If you’re reading this Saturday morning, then I’m well on my way to the Boston Comic-Con! Woot! Should be a fun time. I’m going in costume as an X-Men character, and I’ll be posting pictures and sharing stories sometime next week, once I’m back home. But for now, I wanted to keep up the comic book reviews so that my blog isn’t totally dead. I’m a hard worker, like that. Though because I left on my trip on Thursday, this week’s reviews are going to be pretty short, since I didn’t have a lot of time to work on them. Thankfully, being a fifth-week Wednesday, there weren’t too many comics released this week anyway.

The comics that were released include some of my favorites, like FF, which takes a turn for the meta this week, and Uncanny X-Men, which continues my love of all things Cyclops. This week also sees the end of the first major storyline in the new X-Men, as well as the end of Grant Morrison’s entire run on Batman with his final issue of Batman Incorporated. How does it work as an ending? Well…it’s fine. I’ve been saying this for awhile now about Batman Incorporated, and it really holds true for the final issue, but this series has lacked any sort of excitement or momentum for a long time now. The air has been let out of the tires and the energy has just been sapped.

Oh well. Morrison’s run was a lot of fun overall. As for Comic Book of the Week, I’m gonna toss it to Uncanny X-Men, simply because nothing was all that spectacular this week.

Comic Reviews: Batman Incorporated #13, FF #10, Uncanny X-Men #9 and X-Men #3.

Batman Inc #13

Batman Incorporated #13
Writer Grant Morrison
Artist: Chris Burnham

I like Grant Morrison. The man is very creative, and he has produced some of the wildest stories I have ever read. And his work on Batman has been just as wild and creative. He created Damian Wayne, invented Batman Incorporated, killed Batman, put Dick Grayson in the cowl for a short but brilliant run; Grant Morrison has done a lot. And now, with Batman Incorporated #13, it all comes to an end. And sadly, it’s disappointing. Not in the sense that it’s a bad story, not at all. This is a fine issue, and a good ending. The problem is that Batman Incorporated ran out of steam a long time ago. Once upon a time, Morrison was the Batman writer. He ruled the roost. But his time has long since past, and Batman Incorporated has limped across the finish line.

Batman faces off against Talia in their final showdown in the Batcave, the two sword fighting through their issues. Talia almost wins by poisoning Batman, but Jason Todd shows up in the nick of time to make a trade: the bomb for the antidote. Talia agrees and Batman is cured, but Jason reveals that Team Batman already diffused the bomb, so Talia has nothing. Then Kathy Kane shows up and shoots Talia in the head, because Batman was never going to kill her, and killing Talia was the only surefire way to stop Leviathan’s forces.

Interspersed with all of that action is a police interrogation between Commissioner Gordon and Bruce Wayne, because Bruce was arrested for funding Batman Incorporated. Bruce explains as best he can what happened, but maintains his secret identity. In the end, Kathy pulls some strings to get all the charges dropped and Bruce is free to go. There are two epilogues to end this issue: it seems that someone has stolen the coffins/bodies of Thomas and Martha Wayne, and R’as al Ghul has an army of Damian clones still being grown in his lab, just waiting to be born to enact his revenge.

Comic Rating: 7/10 – Good.

I’m being generous with that ‘Good’ rating. This is, by no means, a bad comic. The final show down is cool, the dialogue and characterizations are sharp, and the wrap-ups are well done. The problem is that there is no urgency or energy left in this story. None at all. There are no stakes. Batman and DC Comics moved on a long time ago. Morrison has been working on this story for more than two years now, since even before the New 52 started. There’s just nothing left in the tank. The comic is running on fumes. There are only so many metaphors I can use. Batman Incorporated #13 is a fine comic, and I’m sure if someone were to sit down and read it all through in one sitting, it would be even better. But after months and years of each chapter plodding along, this issue just fizzles. Plus, having Kathy Kane show up at the end of solve everything is just lame. She hasn’t been seen in more than a year, and she’ll probably never be seen again. Her sudden appearance adds nothing. Maybe if Jason Todd killed Talia, then we’d have a story, and it might give Red Hood and the Outlaws something more interesting to do.

FF #10

FF#10
Writer: Matt Fraction
Artists: Mike and Laura Allred

So FF tries to be meta in this issue, in that Matt Fraction, Mike Allred and Marvel editor Tom Brevoort all appear in this issue as themselves. It’s…I don’t care for this stunt. It worked well, once, when Grant Morrison made it the big climax of his Animal Man comic. But there’s no reason for this kind of story to come out of nowhere in the pages of FF. It doesn’t work. It makes no sense. It’s not very funny. I don’t know why Fraction would do it. Did he lose a bet? Is this a big, colossal in-joke with his pals? I don’t know, but it brings an otherwise OK story down even further.

Fraction, Allred and Brevoort meet the FF because they want to turn their adventures into a comic book for Marvel Comics. Because apparently Marvel exists in the Marvel Universe, and they write comics about the superheroes. OK fine. The trio join the FF on a new kiddie ride that Scott Lang has invented where he shrinks kids down for a safari through the microverse. Why he invented this out of the blue instead of going to save the Fantastic Four, like he said at the end of the last issue, is anyone’s guess. So the FF, Leech, Artie and the three creators get shrunk down to the subatomic world, and Fraction pretty much spends the whole issue making fun of himself or teasing Brevoort.

The jokes are as bad as that through this whole segment. Anyway, Artie and Leech sneak a shrunken tiger on board, and it escapes, throwing everybody out of the ship. Now they’re stuck in the sub-atomic world, being stalked by a tiger, while Lang’s team of ant-themed scientists (since when has he had one of those?) try to find them to grow them back to normal size.

