Be careful what you wish for, you might just get it. I’ve been demanding an issue like this since the very beginning of the new Teen Titans series. And now that I have it, the issue doesn’t live up to its potential. After finally ending the N.O.W.H.E.R.E. story arc, the Teen Titans get a chance to kick up their feet, relax and interact with one another on a personal level. They finally get some down time, and writer Scott Lobdell tries his darndest to write an issue where the characters act like real people first and superheroes second. But considering how wobbly and breakneck the series has been up to this point, he just can’t pull it off.

Teen Titans #10

This reads like a case of a 40-something white guy whose spent his career writing superhero comics trying to write teenagers being teenagers. The fact that they’re dressed in colorful costumes and hanging out on an island filled with dinosaurs doesn’t help.

Comic rating: 3/5: Alright!

The biggest problem with this issue is that I just don’t care about the characters as people yet. They’ve been glued to their superhero identities for the entire series so far, attached at the hip to that ridiculous N.O.W.H.E.R.E. storyline. Now that they’re almost free of it and trying to be normal, it just doesn’t feel natural. Lobdell gives it the old college try, and for that it’s not a bad issue, but the emotional resonance that’s supposed to be behind all these scenes just isn’t there. When Kid Flash and Solstice share an adorable moment together, I was wondering when Kid Flash and Solstice were ever an item? When Superboy hugs the Titans like old friends, I asked myself when did that happen? When one character appears to die in the end, I just couldn’t care. The Titans on the page sure looked all broken up, but the series hasn’t spent enough time with these characters to make me care about them as characters.

So I guess this issue is just going to have to be a step in the right direction. Give me more like this, and maybe I’ll start caring. Though for the first time, the art of Brett Booth doesn’t work for me. His style has been a great fit for this series, but his colorful flashiness robs some of the down-to-Earth nature of some of the scenes.

Perhaps I’m just a big old curmudgeon, unhappy even when Teen Titans tries to give me exactly what I asked for. Oh well. Synopsis and more after the jump!

Let’s get a little back story out of the way, just because. This is something of a jumping on issue, and I think it would benefit everyone (myself included) to wrap our heads around the entire series so far. So N.O.W.H.E.R.E. was this evil organization founded by this guy named Harvest, who may or may not be from the future. Harvest wanted to control the next generation of superhumans, so his people went around kidnapping teenagers with super-powers. Harvest designed this complex arena and made the teens fight it out gladiator style, then he turned the winners into his own team of villains known as the Ravagers.

Red Robin, former sidekick to Batman, got wind of all of this and set out to stop it by getting to the teens before N.O.W.H.E.R.E. and recruiting them himself. Red Robin’s efforts led to the formation of the Teen Titans, a ragtag team of heroes that Red Robin managed to organize. After a few battles with N.O.W.H.E.R.E. goons, the Teen Titans got their asses kicked by Superboy, a clone of Superman that was created by N.O.W.H.E.R.E. for some reason. I’m not sure if DC has revealed how or why they made Superboy. Either way, he rebelled, and so Red Robin decided to lead the Titans into an attack on N.O.W.H.E.R.E. to save Superboy.

The attack was a success – despite a few casualties and a fatality or two – and Harvest’s plans were defeated. The young, kidnapped super-kids were freed and the Teen Titans made their escape with new member Superboy. Except rather than escape, they’ve ended up on some strange mysterious island that has dinosaurs on it for some reason.

Awww yeah, dinosaurs!

Also they were given weird Tron-inspired costumes that I just don’t like. They made a big deal about giving Kid Flash a new suit to help control his powers, only to take it away an issue or two later. Makes no sense.

At any rate, Kid Flash succeeds in using vines to tie up the dinosaur that’s attacking him. And thus endeth the only instance in which the dinosaurs play any part in this story. Seriously. The Titans wake up on a mysterious dinosaur island with no explanation given for how they got there…and the dinosaurs don’t do anything. They’re mostly just background decoration. And by the end of the story, the Titans leave dinosaur island. Why even put them on dinosaur island if there’s no reason for it!?

This is my main complaint in regards to Teen Titans: rather than writing a down-to-Earth, grounded tale about teenage superheroes, Scott Lobdell is instead writing a hyper-superheroized story that’s all flash and action. An issue about the teens relaxing and catching their breath after a big fight apparently has to take place on a dinosaur island. Why not back at their loft? There’s no substance, just bright colors and superhero action! My guess is that somebody thought that teenagers have weak attention spans, so this book needed to be helter skelter. I couldn’t disagree more. If you look at the successful teen books of the past (like Runaways or Geoff Johns’ Teen Titans), they’re always about the characters first and the superheroics second.

Slow down a second, take a moment to let these characters breath and be real people. Then scenes like Kid Flash and Solstice sharing a kiss or Red Robin contemplating the end of the team will feel as important as the writer wants them to be.

There’s far too much brightly colored running

At least Lobdell is trying. This issue is mostly the characters talking to one another about important issues, so it’s a step in the right direction. But by next issue, we’ll probably be back to the insane action. So whatever.

We cut to Superboy and Wonder Girl, who are just coming off their adventures together in Superboy #10. I flipped through it at the store because it’s a direct tie-in to this issue. Superboy and Wonder Girl woke up on the island together and shared an adventure, simultaneously disliking each other but becoming friends as well. Oddly, that issue also featured a scene where the two characters take a bath in a big lake. This issue has a similar scene coming up. Guess teenagers really like lakes.

