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6 Popular Superheroes That Do Nothing For Me

If I ever become a professional comic book writer, my dream project would be Robin, the Boy Wonder. Not Batman, not Teen Titans, but simply Robin. I am probably the biggest Robin fan you’re ever likely to meet, which might seem weird to some, considering Robin is one of the most maligned and disliked comic book characters of all time! But that’s simply the way I role. When it comes to comic book characters, I tend to like the more obscure, secondary characters. You can even check out my list of my 6 favorite comic book characters and see what I mean.

Though I actively hate dogs in stupid clothes

But I got to thinking and realized that there aren’t many comic book characters that I actively hate. Not even Damian Wayne. However, there are a lot of comic book characters, especially some classic, all-time greats, who I simply don’t care about. Weird, right? I love obscure, secondary characters, but don’t care for hugely popular iconic characters. I can’t tell if that makes me more or less of a total geek. But I look at some of these amazing characters and the most I can muster is a shrug and a “meh”. No thanks, not for me. Here are 6 popular comic book characters that I just don’t care about, one way or another.

6. Wolverine

The best there is at what he–yawn!

Wolverine is the most popular character in Marvel Comics, but I couldn’t care less. This gruff, tough rebel with giant metal swords popping out of his wrists is the idol of millions, and it’s no surprise. People love the bad boy with the heart of gold. But Wolverine just doesn’t interest me, especially not since he’s been turned into the overexposed axis on which the entire Marvel Universe revolves. Wolverine appears on half a dozen X-Men teams, at least two Avengers squads, and more solo comics or mini-series than even Spider-Man; Wolverine has lost all of his mystery and excitement. Plus I always identified more with the meek, glasses-wearing Cyclops, while the popular Wolverine was always trying to steal his girl!

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5. Daredevil

Ben Affleck called…

Blind lawyer whose power is that his other senses are super-awesome? No thanks! I’ve simply never been interested in Daredevil. Matt Murdock has had some great stories over the years, with a lot of great writers, but I couldn’t care less about the character himself. There’s nothing exciting about his costume or his powers, and a hero overcoming blindness has simply never interested me. I also prefer stories where the hero wins, and Daredevil has always been tragedy’s whipping boy. It probably also counts against him that there wasn’t a Daredevil cartoon series during my formative years in the 90s – not that it helped Wolverine any.

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4. Fantastic Four

More like Fantastic Bore!

The first family of comics? Yawn. The family dynamic and the characters of the Fantastic Four have simply never appealed to me. I know that each character is cool in their own way, and that the team dynamic is pretty unique, but I just haven’t cared about any of them. Johnny can be funny, and Ben is always good for heroism, but meh. I guess I’ve just never been big on family, or big on matching blue jumpsuits. I get that the concept of a family of superheroes is cool, but the Fantastic Four have simply never spoken to me in any way that matters. Though I am partial to Galactus stories.

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3. The Avengers

Not even $1B proves me wrong

So despite all the excitement building towards The Avengers movie, I don’t actually really care about any of the individual heroes or the team as a whole. With the possible exception of Hulk. But I like my Hulk a certain way. And while the movies have gotten it right (with a focus on Banner), Hulk hasn’t been the same in the comics in a long time. And then Captain America, Iron Man, Thor, Hawkeye and all the rest, I just don’t care. Even when they forced Spider-Man onto the Avengers, I still don’t care, even though I like Spidey. Luke Cage, Dr. Strange and all of the New Avengers, I still don’t care. It’s become this private club of superheroes, yet has the biggest revolving door of any superhero team. I was always an X-Men fan, and still am.

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2. Joker

If I ever write Batman comics, my first story will be “Death of the Joker”. And that’s no joke.

I absolutely don’t care about the Joker, or his be all/end all position as the ultimate Batman villain. I get that he is the chaos to Batman’s order, and he can be entertaining at times (see Heath Ledger), but I just don’t like him. I especially don’t like the idea that Batman wouldn’t exist without the Joker, that they balance each other out. Nuh uh, no way. Joker may be psychotically attached to Batman, but to Batman, Joker is just another in a long line of crazy villains. If Joker died tomorrow, Batman would go right on being Batman. I don’t like Joker’s arrogance most of all. The idea that the world should tremble at the mere mention of his name. I prefer my villains to have a healthy dose of humility and humanity, and that ain’t the Joker.

