The first week of 2013 gives us a nice smattering of new comics from Marvel and DC. We’ve got some big titles like All-New X-Men and the launch of the new New Avengers, along with some smaller books like Talon and Red Lanterns. It’s also a bit easier on my wallet after the holidays. Not that I wouldn’t put off crucial fixes to my car in order to buy my weekly comic stack or anything. Though if I’m being honest, there were a lot of things that really annoyed me about this week’s comics. Everything from the treatment of Cyclops in All-New X-Men to the introduction of Alfred the cat in Batman Incorporated. I think Grant Morrison is picking on us.

But I was most definitely not annoyed with the new issue of Talon, which earns Comic Book of the Week with a delightful issue!

Oh, that Talon

Not bad for the fledgling series. Though there was not much competition, if I’m still being honest.

Comic Reviews: All-New X-Men #5, Batman Incorporated #6, New Avengers #1, Red Lanterns #15, Talon #3.

All-New X-Men #5

All-New X-Men #5
Writer: Brian Michael Bendis
Artist: Stuart Immonen

My opinion on this series is going to run hot and cold depending on how they treat Cyclops. I realize that’s very picky of me, but after this past Summer, I just can’t help it. Regular readers might remember my passionate defense of Cyclops during and after Avengers vs. X-Men, and it has not waned. With this issue especially, I think it’s clear that I’m supposed to feel the way I do about Cyclops. If Bendis and Marvel really wanted Cyclops to be an evil, mustache-twirling villain, then they could do so. Instead, he’s written as a very conflicted figure making the best of a bad situation, remaining the hero and pro-mutant activist that he’s always been. My problem is in how every other character in this book is absolutely convinced that he’s the devil incarnate, deserving of only humiliation and death. Both Beast and Wolverine call for Cyclops’ death in this issue, and it’s treated as a very reasonable solution.

At least we’ve finally gotten through the introductory chapter and can begin the series proper.

Beast is dying, and only his younger self can save him. Using the telepathic powers of Jean Grey, the two Beasts link up inside dying Beast’s head and get to work figuring out what sort of science needs to be done to save Beast. Super science, most likely. It’s very emotionally taxing for both young Beast and Jean, the latter of whom is quickly becoming a lead character in this book. During this operation, Beast grants Jean access to all of his memories, so she gets a quick lesson of her future, everything from her marriage to Scott Summers, to the Dark Phoenix Saga to her eventual death. This, understandably, freaks her out. Beast tells her that he hopes the young X-Men’s visit to this time either changes the past, or it will show present-day Cyclops how far he has fallen, a shame that Beast wants Cyclops to take to his grave.

Meanwhile, Wolverine wants to kill young Cyclops. He practically holds court out on the lawn, asking for a show of hands of all the X-Men who want him to just kill the kid in cold blood, even though young Cyclops is guilty of nothing. Fortunately, Wolverine is interrupted by the recovered Beast, who gets a new form. He’s no longer cat-like, which is too bad. His new form isn’t particularly new or interesting, at least not from what we’ve seen so far. The young X-Men then take a vote over whether they want to stay and set things right or just go home, with Jean leading the charge to stay. Kitty volunteers to mentor the young X-Men, while Jean tells young Cyclops to stay the hell away from her.

Also meanwhile, present-day Cyclops returns to the college from the previous issue to recruit that shape-shifting kid, who’s got more of a chameleon power than actual shape-shifting. Cyclops does this wearing regular clothes and acting like a regular person, rather than superhero stuff. The kid accepts Cyclops’ offer, so Cyke takes him to the new Charles Xavier School for the Gifted.

Comic rating: 4/5: Good.

There is such a weird dichotomy in this book. On the one hand, Cyclops is totally chill and cool. He shows up, chats with the kid and offers him a place among his new X-Men. The kid just got kicked out of college for being a mutant, so clearly joining the X-Men is a good opportunity. And Cyclops tells him he can leave anytime he wants. So Cyclops is doing what he’s always done, recruiting mutants in need and showing them a better life. He’s not building an army or a revolution, from the looks of it. Meanwhile, the other X-Men are full of murder and rage, creating odd time paradoxes just so that they can teach Cyclops a lesson and hopefully kill him; while at the same time doing absolutely nothing for the new mutants that are popping up around the globe. It’s kind of frustrating, but in a good way. I definitely want to see where Bendis goes with all of this. But again, if this is his big play to break up Cyclops and Jean Grey and have her hook up with Wolverine, then to hell with him.

