A couple months ago, I wrote a List of Six about things I love that everybody else seems to hate. A few of you suggested in the comments that I do the reverse list, so here we are. But this list was much harder to put together. ‘Hate’ is a much stronger word than ‘Love’, and I’m just not a hateful guy. I’m mostly apathetic to things I don’t like, especially when it comes to pop culture. Sure there are things in this world that I hate, like having to scrape off my car windshield on an icy morning or when my Internet connection dies.

Or peas, I absolutely hate peas. Worst food in the world!

Just looking at this picture makes me gag

But this is a pop culture blog, and I want to keep it that way. So I racked my brain and tried to think of six things in pop culture that I hate but everybody else seems to love. And it can’t just be things that are popular or successful that I hate. I despise the cult of celebrity that surrounds the Kardashians, but they remain popular – but they’re only popular to that certain cult of people. Most of us would readily agree that the Kardashians are terrible. So they don’t count.

I think I’ve got a solid list. Here are 6 things that I hate that most people, especially my fellow geeks, seem to love.

I apologize in advance if I start going on some vicious rants. And as always, please feel free to share some of your own hates in the comments!

6. Call of Duty

Pew Pew Pew! Kerplowie!

I hate playing Call of Duty games. I hate almost all modern military shooters. Back in the day I used to like them, when they were less complicated and a little more fun. But now they are complex, highly detailed, shoot’emfests that care more about realism than having a good time. And for some reason, I’m just terrible at them. I don’t have the skills or the response time or the whatever it takes to be a quality first-person shooter. I’ll spawn in a game and have enough time to walk around the corner before somebody finds me and kills me in one shot. I can unload bullet after bullet at them, but all it does is send my reticle flying around the screen like some spazz.

I’ve no doubt that people love playing these games and have a lot of fun, but not me. It’s also why I’ve always assumed I’d be terrible in a real war. Best to keep me back on the homefront writing nerdy blogs than putting me overseas. I’m also not a fan of how these games have basically become firearm advertisers.

5. Red, the Pokemon trainer

Definition of pretentious

This is probably the silliest entry on this list, but I hate the fandom that surrounds the character of Red, not to mention his entire existence. For those of you who don’t know, ‘Red’ is the official name of the protagonist from the first Pokemon game, even though you could name him whatever you want. He’s called ‘Red’ in the Manga, I think, and he has a large Internet following of hardcore Pokemon fans. Likewise, his rival is named ‘Blue’, and each subsequent game character is usually named after their game entry. I guess it makes sense, but in my opinion, Pokemon fans have taken it too far.

Ash from the cartoon is a perfectly competent and suitable mascot for Pokemon trainers.

He’s gonna be the very best

More people know Ash, and he pretty much looks exactly like Red. I’m pretty sure that was the point when they designed Ash. But then I don’t even understand the desire to treat these trainer sprites like their own characters. I’ve always renamed them however I want. That’s the entire point, to create your own Pokemon trainer.

To prefer Red over Ash essentially makes you the Pokemon hipster, and that’s just wrong.

4. The idea that Jor-El knew he was sending his son to Earth

“And he will land here, in Kansas.”

This entry has been stewing over and over in my head for awhile now, but I wasn’t sure I could make a whole List out of it, so I stuck it here. I hate the idea that, in Superman’s origin story, his father Jor-El specifically plots a course to send little baby Kal to Earth, knowing full well that Earth’s yellow sun will give him super-powers. I much prefer the idea that Kal-El’s rocket escaped Krypton with no destination in mind, and fate just happened to bring him to Earth and give him powers. I prefer the idea that Clark Kent alone decided to use his powers for good and become Superman.

I have no idea why I ever thought this was a viable origin, because almost every telling of the origin involves Jor-El picking Earth and its yellow sun. The original Superman movies, the most recent film, Man of Steel, all of the recent comic book re-tellings, and especially Smallville, all stick with Jor-El knowing all about the super-powers well in advance. So clearly everybody else loves the idea that Jor-El knew exactly what he was doing, and that he fully intended his son to get super-powers and then either rule the people of Earth or inspire them. But I hate it.

“No, I didn’t extend this sentient hologram technology to your mother.”

I especially hate Smallville‘s approach, where Jor-El visited Earth ahead of Clark, personally met the Kents and specifically chose them to raise his son. That idea is blasphemous to me! Clark crash-landing in Kansas should not be predetermined! That’s the whole point of Superman, that he was raised right and therefore decides to use his powers for good. It’s ridiculous to take that decision out of Clark’s hands and have his life story foretold by Jor-El.