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1. Superman

The costume has never not looked ridiculous in live action

Big Blue himself, Superman, and I just don’t care for him. I like the concept of Superman, I like what he represents in terms of a stalwart and unselfish hero who uses his powers for good. And I like some of the deeper themes, like an alien helping the human race, or the responsibility of power; but I just don’t care about the character. Is there anyone more boring than Clark Kent? Or sillier than Jimmy Olsen? Heck, I myself am a newspaper reporter, but the Daily Planet has always been too highfalutin for my tastes. Superman has a boring rogues gallery, a silly supporting cast and is often portrayed as just too powerful for his own good. Sorry big guy, you do nothing for him. Though the fact that I didn’t see the Christopher Reeves movies until only a few years ago may have helped feed my indifference. Not that I particularly liked them anyway.

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What about you guys? Are there any comic book characters for whom you have nothing but apathy? Am I missing something key about these characters that makes them so awesome? Let me know in the comments!

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About Sean Ian Mills

Hello, this is Sean, the Henchman-4-Hire! By day I am a mild-mannered newspaper reporter in Central New York, and by the rest of the day I'm a pretty big geek when it comes to video games, comic books, movies, cartoons and more.

Posted on June 6, 2012, in Avengers, Comics, DC, Lists of Six!, Marvel, Superman, X-Men. Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.

  1. 6. Emma Frost. I seriously do not get the appeal. I didn’t even like Jean Grey for that matter, but having her replaced with the White Queen was still pointless in my book. Spider-Man got to be single again, why can’t Cyclops? But you know if they ever did make him single, he’d probably wallow in sadness for like ever. It stinks.

    5. Kitty Pryde. I think my dislike of Kitty is due to a generational difference. but even Joss Whedon couldn’t make Kitty interesting to me.

    4. Flash. Especially Barry Allen. There is just absolutely nothing special about him. And Wally was only interesting in the cartoon. I do like the Rogues, but Flash is dumb and usually too overpowered.

    3. Wolverine, Superman, and the Avengers. I’m lumping them all together because I agree with you on those.

    2. Deadpool. He is seriously not that funny. He’s like Marvel Comic’s sore thumb. And the breaking the 4th wall gag is getting really tiresome. And if by chance Justin Sharples reads this, I don’t mean any of it.

    1. Green Lantern. All of them! Each one is more boring than the last and Hal Jordan is the lamest of them all. I’m really only talking about the 4 human Lanterns. But really every Lantern is pretty dumb. Red Lanterns are cool. Even Blue Lanterns are neat. But something about the make of a Green Lantern is just really boring. Like Kilowog, he’s just an unlikeable Space-Thing (as in Ben Grimm). Don’t get me wrong, Green Lantern stories are great and Geoff Johns is awesome. But he’s doing the best he can with lame characters.

    • I think Kitty suffers from the fact that she wasn’t in the 90s cartoon. As for Emma, I like her because of the whole villain redemption thing. I’m always a sucker for that. Plus she’s just got this unique acerbic personality. She’s not a goody two-shoes, like most superheroines. She’s a stone cold bitch, but with a heroic heart of gold.

      I definitely agree with you on Deadpool. I dropped his solo series because it just wasn’t funny. Deadpool works best in a book like X-Force, where he’s the only comedian in a group of straights. If Deadpool is King Wacky in a whole world of wacky, it’s just not funny.

      I may never buy Flash comics or even read them, but there’s always been something about the Flash that I just like. I want to be a fan of Flash, I just never go for it. I think because he seems like the most ordinary, run-of-the-mill guy in all of comics, who just happens to have this pretty cool power and costume.