But the issue isn’t all bad. The kids are up to trouble elsewhere. Doctor Doom has ordered Alex Powers to kill John Storm, and he’s reasonably freaked out at that order, so he asks some of his classmates if they’ve ever known someone who’s killed before. Ahura, son of Black Bolt and Medusa, has, so Alex, Ahura, Bentley, Onome and Tong all travel to Attilan to meet with Maximus the Mad, imprisoned all these long years. They play a game of 20 questions, but the students are unable to figure out Maximus’ answer: freedom. Maximus the Mad is free!

Comic Rating: 6/10 – Pretty Good.

The student side of the story was great. The game of 20 Questions with Maximus the Mad was a lot of fun, even if Maximus kind of comes out of nowhere. And the clever way he got free in the end was a cool twist. So I loved that side of the story. But everything with the FF and the creative team cameos just wasn’t for me. Maybe some other people really liked it and loved the jokes, but I didn’t. The story just came off as incredibly self-serving. There was no reason for Matt Fraction to put himself in the story just to pick on himself or Brevoort’s Formspring. They didn’t add anything to the FF saga, especially since this trip to Shrinksville has nothing to do with anything. Last issue, Scott Lang looked like he was ready to take the gang to save the Fantastic Four. Now he has time to show off some random shrinking safari he invented? It’s just silly, and not in the good way that FF is usually silly.

Uncanny X-Men #9

Uncanny X-Men #9
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Artist: Chris Bachalo

Do you ever get impatient with a comic book? Here we are in August, and issue #9 of Uncanny X-Men, and not much has actually happened on the Cyclops front. He’s still barely got his new team together. I don’t know what I expected to happen, but something more than this. Some kind of reckoning, whether he’s proven right or proven insane. I don’t know. Maybe we’ll see it with the upcoming Battle of the Atom storyline this fall. Or maybe it’ll happen with whatever comes after Battle of the Atom. Because we all know the X-Men books can’t sit still and enjoy a single status quo for long. God forbid.

Dazzler takes Fabio into SHIELD custody for interrogation, while the other X-Men start training, including the new guy, Hijack. Also, everybody gets uniforms, which look like those cool bulky coats with the yellow ‘X’s on them from Grant Morrison’s New X-Men. They look awesome. Also also, one of the Stepford Cuckoos has cut and dyed her hair in an effort to be different. So really, just some nice character interaction among the squad – until they find out that Fabio has been taken by SHIELD, then they race to the rescue. Using Magneto’s Cerebro equipment, the team easily finds Fabio in the helicarrier, and they dispatch the SHIELD agents holding their friend. Cyclops has a confrontation with Dazzler, who refuses to go with him. The X-Men take Fabio and leave. Later, Agent Coulson shows up to give Dazzler some coffee and comfort her on the loss – only for the coffee to be drugged, and Coulson to turn out to be Mystique.

Comic Rating: 7/10 – Good.

This was a cool issue, with a lot of nice characterization for the new mutants. Hijack seems like a cool guy, and he’s getting along well with the others. He also has a moment where he ‘hijacks’ a SHIELD helicarrier, so that was awesome. Fabio gets some stand-out scenes as he defends Cyclops from Dazzler’s accusations about kidnapping. Fabio points out that he voluntarily went with Cyclops after they saved him from some cops and Sentinels, whereas Dazzler took him into custody against his will. Though apparently Fabio is only 16. Really? Not the way Bachalo draws him. The face-off between Cyclops and Dazzler was also cool, with neither one really getting the moral high ground against the other. Dazzler should make for a good antagonist…at least until Bendis suddenly threw Mystique into the mix. Really? Mystique? You just got done telling a sub-par Mystique story over in All-New X-Men. What else could you possibly have to say with the character?

So yeah, another fine issue of Uncanny X-Men, though I really want something awesome to happen soon.

X-Men #3

X-Men #3
Writer: Brian Wood
Artist: Olivier Coipel

Oddly, this storyline only took three issues. Most comic book storylines these days take at least five or six. But Wood wraps it up in three, and because of that, it kind of feels a little underwhelming. New villain Arkea was billed as a world-threatening menace, but she’s quickly taken out in only three issue. Ho-hum. Still, the comic is solid, entertaining X-Men action. The characters are all cool, the writing is superb and Jubilee is just adorable with her little baby pal. Also, Wood clearly has a crush on X-Student Bling. I’m glad at least somebody does.

The X-Men and Sublime fly out to Budapest to confront Arkea in the hospital where she first crash-landed, and where Jubilee found her baby. Apparently, the hospital is used as a cybernetic research facility, so all of the patients have some kind of robot parts, so Arkea can possess and control them. The X-Men fight them all off until Karima comes to her senses enough to force Psylocke to stab her with a psychic dagger and free her mind. Meanwhile, back at the Jean Grey School, Kitty Pryde, Bling and the students have to fight off a virus Arkea implants in the system, and at least twice, Bling saves the day.

Comic Rating: 6/10 – Pretty Good.

X-Men is a solidly made, relatively entertaining X-Men comic by Wood and Coipel. The characters are fun, their interactions are great, and Wood clearly uses a lot of them. Karima Sharpender and Bling play major roles in this issue. That’s got to count for a lot. I always love when writers use the minor characters. But I guess I’d just like something more from my X-Men comics. Uncanny X-Men and All-New X-Men are dealing with questions of mutant rights, with characters who have something at stake. Titles like X-Factor and the various X-Forces are about some of the lesser known mutant characters. Wolverine and the X-Men has its own wacky style. But X-Men is just straight forward X-Men adventuring, and while that’s fine, it’s nothing special.

Though the art is out of this world!

The comics I review in my Hench-Sized reviews are just the usual comics I pick up from my local shop any given week, along with a few impulse buys I might try on a whim. So if there are any comics or series you’d like me to review each week, let me know in the comments!