Batman Inc #6

Batman Incorporated #6
Writer: Grant Morrison
Artist: Chris Burnham

I said it in my last review, and I’ll say it again here: Batman Incorporated has worn out its welcome. Grant Morrison’s swan song at DC Comics has become this long, monotonous drag of a story that just keeps plodding along without saying all that much. That’s not to say the comic isn’t well-written with some fun moments, but at this point, it’s fluff. DC has moved on. Batman has moved on. Scott Snyder is the current reigning king of the Batman writers, and his Court of Owls and Death of the Family stories are miles more fascinating and entertaining than Morrison’s lumbering Leviathan plot. And once again the new issue shows no sign of reaching a conclusion, while simultaneously having enough Morrisonisms to make me think I’m just not getting what he’s trying to say.

And seriously, Alfred the cat? I think he’s just making fun of us now.

Batman is ready to bring the fight to Talia al Guhl herself, so he and his Bat-drone robots march straight into the building where Talia blew up half of Batman Inc last issue. Some of the heroes are dead, and some are dying, with the Knight giving the Squire CPR. Batman marches up the building, taking out all of Talia’s goons while conversing with her about Damian and her overall goals. There’s also something to do with a series of goat paintings, which is the part I just don’t get. This whole Leviathan story has had some weird goat theme that’s just going right over my head. Batman defeats Talia’s henchmen with ease, but she’s no longer in the building. She’s off in some safe location and delivers Batman an ultimatum, he can either save Damian or save Gotham City from Leviathan.

Then Talia’s big, bat-faced henchman kills a bunch of innocent civilians. Another henchman (or the same one?) also kills Knight by crushing his neck, but only after he’d successfully brought Squire back to life. Batman arrives in time to stop the henchman from killing anyone else, but then Batman and the henchman fall out of a window.

Meanwhile, the Robins are all stuck in the Batcave, bickering among themselves over whether or not they should go and help. Batman told them not to, but they’re patched into his communicator and are listening to the conversation between Batman and Talia. Alfred chooses this exact time, when Batman is hunting down Talia, and everyone is on edge, to reveal that he adopted a rambunctious kitten for Damian to go along with Bat-Cow (who is still hanging out in the Batcave). After the kitten takes an angry swipe at him, Damian falls instantly in love and decides to name the cat ‘Alfred’.

Comic rating: 3/5: Alright.

In any other circumstance, this would be a very good issue. And I bet if someone where to sit down with the entire Leviathan saga all in one sitting, this issue would be better than what I’m rating it. But right now, this issue is as dull as bricks. Talia’s sinister plan isn’t particularly inventive or interesting. The Batman Inc. characters have long since lost their luster, to the point that I can’t even get worked up over Morrison killing Knight. That character is awesome, but this group have merely been pawns in the background of this series for a long time. Especially when you consider that Morrison already killed them all once before, didn’t he? Before the reboot?

Anyway, everything about this story is just so incredibly moot. Talia isn’t going to destroy Gotham City and nothing is going to happen to Damian. He’s currently headlining the Batman and Robin series, which is tied into Death of the Family, not Leviathan. So I highly doubt DC is going to pull a 180 when Morrison’s story is over and reveal that whatever status quo changes he makes really happened. So there is absolutely no tension in seeing Batman try and stop Talia. He’s been 10 steps behind her for what feels like forever, and not in any meaningful way. This story is just being dragged on and on and on and on.

And c’mon, Alfred the cat? Are you kidding me? Either Morrison is writing some kind of riff on the very idea of super-pets, or he’s making fun of somebody. And I fear he’s either making fun of us fans for whatever reason, or he’s making fun of Peter Tomasi, who introduced a new bat dog named Titus when he took over the series Batman and Robin from Morrison. The Bat-Cow joke has definitely stopped being funny, and now in the middle of a city-wide crisis, Alfred reveals that he went and bought Damian a cat, and then Damian turns right around and names is ‘Alfred’? Ridiculous.

New Avengers #1

New Avengers #1
Writer: Jonathan Hickman
Artist: Steve Epting

Talk about stumbling out of the gate. I’m already only luke warm to Hickman’s Avengers series, so I was hoping that his New Avengers might shake things up and provide the excitement I’m craving. But nope, not in the least. Hickman is clearly in love with his big ideas, but he has a problem sticking the landing.He throws a lot of weird, meaningful-only-to-him crap at us with this issue, while only teasing what the series is going to be about. If you love vague, pointless superheroics, then I think Hickman’s Avengers titles might be right up your alley.

