I love the Mimic. This obscure, Z-list superhero nobody is one of my all time favorite comic book characters. And for the first time in years, Marvel Comics is finally putting him back into the spotlight with the launching of the fantastically awesome Mimic and the X-Men #1 (also commonly known as X-Men: Legacy #264). I have no doubt that this issue flew off the shelves with all the popularity of chocolate chip pancakes at your local comic book store. We’re talking Watchmen levels of awesome here, folks. This issue, written by Christos Gage, flips the entire X-franchise on its head with what may be the most spectacular Mimic appearance ever.

Mimic and the X-Men #1

Move over Wolverine, there’s a new king X-Man in town. And his name is Mimic.

Comic rating: 10/5: Fantabularious!

Some of you may be thinking that I’ve gone off the hyperbolic crazy train. But you clearly haven’t read this issue. It’s like the chocolate devil’s food cake (with chocolate frosting) of comic books. It’s just so richly moist and flavorful, telling a compelling story featuring an underused superhero – who I just happen to think is a cross between James Bond, Elvis and Superman. Mimic is the kind of character that all the other characters wish they could be, with badass powers, a sweet new costume and appearances so rare that he’s like a fine diamond. If we ignore the rest of the clutter of this issue, like the plot and the other characters, we can see that Mimic was born to headline a comic book. The X-Men franchise is in for a revolution!

So join me, won’t you, for what is sure to be the highest selling comic book of the past decade.

We start out at the Jean Grey School for Higher Learning, and I have to ask myself, where the hell is Mimic? What the heck are Rogue and Cannonball doing in this comic book? Do they fulfill the ‘X-Men’ portion of this book? I suppose Mimic does need somebody to interact with, otherwise it would just be a comic about Mimic standing around – which I’m totally cool with. Although come on, comic book, is there any more worthless X-Man than Cannonball these days? This guy used to be somebody back in the day, but now Cannonball barely gets any love. The guy is a perpetual losing machine. I think Gage just wanted to start his story with people suffering from jet ass.

I guess it's contagious

Rogue is bitching about something, but I haven’t a clue what. Doesn’t she know she’s just wasting time until Mimic shows up? The two of them talk for two whole Mimic-less pages! What the hell? They need to get their priorities straight. If I could make a suggestion. Whenever Mimic is not on a page, everyone should be asking, “Where’s Mimic?”

They talk about Rogue’s powers, they talk about Wolverine, they talk about the dead Nightcrawler, they talk about all manner of things. The double up on characters with Southern accents is like Dueling Banjos.

And what’s up with Rogue’s hair?

It's like someone hollowed out a pumpkin and dropped it on her head

It’s like she’s wearing a giant, uncomfortable helmet and left the flaps dangling.  She’s got super bangs. They look like they could deflect bullets.

Fortunately, their mammoth speeches are interrupted by an incoming attack! Thank you! Rogue and Cannonball launch into their jet ass thing again, blasting towards the attack like a couple of eager beavers. But this isn’t just any attack. In fact, it’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for: the Mimic!

EXIT LIGHT! ENTER NIGHT! TAKE MY HAND, WE'RE OFF TO NEVER-NEVER LAND!!

Hot Jiminy Jam, he’s like a rocket-propelled gangster shooting to the moon and screaming the lyrics of a Metallica ballad. The X-Men better watch themselves. Their school just got 20% cooler. Mimic is a man who flies with a song in his heart!

Then like a couple of maroons, Rogue and Cannonball try to mess everything up. They actually try to stop the Mimic. What are they, crazy? The fools! The Mimic could have opened their eyes to a new level of awesome, if only they’d given him a chance. Instead, they react with all the instinct of a bully and try to disrupt his flight. Sure enough, thanks to Rogue and Cannonball, everybody crashes and gets hurt.

Iceman and Beast randomly show up out of nowhere and scope out the scene, spying Mimic. Then our hero proceeds to lay some ‘first name basis’ on our boys, shoving it in Rogue’s face that he’s been around since the 1960s!

Oh yeah, they're totally on a first name basis

Also, there’s something about Weapon Omega being about to blow up. Mimic’s best friend in all the world is on a one-way trip to ‘Splosion Land, and so the Mimic has come to the X-Men for help. What’s that? You didn’t know that Mimic and Weapon Omega were besties? Don’t feel bad, nobody else knew either. The two were team members on Norman Osborne’s Dark X-Men a few years ago, and when that story ended, they disappeared into comic book limbo. Christos Gage has apparently decided that behind the scenes, Mimic and Weapon Omega were all about the bromance and decided to not only hang out together, but keep their superhero costumes. Because why the hell not, right? This is the Marvel Universe, after all. Norman Osborne has a good tailor.

Iceman reveals that he’s the kind of punk who holds a grudge when it comes to that Norman Osborne foofaraw, but the Mimic and his bright white eyes lay some truth on the X-Men, and Rogue and Beast quickly come around. They can’t help but be enthralled by Mimic’s all around swellness.

This is a man who knows when to say he's sorry

He makes friends wherever he goes. But then Beast rains on his parade, pointing out that Mimic isn’t an actual mutant. Way to be a killjoy, Beast. But at least he’s now put to rest decades worth of debates that have raged across the Internet and at comic book conventions about Mimic’s status. Mutant or human? Now we know, and I’m cool with it. Beast is usually a smart guy.

