This is the name of the game

I’m hoping to do a lot more reviews on this blog, of movies, video games, comics; whatever. Personally, I like reading reviews online because it involves someone of critical skill writing in depth about something I love. So maybe if I start giving my opinion, I can get some conversation going.

Portal 2 was awesome. I definitely need to play Portal 1.

It’s a rare event in any media these days to deal with an original property. Everything is remakes, sequels, reboots, adaptations and whatnot that an original idea rarely gets any traction. But Portal wowed the gaming world when it came out a few years ago as part of the Orange Box, a collection of several games. And it earned a sequel that I finally got around to playing, and I loved it.

Portal, for those of you who don’t know about video games, is a quirky little puzzle game with an incredibly sarcastic and hilarious sense of humor. It’s a basic game that is boosted up several levels thanks to the writing and dialogue. As a writer myself, that sort of thing is the bee’s knees. Anyway, the hook to Portal is the title weapon, the portal gun. With this you can open two holes in space, one orange and one blue, and then step into one and come out the other. Let’s say you have to get across a large chasm in a room. Well you put a blue portal on the wall on your side of the chasm, and an orange portal on the wall on the opposite side of the chasm; then you step through the blue hole and come out the orange hole. Simple, but so much fun!

Portal 2 takes that basic gimmick and gives it a variety of different uses, all in the quest to get from Point A to Point B. Like I said, it’s simple, but that simplicity is fun. Some of the puzzles are real brain-burners, and you feel really smart when you figure them out. I found the puzzles to be tricky, but I never lingered too long before solving them. They were just hard enough to get me thinking, and then rewarding enough to allow me to believe that I’m actually clever. Lucky me!

I beat the single player in a week or so, and it was fun. Like I said, the writing is superb. The story is that you’re a young woman trapped in this ginormous laboratory, and this diabolical/sarcastic AI is putting you through tests because that’s what she’s programmed to do. And she’s not above making snide remarks about your weight while she’s running the tests.

The best part about Portal 2 was the co-op mode. It featured two players with their own portal guns, and required Alyssa and I to work together to solve the puzzles. It was a lot more fun having someone on hand to share the joy of puzzle-solving with. I’m looking forward to some DLC stuff this Summer.

Not a great review, I know…but I’m working on it. I’ll leave you with some fun quotes from the game so you can see just how witty the dialogue can be.

– “Well done. Here are the test results: You are a horrible person. I’m serious, that’s what it says: A horrible person. We weren’t even testing for that.”

– “Most people emerge from suspension terribly undernourished. I want to congratulate you on beating the odds and somehow managing to pack on a few pounds.”

– “Those of you who volunteered to be injected with praying mantis DNA, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. Bad news is we’re postponing those tests indefinitely. Good news is we’ve got a much better test for you: fighting an army of mantis men.”

-“The two of you have formed an excellent partnership, with one of you handling the cerebral challenges and the other ready to ponderously waddle into action should the test suddenly become an eating contest.”