The issue is almost entirely about the Black Panther, with no indication of anything very ‘new’ or ‘Avengers’ at all. There also doesn’t appear to be any connection to the Avengers series or why Black Panther wasn’t considered for Cap and Iron Man’s big team in that other comic. So there’s no indication yet that Hickman’s two comics will be at all connected.

Anyway, once upon a time, some of the big superhoeroes in the Marvel Universe got together and decided to create a secret Illuminati to run everything behind the scenes. This group involved Iron Man, Prince Namor, Doctor Strange, Mr. Fantastic, Professor X and Black Bolt. Black Panther was also invited to join, but he turned them down. Flash forward to the present, and Black Panther is once again King of Wakanda, and he’s holding some kind of games for the best and brightest young minds in his kingdom. One group has managed to pass all the other tests to find the last clue, which they unlock to see a star chart from another galaxy. Black Panther shows up to tell them that Wakanda has the best space program in the world, and that he will be sending these three as emissaries to another galaxy to further human space flight.

But their joy is interrupted by some strange portal, which takes the four of them to another world…I think. At this point, I have no clue what the hell is going on. There’s a woman who looks like a sorceress, and a guy who she calls ‘Manifold’, but he looks nothing like the Manifold from Avengers. They’ve got some kind of device that does…something. And then there’s a giant planet in the sky. Hickman does absolutely nothing to explain who these people are, what they want, where we are or why everything has turned purple. The villains kill all three of the Wakandan teens before Black Panther disrupts their plans, whatever they were. He’s then transported back to Earth and summons the Illuminati (which now includes Captain America) to help him.

Comic rating: 3/5: Alright.

Wow. This comic was even more incomprehensible than Avengers with its trip to Mars. The comic starts out great. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having the first issue focus on Black Panther, and the three teens seem like pretty cool kids. Hickman also has a lot of fun describing the games and playing around with Wakandan space travel. But then he just kind of bludgeons through the rest of the comic. The villains come out of nowhere, are never introduced, are never explained and nothing they do makes any sense. Black Panther has a lengthy conversation with the sorceress, but it explains and clarifies nothing. Then she just kills the three Wakanda teenagers. Why were they even in the comic if all they were going to do is die needlessly?

I’m in the camp that believes a first issue should provide some understanding of what you’re going to be reading. While names like ‘Hickman’ and ‘New Avengers’ might draw in some readers on principle alone, this is the new #1 issue as part of the big Marvel NOW! campaign, and isn’t the point of this to bring in new readers? If so, many new readers would be totally turned off by the gobbledegook found in this issue.  But at the same time, Hickman writes a nice Black Panther, and there’s definitely a lot of potential in bringing the Illuminati together for a story. Though why they’re going to be called the ‘New Avengers’ is anyone’s guess.

Also, it’s god damned hypocritical that Cyclops is treated like a radioactive devil for his role in Avengers vs. X-Men, but nobody seems bothered by Prince Namor, who used his power to murder hundreds and try and wipe Wakanda off the map. Black Panther seems mad at him, but he still invites the guy to come hang out.

Red Lanterns #15

Red Lanterns #15
Writer: Peter Milligan
Artist: Miguel Sepulveda

And so Red Lanterns has finally gone off the deep end of terrible. This comic has been a disappointment since Day One, and this issue shows Red Lanterns at its absolute worst. The art is sketchy and all around crummy. The characters are weak-willed when they should be badasses. And the story is just plain bad. I had so much hope for this comic when it was first announced. But that hope is dead now.

Apparently when the Manhunters destroyed Atrocitus’ planet and killed his family, he saved a whole battalion of them and buried them should he ever need them again. That makes absolutely no sense considering the character, but now that he’s back on his planet, he digs them up for use against the Third Army. Though it takes a lot of inner monologue and blood for Atrocitus to come around to the idea of using his hated enemies for anything. But in the end, he finds out he doesn’t have any control over them and the Manhunters blast him to pieces. He’s probably not really dead.

Down on the planet Earth, Rankorr continues to prove himself to be the wussiest Red Lantern of all time. He finds his brother, who has let himself go, and Rankorr tries to reconnect with the bastard. His brother is too scared though. Rankorr hunts down the man who killed his grandfather, but finds him with the cop that Rankorr melted, and who is now covered in burned scar tissue on his face and head. It’s horribly saddening, and the art completely nails this monstrous new disfigured appearance for the poor, innocent cop. But all it does is make me dislike Rankorr even more, especially when he can’t bring himself to kill the guy who killed his grandfather, at least not yet.  Worst. Red Lantern. Ever.

There’s also a brief scene where Dex-Starr attacks a prison guard for looking like Midnighter, who punched him a few issues ago. Why are we wasting time with the Stormwatch-related subplots still?