Wonder Girl frees the dinosaur that Kid Flash tied up with vines, showing her softer side, which Superboy takes a moment to admire.

Back with the rest of the team, Red Robin takes a moment to make an ass of himself.

Yay Batman reference!

At least he recognizes the problem. Then Bunker shows up to actually calls him on his attitude, and Red Robin vents about how badly he failed in the fight against N.O.W.H.E.R.E. Artemis is dead, Skittles is missing, Danny the Street was nearly killed, Wonder Girl and Superboy are lost, and Red Robin is in a sour mood. He tells Bunker to stop being a class clown, and Bunker stops Red Robin in his tracks to have a talk, dammit!

Bunker tells Red Robin that he needs to get over himself and be the leader that they need as a team. Red Robin put this band together, and they will follow him, but he needs to stop being a douchnozzle about it. Red Robin agrees and shows signs of calming down before he and Bunker are suddenly grabbed up for some superhero hugs by the returning Wonder Girl and Superboy!

Hugs are a powerful tool in character building

It’s a cute little scene, actually. Though I’m puzzled by how chummy Superboy is with everyone. Their friendship has really reached joyous hug stage? I guess so. I especially love the half-hug between Red Robin and Wonder Girl. I like their romantic potential. Wonder Girl and Superboy was the relationship from before the reboot. I would much prefer if Lobdell didn’t simply recreate that. This is a new universe, these are essentially new characters. Let’s try a new romance.

Some time later, the Titans have found a nice lake and waterfall to get washed off. They’ve been through a lot, so a shower isn’t out of the question. I actually have to give major props to Lobdell and Booth for this scene. It’s Red Robin, Bunker and Superboy who are stripped down to their skivvies and hanging out under the waterfall. Wonder Girl shows a little leg, but she never strips out of her torso-covering outfit for some easy cheesecake. Considering DC’s stance on showing off as much of their women as possible, this is an incredibly restrained scene. So good for them.

Anyway, Superboy and Wonder Girl chat about how freaky this island is, before he swims away to go talk to Red Robin. Wonder Girl appears to be hiding some kind of bloody thorn growing out of her forearm. Underneath the waterfall, Red Robin tells Bunker that the Teen Titans need to disband. Bunker is appropriately shocked.

Elsewhere, Kid Flash is racing some dinosaurs, and Solstice is flying alongside him. She asks if this is what it feels like to just cut loose and enjoy one’s super-powers, considering Harvest had turned her powers into a curse. She seems to be stuck in this smokey black form, but I don’t think she’s ever had any teenage angst about her freaky look. This is a missed opportunity, as far as I’m concerned. Either let her look normal like everybody else or have her feel something about looking so freakish.

Maybe some other day. For now, the two fun-loving teens crash in the grass and just relax and shoot the breeze. This is the best scene in the book, event though they start talking about the fact that one of the Legion of Superheroes from the 31st century seemed to recognize Kid Flash. What could that mean? Solstice jokes with him, and we get an adorable scene between the two.

Hot makeout scene!

But again, I have to ask, when did they become so close? I know Kid Flash saved Solstice, but still…

Back at the waterfall, Bunker insists that the Teen Titans need to continue, but Red Robin still feels bad about all the screw-ups he blames himself for. Still, Bunker is pretty insistent. Superboy interrupts and asks Red Robin why they bothered to save him. The answer is obvious (they’re the good guys), but Red Robin asks Superboy to give him six months for Superboy to figure it out for himself. If he can’t after six months, Robin will explain it to him. They shake hands, and Superboy officially becomes a Titan.

On the other side of the lake, Bunker is just out floating on one of his purple constructs when he’s dive-bombed by a pterodactyl. It’s a moment of comedy, but then when he resurfaces he sees a bunch of real bricks floating in the water. He’s found Danny the Street! But Danny is not in a good place and the Titans hurry to collect all of his pieces.

Wonder Girl really, really wants to get home! 

Danny teleports the Titans back to civilized world, and everybody is pretty broken up. I would be too. Danny the Street was awesome! Though I’m not sure if Danny is actually dead…or if he’s reborn somehow. The scene ends with this little hint:

A…grave marker, perhaps?

Hopefully that means Danny will be back. He’s too cool to lose!

The issue ends with a one page cliffhanger where newly skinny Amanda Waller looks over the autopsy of an unnamed teenage superhero. She laments at all the death, and then calls somebody to initiate Operation: Meta Dead Stop. What a dumb name.

So there we have it. The issue I’ve been demanding all this time, and it only maybe, kind of, I guess lives up to its potential. On a second read through, the issue isn’t that bad. Yes they’re on an island full of dinosaurs. And yes they’re still dressed like they just stepped out of Tron. But the Teen Titans are finally taking a moment to talk with one another like people. But Lobdell needs to do more. Give them an issue where they’re not superheroes at all. Where they’re just kids being kids and enjoying life. Put the superheroics on hold, please! All of the flashy colors and superhero action doesn’t mean squat if we don’t care about the characters. Surely a writer of Lobdell’s experience realizes that. I can only hope.