A hard-hitting, two-fisted 80s arcade classic returned last week to rave reviews, and this is one of them. Available on Xbox Live Arcade and Playstation Network, the Double Dragon franchise comes back with a new look and a host of new moves, and its kung fu is good.

Double Dragon: Neon takes the Lee brothers, Jimmy and Billy, on an adventure that starts with the kidnapping of Marian, the non-specific love interest/girlfriend in a scene that harkens back to the opening of the first game of the series.

In his defense, that’s a hideous dress.

Marian’s kidnapping leads the brothers on a whirlwind adventure through the city streets, into outer space, through the countryside and into a secret laboratory as they chase down the villain who went to such elaborate lengths to kidnap their lady love:

The skull and bones mean he’s poison.

His name is Skullmageddon, and he’s not quite as cool as he looks. In fact, if you take away the army of henchmen, the enormous sword and the mystical powers, he’s actually a bit of a nerd. That’s why I absolutely loved him. While the Lee brothers represent the serious side to the fighting game–or rather, the escapism of controlling a character out to kick arse and take names in 80s style–Skullmageddon’s commentary from the background and during your encounters with him provide more of a humourous underlying tone for the whole scenario.

Why would a mystical villain hire an army of henchmen and create genetic monstrosities, build a space station and challenge you to a fight to the death for the sake of one woman? Why has no one called the police? Who’s the real villain here? The answer to all of these questions is that there is no reason. It’s the perfect sort of absurdity that can only exist in video games.

But thankfully not THIS absurd.

The 80s catchphrases littered throughout the game border on ridiculous, to the point of hilarity (What does a character from the 80s say when he stabs someone with a knife? “Stab-ular!”). You have access to a number of fighting styles and special moves, accessed by collecting music cassette tapes and bringing them to music shops throughout the game-world, and players are able to give each other bonuses and perform combo moves with the use of a rather bro-like “high-five” system.

The game is a parody of itself and similar games made during the 1980s, and it accomplishes this task very well. Double Dragon: Neon brings all of the fun of an arcade side-scroller to your game console while constantly reminding you of the fantastic, illogical, insane kung-fu world you’ve stumbled into. If you’re looking for an online experience, however, you’re going to have to wait a bit. Developers have announced that an online co-op download is in the works, but it’ll be a few weeks, at least.

Cash-to-value, I give Double Dragon: Neon a perfect score. 5/5. Few games in recent memory have captured the feel of an arcade experience while so perfectly, flawlessly lampooning the entire genre.

Someone kidnapped my girlfriend! You get the car–I’ll get my boomerang!