Comic rating: 1/5: Terrible.

Simply terrible. Both the art and story are just bad. Last issue ended on some insane cliffhanger where Atrocitus was rewatching the destruction of his world, but it, of course, turns out to be some kind of hologram or memory/dream or something. And once again Atrocitus threatens to talk us all to death as he uncovers the Manhunters and reactivates them. For a big, skull-faced, wicked rage monster, Atrocitus has spent far too much time on dull monologues. Likewise, Rankorr is just a huge wuss. He has never embraced being a Red Lantern, so why even include him? Rankorr has so much potential. He is the only new human to join any of new the Lantern Corps. We never had a human member of the Sinestro Corps, no human Blue, Indigo or Orange lanterns. We only got Rankorr. And he looks cool, and he could be awesome. But he’s just a big wuss! He needs to follow through on being a Red Lantern.

When Red Lanterns was first announced, I thought it would be a big, badass, balls-to-the-wall book about an army of righteous, vicious rage monsters raining their own brand of violent justice across the universe! Instead we get a team of whiners who’ve spent more time squabbling among themselves and feeling every other emotion but rage. Total letdown.

Talon #3

Talon #3
Writers: Scott Snyder and James Tynion IV
Artist: Cuillem March

Talon has been a simple and fun treat since it debuted back in September. A easy, carefree comic about a cool superhero and his personal quest. Protagonist Calvin Rose is a fun guy, he’s surrounded by fun people and he’s not wrapped up in any crossovers or complications. This is just a pure, grounded superhero comic, with great writing and great art. What few nitpicks I have are all based around plot points that I find a little odd, but that’s just me nitpicking. The comic itself is solid and enjoyable, and I’m rather excited to see what happens to Talon in the long run.

Calvin takes a trip to New York City to break into an Owl-owned bank. But first he wants to check in on Casey and her daughter, the two women for whom he abandoned the Court of Owls, then hid in New York. We also see, via flashback, that Calvin abandoned them when he went on the run, even though clearly he and Casey were lovers. Now that he’s back in New York, he’s reached out to Casey to meet on the bridge where they last parted, only he’s ambushed and kidnapped. Calvin wakes up to find out that Casey is now running a large, heroic operation, using ex-spies and ex-villain henchmen to help people in need. Now they want to help Calvin break into the bank.

Sure enough, with their help, Calvin successfully infiltrates the bank (which has a Talon working security), and is about to make his escape with the stolen loot when he’s ambushed by the Butcher, whom the Court of Owls resurrected at the end of last issue.

Comic rating: 4/5: Good.

Forget crossovers, forget craziness, forget anything beyond simple, superhero fun. Talon is telling its own story with its own characters and is doing a damn fine job of it. Calvin Rose is a fun protagonist and the Court of Owls are worthy adversaries, so the book’s main conflict is definitely a good read. And the art is stellar, with March stepping back in after a one-issue break. It’s lively, it’s personal, this is a strong book. If I had one complaint, it would be that I think Snyder and Tynion are moving a bit too quickly with the story instead of taking time to let Calvin Rose grow into his own. This is only the fourth issue and already they’re flooding the comic with a ton of side characters. Granted, I really liked all the side characters, but I’ve barely had any time to get to know Calvin himself yet. There’s a scene in the book where Casey is talking to Sebastian Clark about the bank job, and Clark says that only one person in that room could take out the Talon security guard. And I thought to myself, ‘Calvin!?’ I know he’s good, but how is Calvin the only one in the room who can take down a Talon?

There have only been four issues of this comic, and while Calvin is indeed a skilled fighter, we’ve not spent enough time with him to know that he’s so badass that he’s the only one who can take down a Talon. Maybe he is, but we haven’t seen enough of him in action to know it yet. Likewise, it’s only the fourth issue and already he’s taking a trip out of Gotham City and already he’s meeting up with Casey and her daughter. Things are moving too quickly. Events that could have been built up as big, key moments of revelation (Sebastian Clark and his knowledge of the Court, Casey and her big network of spies) are instead glossed over as just humdrum additions to the cast. It’s only once we really know the protagonist that he should be played against all these various other story elements, like Clark or a team of good guy spies, to bring out good character growth.

But oh well. It’s their comic and they can tell the story however they want. I’m definitely enjoying it.

The comics I review in my Hench-Sized reviews are just the usual comics I pick up from my local shop any given week, along with a few impulse buys I might try on a whim. So if there are any comics or series you’d like me to review each week, let me know in the comments!