A new, rebooted Fantastic Four movie is coming. Despite the fact that Fox so completely botched the franchise the first two times around, they’re not about to let go of a popular superhero movie license in an era when The Avengers made $1.5 Billion worldwide. That’s in dollars. So Fox will simply try again with a reboot. Because audiences and respect for the property just don’t matter. Movie making is a business, and a Fantastic Four movie has the potential to be good business.

Just like they thought Jessica Alba was going to be good business.

I’ll try to keep the Alba-bashing to a minimum

Now don’t get me wrong, a rebooted Fantastic Four has the potential to be great. I loved both X-Men: First Class and The Amazing Spider-Man, despite first assuming both would be terrible cash grabs. So with an upcoming Fantastic Four reboot, I’m going to try and keep an open mind. Will it be grim and gritty? Will it tie in to the old movies? What will the action figures be like? Well here are 6 things that I hope to see in the new Fantastic Four movie.

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6. Better Actors

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There are no bad characters, only terrible actors

The absolute worst thing about both Fantastic Four movies was Julian McMahon as Doctor Doom. He was terrible! In both films! He was a whiny, effeminate pretty boy, who played at being a super-villain. That they brought him back for the sequel was just stupid. Doctor Doom is supposed to be a force of nature, a powerful, imposing, enigmatic and magnanimous foe who would just as soon conquer the world as save it. But Hollywood wanted a pretty boy business man, for some reason, so they went with McMahon. God, he was awful.

And what hasn’t been said about Jessica Alba as Sue Storm? She didn’t look the part, she didn’t act the part; she was just there as eye candy because they thought it would attract a larger male audience. Did it? Maybe, something drove ticket sales. But I’ll be damned if I ever support blatant sex appeal over honesty to the character. Alba had a worse dye job than Hale Berry in the X-Men films.

So horribly blonde!

So yeah, when they recast the Fantastic Four and the villains, I really hope they get some quality actors in the roles. I hope they pick people who would actually inhabit the characters rather than just look good on movie posters. Considering Robert Downey Jr’s career was saved by playing Iron Man, and Hugh Jackman and Chris Hemsworth had their careers made by playing Wolverine and Thor, it’s a pretty safe bet that playing a superhero well is a pretty big deal. You can find the right actor for the job, like Heath Ledger as the Joker, and win Oscars, or you can cast based on actor renown and get mocked for all eternity, like George Clooney as Batman.

Not that I have any idea who they should cast. I’m terrible at that sort of thing.

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5. No Nudity

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90% of the movie

Speaking of Jessica Alba, did you know that she gets naked no less than 54 times between both Fantastic Four and Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer? It’s funny and sexy, you see, because her clothes don’t turn invisible with her. She has to strip down naked to be totally invisible. And man, oh man, isn’t Jessica Alba really hot when she’s naked? Did you know that? Because the movie definitely went out of its way to remind you of that fact. Over and over. Not that they could show anything, because it’s a kids movie. But they could come damn close. And that’s just as good, right? Right? Jessica Alba sure is hot.

Is it too much to ask to be a little adult about this and not make the obvious ‘naked Invisible Woman’ joke? You know what, it probably is too much to ask. I might as well be asking for a fully formed Galactus.

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4. Fully Formed Galactus

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It pains me to deny Galactus

I actually don’t want Galactus in the Fantastic Four reboot, fully formed or cloud or anything. If the character (and Silver Surfer) are stuck with Fox and the Fantastic Four franchise, then I have to agree with the previous movies that he’s better for a sequel villain – though it would be incredibly stupid to do him again. So he’s out, ridiculous cloud and all.

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3. Pick Up Where They Left Off

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As terrifying as that might be…

I do not want another origin story. Despite the general badness of the first two films, they at least set up the team and explained who they were to the general public. So why not just jump right into new Fantastic Four action? I understand this is a reboot, but c’mon, we don’t need to go through all of that origin stuff again. The space mission, the cosmic rays, the discovery of their powers; all of that is unnecessary in a new film. Use The Incredible Hulk as an example. Even though it had little to nothing to do with the prior Hulk film, they didn’t re-do the origin. They covered it quickly in the credits and then jumped right into the story. The first two Fantastic Four films exist, and they were in theaters only a few years ago. Just go ahead and show the Fantastic Four already together, already a team. Reed and Sue can already be married. The Thing can already be used to his monstrosity. Doom can already be on his throne.