I guess maybe I just hate giving Jor-El  any more attention than he deserves. As far as I’m concerned, Superman’s birth parents should remain just as mysterious and unattainable as all of Krypton. Plus, I just really didn’t like Russell Crowe’s role in Man of Steel. Not that I preferred Pa Kent in that movie either…

3. Actors talking about their roles

He doesn’t deserve what’s coming

Few things grind my gears more than actors talking about the roles they play, especially in superhero movies. I don’t like deifying actors in general, nor do I care for behind-the-scenes featurettes. But there’s just something about actors talking about the comic book characters they play that just sounds incredibly pretentious to me. I think I’m just being defensive towards my hobby and my geek status. I see these actors, these beautiful, beloved people who earn millions of dollars, deigning to talk about what they bring to the character and how they perceive the character, and I just want them to shut up. All I care about is the character in the movie. Let the performance stand for itself. Don’t try to pander to us fans.

I mean, I get that actors should be as proud of their accomplishments and their jobs as much as the next person. But I personally can’t stand to hear them talk about it. One example that comes to mind is an interview I watched with actor Kevin Durand, who played the Blob in X-Men Origins: Wolverine. I like Durand. He was good in Lost, and he was great as the Blob. But in the interview, Durand kept referring to his character as ‘Fred’ and it bugged the hell out of me. Yes, the Blob’s real name is Fred Dukes, and yes, that’s what he’s called in the film. I’m sure Durand was hired to play ‘Fred Dukes’.

Urge to kill, rising

But nobody anywhere refers to the Blob as just ‘Fred’! Nobody calls him by his real name, it’s stupid! Not in the comics, not in idle conversation, nowhere! Nobody but Durand trying to connect with the movie’s fans in that interview calls the character ‘Fred’. The moment where he talks to the camera and warns kids not to get fat by saying, “Don’t be like Fred” is burned into my brain. I just can’t stand such ridiculous pandering.

I also hate it when comic news sites feel the need to ask old actors what they think of the new actor taking over an iconic role, like asking Tobey Maguire what he thinks about Andrew Garfield and the new Spider-Man movies. Who cares what those actors think? It’s never anything interesting. These actors have moved on with their lives and their jobs, and they probably couldn’t care less. I just don’t get the fascination with bothering these actors with this drivel.

2. Prince Namor

He looks like a tool

Prince Namor the Submariner is my least favorite comic book character of all time, by a very wide margin. I don’t think there’s any character I dislike more in all of fiction. I hate his look, I hate his attitude, I hate his personality; all the things that people love about him. Namor is always mentioned online when bloggers are talking about which superhero should get his own big budget movie. People love the guy, but I can’t stand his fishy face and his persistence in major Marvel events. I even hated Ultimate Namor.

I think the hatred comes from Namor’s sense of entitlement, whether its inherent to the character or just what people think about him. Namor thinks that, since he’s so beautiful and studly, that he is entitled to the love of Sue Storm. And he just loves her even more the more she resists.Sue is perfectly happy with Reed Richards, thank you very much, Captain Buttinski! It’s the same reason I never liked Wolverine when he tried to butt in on Cyclops and Jean Grey. The geek, be it Reed Richards or Scott Summers, has got the girl, and Namor is the arrogant jock asshole who’s trying to steal her away.

You don’t deserve her!

It was made even worse when Namor joined the X-Men, and Marvel writers retconned a sexual history between him and Emma Frost. The two characters had never had anything to do with each other before, but since they were taking Namor out of the Fantastic Four’s comic, someone felt Namor needed to be the third wheel in yet another relationship. I’ve always liked Cyclops and Emma Frost together, so it was maddening for Marvel to suddenly decide that Emma had totally slept with Namor in some never before seen past, and now he was back to be an asshole and try to overturn her relationship with Scott.

Speaking of Namor joining the X-Men, I hate the idea that he’s the ‘first mutant’ or that he is a mutant at all. It doesn’t make any sense. He’s Namor, the King of Atlantis and frenemy of the Fantastic Four. He already has a lot on his plate. He doesn’t need to start stealing from the mutants’ thunder just because nobody realized at the time of his creation that Marvel’s Atlanteans would eventually have blue skin, and wouldn’t have those weird little ankle wings. Saying that he’s a mutant, and therefore the first mutant created by Marvel chronologically, is just stupid and I hate it!

Whereas I love Aquaman.

1. Batman Beyond

I’m going there

Nothing burns my ire more than Batman Beyond. Or more specifically, nothing burns my ire more than the final episode of the second season of the cartoon Justice League Unlimited, which served as an epilogue to Batman Beyond. That one episode is quite possibly my most hated episode of all television. It fills me with a rage so strong they might as well ship my Red Lantern ring right now before I get started on this rant. I can already feel it replacing my blood with heated plasma!