Then Weapon Omega has to go and make an ass of himself by turning evil. He absorbs mutant powers to feed himself, as if he were absorbing souls like Shang Tsung. And seeing as how he’s now at the world’s only mutant school, he’s gonna pig out on all the powers. What a jerk? Mimic goes out of his way to help this guy, and what’s he do? He becomes the world’s biggest ass. Weapon Omega blasts off in search of succulent young children.

At least that’s what it seems like.

We cut to some of those children attending Chamber’s ‘Coping With Physical Changes’ class. Really? Chamber? This book is really pulling mutants out of the woodwork, huh? And I thought Cannonball was D-list these days. I would wonder why Chamber isn’t asking, “Where’s Mimic?” but this scene is actually kind of funny.

Where's Mimic in all of this? He should be teaching this class

Oh…Oh God…poor, poor Glob Herman. That bulbous pink guy in the bottom, with the skeleton inside. That’s got to be the saddest looking mutant in all of history. There will be no sex for Glob Herman, ever. No X-Man uniform, no superheroics, no hot X-babe girlfriend. Saddest. Skeleton wrapped in pink goo. Ever.

Then Weapon Omega crashes through the wall, interrupting the class and acting like some kind of zombie who eats mutant powers instead of brains. Chamber gives him the old one-two and blasts him away. This fight draws out all the best mutants: Gambit, Marvel Girl, Frenzy…Frenzy? Yep, Frenzy. This comic is startlingly obscure. But I suppose it’s nice that someone is giving these D and Z-list characters a home. They all team up and beat on Weapon Omega until Marvel Girl uses the old telepathic whammy to bring him back to his senses.

Then Beast shows up and convinces everybody to let him experiment on Omega Weapon. Oh that Beast!

Beast would experiment on your grandmother if given the chance

So everybody heads down to the lab to goof off in Beast’s ‘Daniel Faraday Cage’, where Weapon Omega is hooked up to just some general machinery. My boy Mimic gets another chance to shine, as Beast asks for his help with the experiment. Since Beast doesn’t want too many mutants working around Omega, he asks Mimic to copy Marvel Girl’s telepathy to assist. Mimic, now clearly a member of the X-Men again, is all up in that possibility. Who wouldn’t want some Marvel Girl action?

We all saw her checking out Mimic's butt

Yowza! I should be asking, who wouldn’t want some Mimic action? Sounds like Marvel Girl wants herself a hunka, hunka burnin’ Mimic! Can you say love interest?

So Beast and his new lab partner extraordinaire team up to run some tests of Weapon Omega, and it turns out the dude is a bomb of some kind. Beast launches into his usual brand of sciencey jibber jabber, basically saying that Omega’s just gonna blow up. Simple as that. Hell, he might take everybody with him. Not cool, Beast. But science is science.

Then we literally cut to “Moments Later”, as if Beast’s announcement had been a commercial break. Everybody is still standing in the same lab, and nothing has changed. But we still needed that notation about the passage of a few seconds?

At any rate, Weapon Omega is going to blow sky high and take the entire school with him. He can’t be moved and he can’t be saved. Omega’s ready to die. He’s been a lame character since he debuted a few years ago and I’m fairly sure nobody likes him. That Weapon Omega can recognize this for himself shows true strength of character. He’s been nothing but a burden since he killed Alpha Flight! The X-Men have no reason to like him, let alone remember him.

But there goes Rogue again, pretending to care and spouting something about knowing what Omega is going through. Yak yak yak, it’s all this woman does!

Fortunately, Mimic steps up to the plate and solves the problem for everybody.

Mimic is also a master of science!

How’s that for being awesome? Even with Beast in the room, it’s Mimic that comes up with the plan to save the day. Everyone turns to look at Beast, who sheepishly confirms that Mimic’s plan might just work. Humble pie not taste too good on your tongue, Hank McCoy?

Omega doesn’t want them to risk their lives for him, but Rogue delivers more of her namby pamby caring attitude, and Omega decides that he’d be more than OK with Rogue and Mimic risking everything to help a nobody like him. What a jerk. How dare he put Mimic’s life in danger! Mimic is the star of this bloody comic, he’s not some sideshow attraction!

There’s also some minor scene where Gambit and Rogue reconcile and share a private moment before she puts her life in danger. But nobody cares about that.

We want more Mimic looking gloriously badass!

And Rogue, looking gloriously cleavage

Those are some damn cool wings. Nothing more majestic than looking like an angel.

So if I can get this straight, Mimic mimics Rogue’s power absorption powers, and together Mimic and Rogue use her power absorption power to absorb the power absorption power of Weapon Omega. That makes total sense.

But oh no! Beast or Rogue or Weapon Omega must have done something wrong, because…now Omega, Rogue and Mimic are all set to explode! Smooth move Beast, Rogue, Omega and everyone else who isn’t Mimic!

How is Mimic going to get out of this one? What daring act of superheroics will our hero be able to pull out of his multi-talented cap to save the day? And how quickly will the X-Men induct him into their roster?

Tune in next month for Mimic and the X-Men #2!