      I never used to care about the Green Lanterns, but then I never knew anything about then. But Geoff Johns’ Sinestro Corps War has made me a huge fan. I love everything about the Lantern mythos. I love the multi-colored Corps. I love the idea of a team of space cops who aren’t just evil, gun-wielding Judge Dredd types. I love that they’re bright green space cops with magic rings for weapons. I love that Earth’s Green Lantern is actually part of this corps, and isn’t just another lone superhero. Granted, there aren’t many individual Green Lanterns that I actually like…Guy Gardner has grown on me, a little, and Kyle Raynor is blank slate enough that I kind of care, but Hal Jordon sucks, Jon Stewart sucks and most of the others suck. But I love Saint Walker, Larfleeze (when he’s not an evil villain), Sinestro, and many others. Though Atrocitus absolutely sucks in the Red Lanterns series. I thought that would be balls-to-the-wall rage and excitement, but that series has just be Atrocitus whining to himself issue after issue after issue! But yeah, the Green Lanterns as an overall concept, I love’em.

  2. Before I give you my list i want to clarify that I don’t read many comics, I love comic book characters, and I have seen them in most of their other mediums; the cartoons, the movies, video games, even a few of the straight up books, but not in comics so my list may not be entirely accurate.
    6. Jean Grey- never really cared for her and frankly i don’t like the love triangle between her, wolverine and cyclops. Like you I identify with cyclops and I have, sadly, had a lot of experience of girls breaking up with me to be with the bad boy. I have it in life i don’t need it in fantasy.
    5. Doctor Strange- to be honest I don’t really care for any character whose powers are magically based, and of all of them i think his is the most compelling story, an injured doctor who tries to get better and becomes greater then he was at the start, but even that isn’t enough to really make me care.
    4. The Green Goblin- NEVER GOT HIS APPEAL. I think that the Tobey Maguire Spiderman movie has the most interesting version of him but even then….there is a line in ‘ode to a superhero’ by Wierd Al where he is talking about him and it is perfect for how i feel “and he’s riding around on that glider thing, and he is throwing that weird pumpkin bomb, and he’s wearing that DUMB power rangers mask, but he’s scarier without it on.”
    3. Superman and Lex Luther- I agree with you about superman but i would include Lex. I don’t care about a guy who has everything, a life that any of us would kill for, but because there is a guy who is more powerful then him in ways that don’t change how great his life is he feels he has to spend his life proving that he is better then the man of steel. Get some therapy baldy.
    2. The Penguin- I actually LOVE all of batmans villans, including joker (though you are right that if he died batman would continue on without blinking) except him. He just does nothing for me.
    1. Wonder Woman- As much as i love an entire island filled to the brim with gorgeous woman, I just never liked her concept. Essentially she is the female equivalent of superman with magically based powers (check above). And seriously, a truth inducing lasso, an invisible jet, and a star spangled outfit when her island nation hasn’t ever been to America before. I can get behind the gauntlets and even the tiara but the rest is too much. I feel no interest in what happens to her and the rest of Amazonia.

    by the way, since we are on the subject of supers, did you see the blog post about ant-man in the avengers film. It made a fair bit of geek news.

    • I’ve written a few articles about Ant-Man showing up in a future Avengers film. The idea is really exciting.

      But nice list! I too have never been interested in Jean Grey or Dr. Strange. He fits in the same category as Daredevil, as just not someone I was ever exposed to any great degree. And for me, Wonder Woman is like the Flash…there’s just something about them that I kind of like. I’ve never been a huge fan (though I have been buying WW comics for years now, mostly for kicks and giggles), but I like the potential Wonder Woman has. I want more prominent female heroes.

      And Green Goblin hasn’t mattered to me when his Norman or Harry. And I definitely don’t see him as Spider-Man’s arch nemesis. But I am a huge Phil Urich fan, so Norman and Harry get a pass due to that connection.

      I’m going to have to disagree with you about Penguin, and especially about Lex Luthor. The great thing about Batman’s villains is that pretty much each one is some dark reflection of some part of his character. And Penguin, at least when he’s in snooty businessman mode, is an uglier version of the playboy Bruce Wayne. He’s the dark, twisted, evil mirror of the persona that Bruce adopts in public. So that’s pretty cool.

      And Lex is just fantastic. He’s the best part about Superman. At least certain versions of Lex. There have been so many. But I like the Grant Morrison Lex Luthor, or the Mark Millar Lex Luthor in Red Son. I love the dynamic of Superman being the alien with incredible strength and Lex being the human with the incredible brain. But I don’t see Lex as someone who just wants to prove himself better than Superman. I see Lex as someone who is trying to save humanity from Superman. I love the Lex Luthor who could cure cancer if he put his mind to it, but is too busy trying to save the world from Superman. I love the Lex who sees Superman as a crutch that humanity is relying on more and more, at the cost of the human spirit. Why would a person save themselves when they can just shout “Save me Superman” and this alien force will come and take care of the problem themselves. That’s how Lex Luthor is cool.