Let me say this first: I don’t hate the Batman Beyond cartoon. I barely remember it, frankly. I’m sure it was a fine show, and I know it has a lot of fans. Heck, most people want Batman Beyond to be firmly established as the in-continuity future of Batman in the comics. I don’t like that part, that’s for damn sure. But the cartoon itself is not a problem. It’s about an elderly Bruce Wayne far in the future, his body having grown too old to continue as Batman, training newcomer Terry McGinnis to take over as the new Batman. The cartoon ran for three seasons between 1999 and 2001.

Available now on DVD

By July 2005, the production company behind Batman Beyond had moved on to Justice League Unlimited, but in the episode ‘Epilogue’, they decided to revisit Batman Beyond and reveal some previously unknown secrets about the elderly Bruce Wayne and Terry McGinnis. And these secrets really piss me the hell off!

The episode reveals that Amanda Waller, the Justice League’s government liaison, had come to respect and admire Batman so much that she decided to take matters into her own hands to ensure there would always be a Batman. She decided that only Bruce Wayne could be Batman, so she stole some of his DNA and implanted it into Terry McGinnis’ father, so that when Terry was born, on a genetic level, he was the son of Bruce Wayne. So when Terry became Batman in the show, it was all part of Amanda Waller’s plan to essentially clone Bruce Wayne.

It’s infuriating.

Just look at her stupid, old face!

First of all, I staunchly reject the idea that only Bruce Wayne can be Batman. Yes, Bruce turned himself into a great man, and nobody can be Bruce Wayne again, but the entire goddamned point of Robin is that somebody else will eventually take over as Batman! That’s something most people don’t get about Robin: he’s not there because Batman likes putting little kids into costumes. Robin is there because Batman is training his own replacement! Bruce Wayne is fully aware that he’s going to die someday, possibly of something other than old age. That’s why he spent time training Dick Grayson and Jason Todd and Tim Drake and all of the rest, because one of them will take over as Batman when he’s gone, and they will do a damn fine job! Dick Grayson has been Batman twice in the comics, and he has been stellar both times.

It was a better world…

And there are Robins in the JLU/Batman Beyond universe. Dick Grayson is a pretty important character in Batman: The Animated Series. I get that the makers of Batman Beyond didn’t want to follow through with the logical future of one of the Robins stepping up to become Batman, that’s fine. But I hate the implication that the Robins couldn’t take over as Batman, that only Bruce Wayne can do it and therefore somebody like Waller has to resort to freaking genetic manipulation in order to ensure that Batman is only ever Bruce Wayne.

To say nothing of how this absolutely undermines Terry McGinnis as a character! The original Batman Beyond show was all about this new guy stepping up and taking over as Batman, under an elderly Bruce Wayne’s guidance. That’s fine. I can live with that. But to then retroactively make Terry into Bruce Wayne Jr. is an insult to the character. Terry is no longer his own man. He no longer became Batman of his own design. His life, his very genetic makeup, is now down to the manipulations of a madwoman who took Batman into her own hands. Terry becomes nothing more than a science experiment to effectively clone Batman.

Filthy clone

This was a rant I’ve been wanting to get off my chest for a long time. It’s the one thing in the entirety of comic books and superheroes that I outright loathe. I hate the idea that only Bruce Wayne can be a successful Batman, and I hate what this episode did to Terry’s character. Not that I ever liked Terry McGinnis all that much, but it baffles me that the creators would want to undermine him so much by just turning him into Bruce Wayne Jr. instead of letting Terry stand as his own man and his own Batman.

You may be asking why this matters so much. It’s just a single episode of a TV show that’s more than several years old. But remember, that cartoon show was Justice League Unlimited, hands down the greatest Justice League adaptation ever made. And the entire animated DC Universe is part of that large, highly regarded tapestry. Who out there doesn’t agree that Batman: The Animated Series is the greatest Batman adaptation of all time? And in that highly lauded continuity, Robin and his legacy are treated like crap. It goes against everything I have ever loved about Batman or comics.

But people love Batman Beyond! They love it so much that DC is going to permanently add it to their comics continuity with this upcoming Future’s End series. I know I’m probably very much alone in this hatred, but it exists as part of me and I do not shy away from it.

The hate is strong in me.

Whew! That was pretty intense. Sorry for getting a little out of control there! But hatred does funny things to people. So why not share some of yours? What do you hate most in the world of pop culture that everybody else seems to love? Heck, what do you just hate in general? Share the hate. Let it flow through you!

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