Red Robin has already bought the Titans a penthouse apartment and then their own yacht. He doesn’t need funding from S.T.A.R. And there’s no way in a million years Red Robin would believe anyone who says the words, “no strings attached”.

So you see, this ending doesn’t make any sense – unless Red Robin is just playing along with Black. And maybe that’s the case. Red Robin clearly understands that something strange is going on, so he plays along with Black to find out what. So either Red Robin is an idiot for taking Black at his word, or Black is an idiot for not realizing that Robin sees right through him. One of these characters is being an idiot right now, but Pfeifer isn’t treating them as such. Pfeifer’s Manchester Black acts like he’s the king of the world – and that’s exactly what I don’t like about this issue.

Despite Red Robin’s prominence, the star of this issue is Manchester Black. Pfeifer is clearly enjoying himself writing Black. He gets all the best lines, he has the most energy and wit. The only real drama in the issue comes from Black’s betrayal of Algorithm and the pain it puts her through. Black is the one who defeats her, manipulating Red Robin into doing his dirty work. Black is the one who gets several monologues, first telling Algorithm how easily he outsmarted her, and then selling Robin on the team-up idea.

But Manchester Black has never had anything to do with the Teen Titans, so who the hell cares? It’s not like Pfeifer is introducing a classic Titans villain to the New 52. He’s just having fun bringing Manchester Black in general into the New 52. The Teen Titans just happen to be along for the ride. Because honestly, have any of these past four issues actually been about the Titans themselves? There are plenty of Titan-related subplots, sure, but this main plot has been all about Manchester Black and S.T.A.R. Labs.

Which is another strange oddity. Was his plan all along to team up with the Teen Titans? Was that the end goal of creating Algorithm and sending her on all of those deadly missions? Why go to all that trouble? Why create someone as unstable as Algorithm? S.T.A.R. Labs is in pretty good standing with the community, why not just ask the Teen Titans to team up? Why go through all that dangerous hassle?

Because plot holes, that’s why.

Look, Teen Titans #4 is fine. Pfeifer’s writing is fine. It’s a somewhat engaging story, with a few good ideas simmering belong the surface. But Pfeifer’s focus is all wrong, as far as I’m concerned. He’s much too interested in whatever he’s cooking up with Manchester Black, and the Titans themselves are being shoved into the sidelines or the background. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’d been sitting on this ‘ultimate Manchester Black’ story for years, and now he’s finally found a place to use it. I just wish Pfeifer would focus more on the Titans. They’re the stars of this comic, they’re who I want to read about. Why couldn’t Robin have defeated Algorithm on his own? Why couldn’t we get some indication that Robin was playing Black for a fool?

Mostly I’m just disappointed with this issue of Teen Titans. Pfeifer is headed in some weird directions.

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