  3. i have to admit i never thought of Lex like that before but maybe that was clearer in the comics, and yeah I have only seen Harry and Norman as the green goblin so that is who i meant.Oh I what I was referring to about ant-man was that some guy went through the Avengers film and found several logical loopholes: he couldn’t be that strong on his own, she couldn’t do that, why was he there just then, and he proposed that ant-man was actually in Avengers, just to small for any of us to see. He went through point by point to explain. Now that’s funny and cool enough, but then, i think the guy that wants to direct the Ant-man film, re-tweeted it to his like 5 million subscribers, he found it a funny and interesting idea that he wishes he had thought of, and it went viral.

  4. yeah this is the blog entry http://eatthebabies.com/?p=790. I actually first heard about it on fanboy radio.

  5. 6. Justice Society of America – They were superheroes in a time where I wasn’t even born yet and fought enemies I don’t even care about. Plus, most of their appearances in the DCU was just being legacy characters and “passing down the torch and all that”. Which was a pointless waste of time, since the Earth 1 superheroes were in the superhero business before they even discovered Earth 2.

    5. Batman – Yes, sometimes, Batman comes to me as a really dull character. Why? Because he’s a freakin’ Gary Stu! Batman fans ALWAYS talks about how he can beat anyone and how he’s never wrong. So, this is an ordinary human who’s unbeatable AND always right? Gee, and some people complain Superman has too much powers. His extreme paranoia and grim nature are also sore points for me. Batman having a kryptonite ring to take down Superman if he ever becomes evil, I can understand. Batman having files on how to take down the entire Justice League, is not okay with me. If he had their permission,fine. But he did behind their backs even when they trusted him like a close friend. And what if Batman ever went rogue? Who’d be able to stop him? Definitely not the Justice League since he has files on their EVERY weakness. That and Tower of Babel and OMAC Project are sore points for me on his paranoia. Last, he takes “grim and brooding” way to far. He’s not the only one with a dark tragic past and would it kill him to actually enjoy life once in a while? *takes a deep breath*

    4. Pretty much any speedster that’s not Jay Garrick, Barry Allen, Wally West, Bart Allen, Irey West, and Jai West. – I like the idea of a family passing down a superpower from generation to generation. I accept Jay cause he’s from a former different reality and was the Flash of that Earth. But I feel like any other speedster takes away from the “Fastest Man Alive”, plus too many people who specialize in super-speed kind’ve takes away the whole value of the power.

    3. Guardians of the Universe – Every single one of them except maybe Gathet is too dumb to live. Seriously, i sometimes wonder how the heck the universe is still here with every bad decision they made.

    2. Joker – Sadly, I have to agree with you. The Joker being Batman’s ultimate villain is kind’ve overrated. Then what better foil against the “perfect man” (Talia’s words not mine) than the most insane villain in DCU? If you ever do kill the Joker prepare for extreme backlash, his popularity is really the only reason why writers kept him alive after all these years.

    1. Captain Marvel – He’s basically a magical version of Superman, super-stregth, super-speed, flight, with a few other strangely similar powers at his disposal. Heck he’s even a boy scout himself! Oh, and did I mention that he’s “Earth’s mightiest mortal” compared to Superman as “Earth’s mightiest superhero”? Why don’t you just proclaim him as Superman’s long-lost clone or brother?

    • I’m afraid we’re just going to have to agree to disagree about Batman (He’s awesome!), but I’m definitely with you on the rest. The Guardians have become so corrupt and so obviously evil that it just undermines the very existence of the Green Lantern Corps. And while I actually dislike the legacy aspect of the Flash, I don’t like the possibility that there are simply dozens of other speedsters out there in the wider DC Universe. That’s one of the things I dislike about superhero universes that have infinite numbers of superheroes.

  1. Pingback: My 6 Favorite Villains | Henchman-4-Hire

  2. Pingback: My 6 Favorite Episodes of Batman: The Animated Series | Henchman-4-Hire

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