Nothing will be gained from redoing the origin in its entirety. Unlike, say, Spider-Man’s origin with the spider bite and the death of Uncle Ben, there is nothing really character defining about the Fantastic Four’s origin. These characters are defined more by who they are in the present and what they do with their powers.

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2. Mole Man

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The role Andy Serkis was born to play

And what they do is fight giant monsters! If I had my pick of which villain to use in a rebooted Fantastic Four movie, I would pick the Mole Man! Doctor Doom is great and all – and probably who they’ll use – but the Fantastic Four have a lot of wild and interesting villains, chief among them the Mole Man. He was actually the first villain they ever faced in Fantastic Four #1. He also got that nifty callout at the end of Pixar’s The Incredibles. The Mole Man is ugly, bitter and looks totally unique for a super-villain…though that would probably count against him.

I realize the Mole Man isn’t exactly threatening in a Doctor Doom or Iron Monger sort of way. But he more than makes up for his own lack of menace with an army of giant, rampaging monsters! Mole Man himself would be around for a cerebral challenge, putting Reed Richards’ big brain to the test. Meanwhile, we’d enjoy a movie where the Thing does battle with Godzilla and Rodan as they attack New York City. If you thought those giant snake Leviathans were cool in The Avengers, the Mole Man has creatures that are 10 times bigger, 10 times cooler looking and a million times more awesome!

Plus, how could anyone pass up the opportunity to recreate the famous cover of Fantastic Four #1?

It doesn’t get much more classic

Mole Man is my choice of villain. I suggest stealing his Ultimate origin, where he’s a mad scientist and former peer of Reed Richards who goes mad with his desire to create and control life. His desire to be king of a subterranean kingdom could just be delusions of grandeur. And I’d take out the part where he’s in love with Sue Storm. That was played out when they had Doctor Doom in love with her. Maybe Moley loves Alicia Masters, the Thing’s girlfriend. That would be a  much cooler twist.

Also, giant monsters. Don’t forget the giant monsters.

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1. Adventurenauts

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Live the adventure!

The Fantastic Four are not superheroes. They don’t jump across rooftops looking to fight crime. They don’t prowl the back alleys of New York City to beat up muggers and thieves. They don’t wear masks and struggle with maintaining their secret identities. Instead, the Fantastic Four discover and explore alternate dimensions. They hold diplomatic meetings with the rulers of Atlantis. They travel back in time to joust with King Arthur or ensure the historical accuracy of Blackbeard the Pirate. The Fantastic Four don’t fight crime. They go on adventures. They push the very boundaries of imagination, reinventing science fiction even as they embrace its most classic tropes. And yet they still pack bagged lunches and bicker about the radio station.

The Fantastic Four may have started as astronauts, but they have become adventurenauts!

Like the time Reed Richards met the interdimensional Council of Reeds, all of whom had their own Infinity Gauntlet, and combined their mighty brains to make the multiverse into a utopia!

This concept is what I want the Fantastic Four reboot to be about. I want to see a spectacle the likes of which have never been seen in a superhero movie before. And don’t tell me it isn’t possible. We’ve been sending actors into space, back through time, into alternate dimensions and shrinking them down to the size of bugs for decades. Now they just need to do it with superheroes.

The first two Fantastic Four movies both ended in a street brawl with Doctor Doom. Both movies! Galactus, Devourer of Worlds, was threatening to consume the entire planet, and stopping him hinged entirely on beating up Doctor Doom. Before that, the movie was all about beating up the Silver Surfer. If Fox really wants to have a hit on their hands with a reboot, they need to think outside the box like never before. They need to think outside the box so hard it makes heads hurt. Then go a little bit further. Then make the movie.

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There’s a good chance that this movie might be great, but there’s just as much a possibility that it’ll suck even worse than the first two films. What would you guys and gals like to see in the reboot? What did they do wrong in the first films that you’d like to see corrected? Or what classic parts of Fantastic Four lore have they left out that you’d really like to see? Tell me in the comments!